Do you feel lonely?

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According to a Beaumont report, 63% of adults aged 52 or over who have been widowed, and 51% of the same group who are separated or divorced report feeling lonely some of the time or often.

Aside from the emotional impact, research indicates that loneliness and social isolation can lead to poor health. In fact, it is as much a risk factor for death as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (source: http://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/loneliness-research/)

Below is a poll aimed at understanding the scale and impact of loneliness and whether there are any physical reasons contributing to social isolation. Please feel free to comment with anymore concerns below…

Do you sometimes feel lonely?

Yes
0%
No
0%
Sometimes
0%
Based on 713 public votes.

Other than going to work, how often would you say you leave the house?

Less than once a week
0%
2 – 3 times a week
0%
Everyday
0%
Based on 682 public votes.

How often do you see family, friends?

Daily
0%
2 – 3 times a week
0%
Once a week
0%
Once a month
0%
Not in over a month
0%
Based on 683 public votes.

Do you have any health issues that stop you from leaving the house?

Yes
0%
No
0%
Based on 676 public votes.

Are you a widow/widower?

Yes
0%
No
0%
Based on 678 public votes.

Would you feel comfortable talking to someone about feeling lonely?

Yes
0%
No
0%
Based on 664 public votes.

Do you know where to seek help if you feel isolated and lonely?

Yes
0%
No
0%
Based on 668 public votes.

Please feel free to leave any additional comments below …

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Belles
23rd Sep 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I live with my husband in a small village that has very few,if any, social activities. There is a bowling club and rifle shooting, badminton in the winter months: being disabled, these activities are no interest to me. We have suggested other activities only to be told 'Oh we've tried that but it doesn't work'. The only actiivity in the summer is the Annual Gala (mostly aimed at the younger ones) There is no public transport out of the village, so for someone who does not drive there is not a lot to do! My husband drives, so we are able to get out and about. The villagers are all pleasant people, but busy with their own lives. Isolation and the resulting loneliness have lead me to depression that I have found difficult to deal with. My husband does his best, but sometimes a few friends to chat with would make life easier.
Suzanne511
24th Jul 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Having read some of the many heartwarming and moving stories of how people feel isolated and lonely..even if not all the time, makes me realize WE, a lot of us feel the same, which is some ways is comforting for the fact, it makes you feel less alone, and that you do have much in common with others. Isolation can feel like an illness a disease that grows and renders us even more vulnerable and alone. It's a place I never really thought I would arrive at - like most of us! I'm self employed and work alone, love what I do for work, but due to being self-employed it means I now don't need to leave my home, nor go out on a daily basis to work. Which of course cuts you off from the rest of the world. So I understand how someone who may be a carer, or have no children, be widowed or divorced where their life has changed FEEL alone.

