My Teeth Ain’t What They Used to Be

Yet another little ditty inspired by mum, who I recently spent a few days with. She came out with this line as we were chatting and I told her then and there that I would use it in a fun verse. It was just too good to pass up. Mum, you are a gold mine of inspiration, thank you!

My Teeth Ain’t What They Used to Be

I remember fondly, the days.
Of buying toffee with a hammer, sold in trays;
Of having beef served up as steak and not as mince
Things have gone a little wobbly since

Who knows how much dental floss I’ve torn,
Trying to oust that stubborn nub of corn?
Bits get stuck in the gaps, you see
For my teeth ain’t what they used to be

There was a time I’d confidently bite
Into a rosy apple; pure delight!
Now the only fruit I eat comes in pies
The pulp all mashed and pureed down to size

Yes, gone are the careless days of youth
I miss them too; that’s the honest truth
Going out for meals, no hint of doubt;
These days it’s just my teeth that I take out

I’m hungry now, with all this talk of food,
Now that over my dental past I’ve chewed
I think I’ll have a bowl of soup for tea
‘Cos my teeth just ain’t what they used to be

S P Oldham