Oh, My Aching Feet

Something to giggle about… Enjoy! Is it time for sensible shoes?

Oh, My Aching Feet

I‘m done with wearing high heel shoes, stilettoes aren’t for me,
they make me totter like a drunk, not my cup of tea.
My feet have spread like flippers, now its comfort I must seek,
not delicate little kitten heels, so elegant and so chic.

Roomy, wide, and comfortable is the order of the day,
the perfect shoe solution for my ‘plates of meat’ to splay.
Throbbing feet are never sexy, and hobbling’s even worse.
I would rather be in cosy shoes where comfort just comes first.

Platform shoes and sling-backs, now consigned to history,
trainers, brogues, and nice wide flats are just the thing for me.
Tantalising thigh-high boots, alluring as they are,
completely off the fashion scale, sadly ‘au revoir.’

Designer shoes are right offs, no six-inch heels ‘to boot.’
Just give me e-width splendours as a wonderful attribute.
Let me liberate my bulges, let them deviate and grow,
I could always wear the boxes so my bunions will not show!

My feet are now my nemesis, an affliction to the shoe,
I’m reduced to being rational, so, what’s this girl to do?
If I disrespect my aching feet, I will pay a tidy price.
Do I opt for pain and suffering in order to look nice?

So, it is farewell to all très chic now, bonjour to flat and wide
It is slippers verses court shoes and ‘to hell’ with any pride.
The ecstasy of a memory foam is bliss to my two feet,
the sheer delight of padded soles is a most delightful treat.

My dear old ‘trotters’ have served me well, they have never let me down,
but now they look a sorry state when hauling me around.
So, it’s a visit to the chiropodist instead of shoe boutiques.
No longer Louis Vuitton for me, it’s extra wide I now seek.

ⓒ Teresa Harrison-Best
Revised April 2022