Where I live currently and for the last 18 years, was not by my choice, but through moving with someone that I have since regretted dreadfully. I live in a rural, parochial village and as lovely as the people are I share no history with them, it's surface politeness and I miss terribly the buzz of city life where I was born. I don't have a partner, a son who lives hundreds of miles away and a best female friend who also lives hundreds of miles away, plus she has a husband who is unwell and a full time job, so I know only too well the isolation one can feel. I hope my comment on this article at least helps others to know they are NOT alone in how they feel, just perhaps not have anyone near enough to feel that all important human connection and contact...something we all need!
joanairey
24th Jul 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
There is an old saying: loneliness is better than bad company!
Maggieann65
19th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
lve joined silversurfers as l am a full time carer for my elderly,dont go out unless its food shop or dog walking. Feel so cut of and so alone. i have no "real" friends ,im 51 never had chidren single and stay alive for my mum maggie
Sweet Pea
17th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
This is why I have joined Silver Surfers.
Wilf
17th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello Sweet Pea-there are lots of very friendly folk on Silversurfers and I am sure you will enjoy it here
Phoenix122
17th Jun 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
I've been retired for some time, I have one daughter living a distance away. Living in a small rural place means I have to travel to meet friends and although the folks here are friendly enough when you meet them, they are very parochial.
I realised a few years ago that there were people in a similar position as myself. I live on my own but have a partner who has health issues and is not very sociable. I call in on him almost daily but our social life is limited to taking him shopping with a very rare visit to see his friends.
I started a lunch group, originally contacting local members of the now defunct Sagazone because most of the events organised were in the city and not easy to get to if you live in the sticks. It has lasted over 4 years now. We meet once a month for lunch for over 50s. I advertise the event, if someone wants to come along they would be welcome. Our lunches are in a nice hotel, wide choice of menu from a snack to a meal and we can stay as long as we like. It was started as a time for anyone, regardless of status or gender to come along and chill out for a wee while. Some want some 'me' time away from husbands and family, some just like having a meal in company. The only admin is emailing everyone to get their names if they want to come and booking the table. Any of them can organise an outing if they want and we have had days out. I would recommend trying something like that. A lunch or even a coffee & scone, suits almost everyone. We even pay our own at the till when we leave so no fussing about collecting the bill.
If anyone wants any other information on how we work, I'll be happy to tell you more.
I doesn't solve all the problems because our participants come from all over the county, so in that respect it doesn't help a lot with making local friends - unless you live in a bigger town.
Cheryl.E
16th Jun 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I don't see much of my only friend due to her commitments and my health issues.
My grown up children are all busy with their lives.
I don't see much of my 12 grandchildren.
My husband comes home from work, eats his tea, then either goes to sleep for a couple of hours or goes on to Facebook to chat to his friends.
If I didn't see my husband I probably wouldn't see anyone for days.
He's not exactly riviting company though!
I don't know where to start to make improvements to my quality of life.
I have health issues which often meant I had to let people down at the last minute. (Probably why my "friends" have got on with their lives.)
melly1950
16th Jun 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Most of the time I am ok, but there are other times when I feel very lonely, I lost my Husband in 2008, all my children have flown the nest I do see them and its lovely when I do, but its the evenings I find most difficult that's when I feel alone the most.
I don't drive to and live in an area that has limited transport (the bus has to be booked) and there is no Sunday or evening service so in affect cannot go out when the mood the takes me
Zigzag
14th Jun 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I'm an Ex Pat and chat on Skype with my old friends from Germany who later moved to America.I am very out going but am the end of the line,ie no relatives or family and aware of my own future mortality.I am not depressed but am having to move due to a Neighbour from Hell.The emotions that run through me run the gauntlet and it is very hard to "Turn the other cheek" and to "Forgive those who trespass against you":also to maintain the moral high ground and NOT react.
JudiCat63
16th Jun 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I worked during the time of making friends through school times as both of my children opted for boarding school. So my "friends" were those I travelled on the train with each day - working 19hours a day doesn't do you any good - now I have a tired out body & very few friends most of whom have better things to do than visit me.
I guess I'm not very good as social events - clinging to the walls or leaving early...Early life was fairly awful, marriage & divorce followed, & for 27yrs I have been "single" & pretty much alone.
I also have "neighbours from hell" but I close the curtains & stay quiet!
Suzanne511
25th Jul 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I can understand and relate to a lot of what you say...except my neighbors are lovely kind people. 27 years single, gosh, I've been single for 16 years now and personally prefer to be single, as in I think people often fall into relationships out of loneliness and end up regretting it, but a good friend, female friend can be just as comforting and fill that void. It does not need to be someone of the opposite sex to share life's ups and downs, and I think when it comes down to it - it's the sharing that counts. You look such a lovely lady so I hope you didn't mind me replying.
Suzie678
11th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
i think it's difficult to find friends through lack of confidence. When you only have your work and home and nothing outside work you find yourself in a rut, on the tredmill and find it difficult to get off. I have no confidence to go places on my own, which probably makes my situation worse.
channeal
6th Jun 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Just wanted to point out that although living alone obviously gives rise to the worse kind of loneliness, you can still be lonely if you live with others.

I live with my husband and our daughter moved back in with us in January last year (she is suffering from PTSD following something really bad that happened to her and she has not been going out at all because of this). Although I love my husband, he has very different interests to me (e.g. many different kinds of sport).

I have no really close friends. I have always found it hard to make friends. I have recently come to realize that this is partly because I am a little bit of an unusual person, not your typical woman I suppose. I frequently feel extremely lonely, even though I am almost never alone!

