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Dani's latest comments
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21st Dec 2022Dani commented on:
Would you be happy to give or receive a pre-loved gift for Christmas?I’m happy to give my loved ones the best gifts I can afford but sometimes a used item can be lovely. This year a friend, feeling the cost of living pinch, asked to borrow a dress from me, worn and enjoyed but in excellent condition; she’d admired it previously when I was wearing it. I gave it her for Christmas, newly laundered and packed carefully in tissue paper, finished with a ribbon. She was delighted and has worn it to a party already. My granddaughter, a penniless student, has revamped an old pair of jeans for her mum. They’re now unique and the time she’s put in will make them precious. Everything else I know of is new but if I receive a thoughtful second hand present I’ll be very happy…as will the planet.ViewDate:
21st Dec 2022Dani commented on:
Do you still use an analogue landline?This is a deliciously funny topic for me. I have an all singing all dancing digital super phone, helpfully provided by BT as part of my halo ( or maybe angel?) package. It beeps, it lights up, it seems to interact spontaneously with any other device in the room. The only thing I can’t persuade it to do is allow me to make a phone call. So yes, I answered no, if that makes sense, but not being an analogue user does not imply that I’ve ever actually made a landline call digitally. The way to solve this issue is to ring BT… on the phone that prefers to discuss hip hop with Alexa. It’s a comedy in which I live but don’t have the script… available by dialling… oh, no, never mind.ViewDate:
3rd Sep 2021Dani commented on:
Are you able to get a face-to-face doctor appointment?No, it’s seemingly impossible to see a doctor in person at the practice I am registered at. There is a triage system that involves explaining in detail to a non medical member of staff why you have rung. Then, if that first contact deems it necessary, one is told to expect a call from a nurse, pharmacist, or other practitioner. The call can come at any time, sometimes many hours after initial contact. Enquiries about waiting times are not welcome! The practitioner rings, takes more details, decides if you need a call from a doctor or advises ringing NHS111 or dialling 999 or to go to the local pharmacy, or to stop being a fusspot and get on with it. The doctor rings when free. Details are given again. Similar advice as before or a prescription sent to the pharmacy. I now use Doctor Care Anywhere. Video call with well qualified GP and an opportunity to see a private GP if necessary. I thank God that I am in good health!ViewDate:
18th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Why?I’ve just read your post and I’m so sorry that you feel sidelined and sad. I’m very fortunate in that I don’t suffer from depression, but I still don’t like it when people simply disappear just when I thought I might be making a friend. Persevere. Not everyone is fickle. It’s hard, but dig in. I’m happy to chat. XViewDate:
18th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Morning from a silver-surfing Yorkshire lass who is spending too many days not speaking to anyone - but the walls.Hello Wuffler…guessing it’s not actually your given name, unless you had parents with a curious sense of humour! I’m only a short drive from the Peak District and my dog and I frequently go walking there. My new addition is another Labrador, a puppy called Flora, as yet too small to tackle more than a stroll. I love the Lakes too, hard to imagine anyone not, but only out of season now. Like the play on ‘rambling’….I’m easily entertained.ViewDate:
9th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Would you be happy with a scaled-down wedding?Personally, after almost five years of widowhood, I’d elope at the drop of a hat with anyone . No witnesses required. ( interview dates pending!!!) Well, we can’t be solemn all the time, can we?ViewDate:
9th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Morning from a silver-surfing Yorkshire lass who is spending too many days not speaking to anyone - but the walls.Hi there. My walls are great conversationalists….they never argue, never disagree and are always available. Just as well since, like you, I don’t hassle my children and am retired from teaching. I’m doing a good line of chat with my sunflowers just now! The allotment sounds great. Dani.ViewDate:
