She caught me, ‘fiddling with it’. She crept up from the rear,
I didn’t know that she was there. Till she, ‘it me up the ear’,
She, ‘it the roof`, and cussed me. I said. ” I’ve done it once before”.
“But only when I knew you were out, and then I locked the door”.

She wasn’t very happy, at my confession, I admit,
But what I told her after, didn’t help one little bit.
I said. “I fiddle faster, when I know that you are out,
And I hold it in my little hand, and I wave it all about”.

Er face went red, at what I’d sed, (because I’d fiddled fast ),
And because I’d done it twice as well, ( our marriage wouldn’t last ),
And also I remembered, and she went redder when I said.
“I also fiddled late one night, when you had gone to bed!”.

“You see, I like a fiddle, when sitting in the dark,
I can imagine anything I like, I enjoy this fiddling lark”.
At that, she just exploded, her hands went round me throat,
“You’ve finished with your fiddling lad,  now give me that remote!”.

( She says, ‘it’s er telly’, and I can’t touch the remote!)


About the author

Mick Westwood
17057 Up Votes
I am a 71 year old retired coal miner, who spent 30 years working underground. Having time on my hands, and in order to keep my brain exercised, I decided to try to write poetry and put down on paper some of my life experience, and my hopes, dreams and other thoughts. I also do a little gardening, but I am hopeless at housework. Much to my wife's displeasure.

More from Mick Westwood

Speed your journey
For Captain Sir Tom Moore ( We are so proud of you ) Speed your journey Speed your...
Read More
Mindset ( COVID ) Please can I have my say on this plague-ridden day, Can I tell you how I...
Read More
Help please!
The Problem Christmas dinner is a winner, But it comes at a price, You see, it leaves me...
Read More
December A Christian month, December, Our happy time of year, When Christianfolk...
Read More
If you enjoyed reading this, show your appreciation to the author with a thumbs up! 22

Mick Westwood would love your feedback, please leave your comments below:

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Click here if you have forgotten your password
24th Jan 2021
Thanks for voting!
That made me chuckle on cold frosty Sunday morning. Thank you.
24th Jan 2021
Thanks for voting!
Very clever and hilarious. Cheers Mick.
23rd Jan 2021
Thanks for voting!
Brilliant Mick-=another great poem to cheer us all up.
23rd Jan 2021
Thanks for voting!
Thank you, really needed a smile on such a grey day

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!

Showcase your literature

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

Click here if you have forgotten your password
Click here to visit the showcase home page