So no, you definitely do not have to live alone in order to feel lonely......
angiebev
31st May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I don`t work due to ill heath but I am very lucky I see my children and grandchildren most of the week I opted to help my one of my daughters with childcare and pick one of my grandchildren up daily. It helps me and my daughter.
Robyn Gadd
30th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I will be working full time for another 7 years. I work with many very nice people and a handful of nasty people. I am much older than most of my colleagues and management don't deal with the nasty ones. My colleagues regularly go out together clubbing ir for a pub crawl and depending on the organiser sometimes I get invited. I had to move from my rented home of over 30 years when I was evicted just after I started work as although I was entitled to Housing Benefit the local council messed my claim up and I ended up with arrears. I am in a low paid job that I have to travel to but I enjoy it. I moved in with a gentleman friend as I had no where else to go.
It turns out that he is a huge alcoholic but he is not violent with it. So I am now quite a distance from my grown up children.
I used to live in a friendly neighbourhood where if you needed help with gardening or other chores someone would help. This is a much nicer area to live but there is no neighbourliness, no help with the garden etc unless you pay. I am still on a low wage and struggle to make ends meet!
I feel incredibly lonely at times but I do have three wonderful cats and I keep in touch with my children by text and phone.
I have attempted to join some of the local community groups but many of these groups are in the daytime when I am working and the weekly fee is prohibitive on a low wage.
I am looking forward to getting my free bus pass next year when I turn sixty so will be able to get out and about more.
mattjiva
30th May 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
Ha! The system protected me...
Catnip
28th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
My children are still at home but they work and have their own lives so, despite this, I am luckier than those who don't have anyone living with them. However, I have a cat, so when the children are away on holiday, I still have someone in the house who depends on me and is happy to see me when I get home.

I will be honest, the only time I've ever felt isolated and alone was when I was at work. Towards the end, I was much older than the people I worked with and I was their boss. This wasn't an issue until we went to social events where the young people would congregate together, save seats for one another and sit together. I remembered it didn't seem five minutes ago when I was one of those in the young clique. They would then go out clubbing afterwards, clearly not my scene but there was never an offer of "do you want to come?"

I was always left on my own as there were no old timers like me. I always felt extremely emotional at these times and so when I retired, I suddenly felt liberated from all of that. I can spend whole days without speaking to another human being (when the children are away) but it doesn't matter. I go out and chat to people I meet at the bus stop or in the supermarket.

I also talk to my cat.

So the only time I've ever felt isolated and alone was when I was in my final years before I retired from work - and then it was always when I was surrounded by people.
magherafelt1939
28th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
I rarely leave home as I suffer from agoraphobia and depression since my beloved wife died in January 2015.
bea747
23rd May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
So, today I went to see a 94 year old lady and had a good afternoons chat. It cost me nothing except time, no single supplement was involved and I had a lovely time. There is a lot to do which costs nothing, the WI, little local lunch groups, befrienders of the aged and people in hospitals or hospices, the list is endless. If you join something, you will find others to talk to and become friends with; leading on to outings and perhaps romances. It is all out there.
heidiann63
23rd May 2016
5
Thanks for voting!
I am content with my own company, but sometimes wish there was somebody to share the wonders of life with.. meals, cinema, exhibitions etc, when I'm up to it. 🙂
mat1lda
29th May 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I feel exactly the same. My husband left me 18 months ago, finding someone on a dating site. I had no inkling anything was wrong with our marriage(47 years). I would love to have someone to go out for meals etc. hope you find a companion soon.
faybeaversgmailcom
22nd May 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
Gracesnana
20th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
A young at heart 70, living in Spain. Separated from husband of 7 years, still on good terms. Have good friends, miss my family in U.K.. Have my little dog and enough pension to live ok, but it would be nice to have someone to go to lunch, shopping etc. Shouldn't complain really, don't have a bad life
pattypat
20th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
Husband and daughter died in last 6 years. Now remarried to caring man, but still feel so very alone, some days I battle with getting out of bed, I could go on saying a lot, feel sad for others like myself, if I could help them, I would.
maryroth
16th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
You get out and about but feel somehow alone inside is my best way of describing my kind of lonely.
I think being lonely is more difficult for men because we are less likely to ask for help and perhaps, there are less facilities directed towards men.
I agree that men are often not good on their own. A 62 year old married man told me recently that he could not manage being alone. I have been alone for over a decade now and feel very happy with a full and satisfying life but I agree that men are less likely to talk to friends or ask for help as I have done when I needed to.
Funnybunny
22nd May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
You made a start in chatting about it by commenting here x
Lonette
9th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I just want someone to talk to. I feel very isolated from life. When I was working I was always around other people.
roamer
15th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Your first question cannot be relied upon as it is confusing - you use the word sometimes in the question and then include it as one of the responses.
Ellie590
15th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I used to think I could never feel lonely or depressed but getting older makes it harder to get around especially if you are not well off. Someone once told me growing old is not for the faint hearted!
Marg1
15th May 2016
4
Thanks for voting!
Most people feel embarrassed to admit they feel lonely or
bea747
14th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
I have lived alone, but not lonely; for 20 years and more. There is so much to do and I find there are not enough hours in the day. There is so much choice nowadays, and usually cheaper entry fees for anyone retired. There is no excuse really for being alone if you don't want to be - during the day anyway.
It's true that most married couples or those with partners seem to only be capable of socialising with other couples which I find very sad indeed, as they never know when they might like some company when one or other passes on. Having said that, I'd never expect anyone else to pick up the slack in my life - perhaps that's the key.
heidiann63
23rd May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Shame that Singles are financially penalized with expensive supplements charged.