9th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Just joined so I'm introducing myself.Hello, I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your wife; it leaves a big hole. Don’t be too despondent about the in laws. When I lost my husband there were many promises of endless help and support….and not a word since the funeral, nearly five years ago. It’s just how it is. On the plus side, you are free to make new friends, many of whom will be starting over like yourself. It’s a slow easing into new relationships and it takes time, but it will happen. I’m always happy to chat to anyone, male or female. It’s a cold lonely world if we don’t both reach out ourselves and also respond when others do. Kindest wishes, Dani.ViewDate:
6th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Friend/travel companionHey, I’m retired, spend a lot of time grandchild minding and love it, but would enjoy some adult company for a visit anywhere. I’m in Cheshire. Before lock down I enjoyed a great few days with a kiwi in York. Amicable not romantic, great fun. Amazing Shakespeare.ViewDate:
6th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Should wolf-whistling become a criminal offence?I never, even as a young woman, would have taken a wolf whistle as a compliment. In which reality does men think that woman want to be regarded as fodder for their sexual egos? None I’ve ever visited. However, I don’t believe that we should condemn all sexual approaches from men. How are we supposed to meet likely spouses and reproduce? I was naive but resilient as a young woman. Men were put in their place if they overstepped the mark. The issue now is that the mark has been lost. A smile implies consent, a compliment may be seen as an assault. Where is the sensible balance? I’d like to see young people invited to rejoice in their own, and each other’s, sexual independence. Don’t look for offence, don’t assume access. It’s called respect. It works whether you’re seventeen ot seventy.ViewDate:
6th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Black Lab puppies - [DELETED_MEMBER]I have an eleven year old black lab and have just taken on the care of a ten week old black red fox lab. She’s wonderful but oh my gosh, I’d a bit forgotten the chewed shoes and nibbled feet. I love her. She’s so much fun.ViewDate:
6th Aug 2021Dani commented on:
Male and femaleThat’s easy, I think. Just be yourself, as open and responsive as you would be to a friend of your gender. My husband spent most of his holidays with a mutual female friend who shared his love of wildlife photography. I was fine with that. If we reduce every human relationship to the romantic/sexual, we’re selling ourselves short. That doesn’t mean that the romantic connection is redundant; just that there’s so more to enjoy.ViewDate:
12th Jul 2021Dani commented on:
SicilyWell it’s well worth a visit…one of the largest acropolis sites in Europe and nearby, the quarry, some columns in the process of being hewn from the rock, that you can walk behind as if you were the stonemason. Simply fabulous. I hope your trip is memorable.ViewDate:
6th Jul 2021Dani commented on:
No thanks, no cashOh dear, how sad. Some of mine are just the same but I keep sending gifts and cards just so that they know they are loved. They might look back one day and realise how blessed they were to have faithful people in their lives who kept up the contact even when they failed to respond. Even if you don’t restart the cards, an email or just a kind thought might be a good idea.ViewDate:
6th Jul 2021Dani commented on:
SicilyGood for you, Peter. I go regularly to Selanunte. Everything about Sicily is wonderful and you’ll have a marvellous time. The only bit that I’m not so good at is the traffic islands…a case of hand on horn and toss oneself in, as everyone else seems to do.ViewDate:
6th Jul 2021Dani commented on:
Staying positive - Pollyanna it!Hello Elaine, I went to an outdoor performance of The Merry Wives of Windsor on Friday. It was wonderful to be in a pop up theatre, in a park, on a summer evening. A great way back into theatre going. I hope you get a chance to try it.ViewDate:
6th Jul 2021Dani commented on:
Cruising is fun - but certainly not alone...I’ve never been on a cruise. My husband wouldn’t consider it. It was the wilderness with no extra human contact for him…except for me, of course! I’d love it if someone could explain what it’s actually like on a cruise ship. I imagine enforced company of heavy drinkers and far too much to eat but I might be quite wrong. Half of me thinks what an easy and safe way for a widow to travel and the other half says Don’t even think about it. Personal tales would make a fascinating read. Thank you cruisers in advance.ViewDate:
11th Jun 2021Dani commented on:
People Have Forgotten How To Be Friends...Hello Ian, just hoping that things are going better for you and that you’re feeling a little less lonely.ViewDate:
11th Jun 2021Dani commented on:
Cleaning my propertyI don’t. I garden for wildlife. The most I do is quickly rake fallen leaves into a pile in a quiet corner. It’s amazing to see what creatures find shelter there. A time saving, life encouraging system. Give it a try.ViewDate:
