I’m sitting here trying to think what to put on my CV,
I never really learned any foreign languages you see!
I can understand toddler talk, teenage grunting too,
But the ones you get the levels for I just didn’t do!
I didn’t get any A levels, at math’s I use to quake,
But I know the right proportions for a most amazing cake!
Never heard of socials studies, they didn’t do that in my day
But I keep toddlers, teens, and grandpa’ from fighting every day!
Now chemistry and physics, that’s way above my head,
I know which washing powder works, and bleach kills all germs dead!
In something called Home Economics my daughters got a GCE,
But the girl can’t make a sandwich, so just how hard can that be?
When I was young and went to school, we just did PT or PE,
Now they have fancy names for it, that’s what bothers me,
I don’t attend a fancy a gym, no certificate to my name,
But running round after a family keeps me fit just the same!
And as a wife and mother here are my skills just take a look,
Nurse, Cleaner, Gardener, Hostess, Mistress, Ambassador and Cook!
So I’m looking for someone to offer me a very well paid position,
And the title of this expert post what else, but a Domestic Technician!