Now also have to wait until 67+ years, before in receipt of Pension or Seniors Discounts... another 14 years!

;S
Jiverdancer
14th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Meetup is for all ages and every topic is covered, if your into a hobby or interest I bet you can find it on this website I have met loads of lovely people, Its a worldwide organisation and has been a wonderful choice on my part look it up www.meetup.com. Bset description I can say to describe it the website is a massive neighbour hood, local groups are highlighted when you serach by your Post code and it is free to join some groups charge a small admin charge but in general all are free to join and free to attend a meetup
Britishindian
12th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi I am widow 67 looking young for my age (other says) British Indian. Looking for soul mate/travel companion
Britishindian
12th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Looking for a companion
Seaside woman
10th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Most of my friends have partners. I find Bank holidays can be quite lonely. I've only just discovered this site so hoping will help!
Lonette
9th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I hope finding this site will help.
psajnovica2
10th May 2016
5
Thanks for voting!
there is a difference between being lonely and being alone.
I am not feeling lonely as I have faith which helps me to grow old gracefully and happy. I know that God is always there for me and have had numerous experience of that. As we grow older we need more than human touch. We had our youth and fun and now its time to mature in our outlook and leave a positive mark on people around us. We have to take every day and make the most of it as it was our last. We must leave our past behind, what was must be forgotten and left behind. There is a future for us all if only we open our minds to it and have faith in something more than the world around us.
biker babe
13th May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
Thanks for sharing, iv'e come to realise just how important faith is, God bless x
heidiann63
23rd May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Jesus truly is our Saviour, comforter, shelter, provider. He never leaves us, nor forgets us. He meets our every need, often in ways we least expect. He forgives all who truly repent, freeing us to leave the sins / injuries from the past, when we'd be unable to without Him. He is awesome; with Him, we can find beauty, hope, joy every day. Be blessed. x
Wilf
10th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I am lucky as have my family and friends but can see that loneliness is a real issue but the internet does help especially with sites like this-Silversurfers-meeting new friends is easy
Carol46
9th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
It would be nice to meet up with other lonely people to get out and about more
Seaside woman
8th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I go to work all week and have family living nearby, however I still often feel lonely. Sometimes it's feeling invisible or disconnected.
Wilf
10th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I think sites like Silversurfers help as there are a lot of friendly folk on here
aehall
7th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I retired at 59 for health reasons. I moved 250 miles away to live by the coast, leaving 3 adult children and 7 grandchildren down south. They say it's too far to visit, and it was MY decision to move away, and THEY didn't force me. I have no social life, no partner, no siblings, and both parents are dead. I want a group of friends to go out shopping, for coffee, cinema, museums, etc. I don't know where l can go to meet like minded people. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, with only my pets
Lonette
9th Jun 2016
0
Thanks for voting!
I am also alone most of the time. I share a house with my son but he has his own life to live.
Catnip
28th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Our local authority website has a list of events for older people, tea dances, lunch clubs and courses. They also advertise walking clubs. There are also organisations (for example, Age UK) that have clubs in many areas of the country.