1st Jun 2021Dani commented on:
People Have Forgotten How To Be Friends...I’m sorry if I sounded trite, Ian. It was not my intention. I realise how difficult it is for many people and I appreciate your comments in your original post about so called friends just abandoning you until they need something. I hope that on here you will make some new connections that could develop into worthwhile friendships.ViewDate:
29th May 2021Dani commented on:
People Have Forgotten How To Be Friends...Hi. Make new friends. Online, in the park, at church, in a class. It’s hard. Go for it.ViewDate:
29th May 2021Dani commented on:
Living with my grown child and my grandchildrenHey, I’m with you. We are too often seen as people not worth respecting. You are. Dig in. Move and live alone if you need to. I’m about to. I feel for you. Dig deep. Remember, we were the parents, the lovers, the adults who brought our children up and protected them. We are not suddenly a bunch of ninnies who can be walked over.. get out or get them out!, painful but necessary if you are going to have a life. Bless you. Dani.ViewDate:
22nd May 2021Dani commented on:
Would you be happy with a driving curfew over the age of 70?No. I’m pushing seventy and a much safer driver than my eighteen year old granddaughter who is out in her tiny car, packed with other youngsters, until the early hours most nights. It’s a far more complex issue than age.ViewDate:
22nd May 2021ViewDate:
22nd May 2021Dani commented on:
Re-socialisationHello Streudal. Sorry to hear your current position. I’m in a not dissimilar one but with a son. He came to live with me and my husband six years ago after a breakdown. We were really happy to help. Sadly, my husband died a year later but the son is still with me...increasingly manipulative and preventing me from meeting friends or moving on. I look after his children far too much and feel trapped. He’s started criticising everything I do, and is deliberately unkind, freezing me out if he doesn’t like something I’ve said or done. It’s just as hard to escape as it would be from a partner, maybe harder as I feel a ludicrous sense of responsibility towards him and his children. My idea of a retreat was a canal barge but honestly, why should we be the ones to pack up and run? It shouldn’t be like this at our age, should it? Good job we can open up here, a safety valve. Best wishes.ViewDate:
22nd May 2021Dani commented on:
FriendshipSorry to hear you’re fed up, Ruth. It has been a long haul stuck at home. I loved your gardening comments. My garden started off wild and I was determined to get some order as well as be wildlife friendly. The result...a jungle! I’ve paid a gardener this week to do some heavy stuff and the result is amazing. I can find the oil tank and the washing line! Forty pounds well spent. I’ll chat with you any time. Dani.ViewDate:
22nd May 2021Dani commented on:
Hi , am a widowerPerhaps you’d like to share some stories. There are lots of us here who are widowed and would enjoy hearing about others’ lives. I’ve noticed that the wine bottle(s) have taken a hit during the last few months...you aren’t alone in that either! Best wishes.ViewDate:
19th Mar 2021Dani commented on:
Is sleeping in separate beds the beginning of the end?Oh how I would love the luxury of making this choice! My husband of forty two years passed away four years ago...we never wanted separate beds. Bed was the place where we chatted privately away from our large family, laughed a lot, made love as enthusiastically at the end as at the beginning. Now, I still have empty bed syndrome. I sleep lightly and find myself flinging an arm or leg out looking for contact...I wake in tearful shock to find the space empty. I’m a very cheerful widow and live a fulfilling life but no, separate beds is not my idea of married life.ViewDate:
20th Feb 2021Dani commented on:
The perils of being a gentlemanThat’s so funny. And a well told story. Perhaps you need to focus on rescuing ladies nearer to you in age....they don’t require a recommendation from your MP and vicar, along with a history of your antecedents , in order to accept a bit of human kindness.ViewDate:
18th Dec 2020Dani commented on:
What’s the naughtiest thing your pet has done at Christmas?We had a cat, a stray brought home by one of my many children, to join the substantial menagerie already causing chaos on a daily basis. But this cat was something else. Female, capable of morphing from a purring pussy on a child’s knee into a snarling terrorist, all without warning. She ate the turkey. Yes, it was locked in the kitchen, yes we all kept an eye on it, but between its preparation and the oven she chewed a bite from pretty much the whole surface...no chance of cutting part off and carrying on...she’d wrecked the lot. As I started emergency planning involving sausages and the ham meant for Boxing day, my wonderful husband and oldest child quietly disappeared, avoiding the ructions I thought. But no, they returned bearing a fresh and un damaged turkey. They’d knocked up a local turkey growing farmer who took pity on them and prepared a left over bird just for us....at no cost. We became friends with that family and are to this day, although my husband has passed away and most of the children are fledged. The cat brought love and kindness as well as disaster.ViewDate:
18th Dec 2020Dani commented on:
Should we pick chicken over turkey this Christmas?I’m making beef Wellington. Sorry to traditionalists but there will only be my son and me and this will be a simple delicious treat without a huge pile of washing up. Yummy.ViewDate:
18th Dec 2020Dani commented on:
New member in Scotland, chose Friendship would also like companionship.Hello Mike and Shirley, It really is an odd season, isn’t it? I’m so sorry about the medical problems in your family, Shirley, and hope that everyone is feeling a little better soon. It’s funny how many of us have ended up living with a member of our family other than a partner. I was widowed a little while ago and have an adult son living with me. It’s not a problem, and we get on well, but it’s not what I would have chosen at this stage in my life, and it certainly puts constraints on one’s freedom. We also have his children to stay very often; again, delightful but limiting in terms of having a life of one’s own. So I guess that this Christmas we need to count every single tiny blessing, love everyone we’re gifted with and share as much joy as we can. I wish you both, and everyone who might read this, peace, good health and hope for the future. ( and a glass of bubbly) DaniViewDate:
15th Dec 2020ViewDate:
2nd Dec 2020Dani commented on:
Should The Crown carry a fiction warning?If you can’t see tv shows for what they are...money making ventures designed to entertain, then don’t have a television. I haven’t got one and I’m not aware of any horrible deprivation. Soon we’ll have people demanding warnings on books, works of art, everyday conversations that might be misconstrued....’ so sorry, I might be about to say something that you could possibly not understand in the current context..’ It’s quite funny really.ViewDate:
2nd Dec 2020Dani commented on:
Would you like it to snow at Christmas?Yes, I’d love it to snow. I too am awash with mud and the idea of a clean white covering over the lanes and fields is charming. I’ve also recently swapped my super sensible Audi for a huge pickup with raised suspension and tyres that come up to my waist. Just didn’t want a grannybus I suppose. Now I want to try it out!ViewDate:
30th Nov 2020ViewDate:
30th Nov 2020Dani commented on:
Wouldn’t It Be LoverlyHello. It must be tricky without being able to drive...I live at the end of a dirt track and I’d be marooned if I hadn’t a car. However, here we are, chatting virtually, something that would have been impossible such a short time ago. I also like actual letter writing. There’s something so lovely about getting post that isn’t unwanted advertising or a bill! My home is a small, ramshackle cottage with very peaceful surroundings. It’s like a comedy sketch every day as I haul the coal and chop logs. Your apartment sounds like complete luxury. We should exchange photos to make each other laugh. Have a lovely evening. Dani.ViewDate:
26th Nov 2020Dani commented on:
Is foreign aid better spent at home?No. I’m deeply ashamed of being a citizen of a wealthy country that doesn’t deem it a duty to support the poor of the international community. Poverty here is appalling and a disgrace, but caused by unjust distribution of wealth and an acceptance that we are stuck in the status quo with regard to supporting those in need. I’m in favour, although I am not at all rich, of increasing taxes to fulfil our commitment to overseas aid and increase our help to those people at home who are struggling. What I don’t want is to see more cash wasted on unnecessary schemes like HS 2, expensive consultants and spin doctors whose sole purpose seems to be to confuse the public, and weapons. We are a rich nation...we just spend it wrongly.ViewDate:
26th Nov 2020Dani commented on:
Lonely and vulnerable and looking to chatKiara,.that made me so sad. Do you want my email address? I’ll happily chat with you although I’m sorry I’m not close enough to pop in. I don’t think people are selfish, really, just tied up in their own lives and not confident in reaching out. Well done that you have..Dani..ViewDate:
26th Nov 2020Dani commented on:
Cheap eats and recipe swapsGo on then, let’s have recipe one. I’ll give it a go and report back.