It is likely that your local authority has a page about this. I know that many public libraries are being closed but if there is one near to you, they may also have classes or events for older people.

I think they are generally for people who are 60 years of age and over but you may find that they may be flexible in your case.
stephcoombes
13th May 2016
5
Thanks for voting!
Dear aehall. If you log on to the U3A site you may well find one in your area. The University of the Third Age are volunteer organisations based in various areas all over the UK. Within each organisation are groups of interest, eg languages, theatre groups, archeaology, creative writing et al. It costs about £10 to join and most areas have monthly meeting where you can meet like minded over 55 s. Give it a go and you will be on the way to meeting new people. Good luck.
Poppy1
6th May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I agree with Joan Fraser, although I do suffer from excruciating back pain at times, which makes walking very difficult. I still miss my husband, even though it's now nearly nine years since he died.
Catnip
28th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I know how you feel, my husband died 22 years ago and I still miss him every single day. Even now I feel emotional when I think about him.
Joan Fraser
6th May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I actually enjoy time on my own, and like living alone, but sometimes it's nice to have someone else around. There are days I am happy to be alone; but other days feel a bit lonely. I absolutely could do something about this, but often lack motivation and/or energy.
Trampas1955
3rd May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I am an only child and most of my relatives emigrated to Australia or Canada years ago.
I don't have any children but am in a relationship. Only time I felt really lonely and vulnerable was when I spent some time in hospital. It really brought home the isolation and how much I was dependent on others.
celtwitch
3rd May 2016
7
Thanks for voting!
I don't ever feel lonely, but I am isolated and spend most of the day with my dog. We go out several times each day for walks and we go camping every summer, which we both enjoy.
I haven't seen family in almost 20 years and I don't expect to see them ever again. I'm over the hurt and rejection and I now have no interest in seeing them ever again. I went to hell and back during and after my divorce and family were nowhere to be seen.
You don't have to love people just because you are related to them.
Funnybunny
22nd May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Oh! I know that feeling, am having to move for my sanity and I shall not see my small family ever again! But I deserve some peace at 56 surely! I love mine, I just don't like them!
madam70
2nd May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I try to go out every day. I have quite a busy life but sometimes it would be good to have a special companion to go out socially as most of my friends are part of a couple
Teri
2nd May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Been widowed since I was 52. Hard going out with friends as most of them are couples so feel at a loss. Family (some of them) only visit when they want something . Health not been good this year in particular and lost my mum in December so right now not my best time x
janetburgoyne
1st May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
It's hard to socialize,especially if you're a woman,men don't find it hard to walk into a pub,but me being a woman do find it hard,or maybe it's just me.I do have my dog and I go walks every other day.It's the night's that are the loneliest,I do have tv but that's not always the answer.There's not many widows and widower clubs,that would be through the day,I don't feel safe going out at night.
April23
1st May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
I have just turned 52 , live near Keighley in west yorksand female I would love a non romantic chat friends out there.
EmeraldCity
1st May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I enjoy my solitude and would find it unbelievably difficult if I were to have to share my home. However I must admit that holidays are now a problem, especially evening entertainment. I
Lytham lucky
1st May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
I make it my aim to get out and meet people every day it's the night time that is the worst I don't feel right walking around at night on my own
EmeraldCity
1st May 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
Walking alone at night is pretty much a No No for most of us now.
Aussiemaz
1st May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Although I have some health issues I am lucky. Even though my partner has mobility issues we try to do something every day, I also have a friend next door who I watch over and family nearby. Long term things are not so rosy with one daughter already abroad and my other one due to emigrate and a son who will probably also move away. I also dread my partner dying before me as his health is not good
heidiann63
23rd May 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
Have you tried joining any of the Carers Support Groups in your local area?

Advice, Talks, Events, Interest Groups, Holidays, Access-Point for other support avenues, Respite etc - both with your husband and on your own.
wallers2
1st May 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
I am lucky to have a partner who is like a best friend but I dread the day he dies as I live a long way from most of my family & do feel so sorry for those alone.

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Who would you choose to replace David Cameron as Prime Minister? the prime minister for england lives here   ** Note: Some blurriness & graininess, best at smaller sizes
Prime Minister David Cameron is to step down by October after the UK voted to leave the European...