Shopping Alone

Shopping Alone

She sent me for the shopping,
With orders ringing clear,
All I could say, as I went away,
Was. ‘Yes, my dear’.

I had got to get some cat – food,
And the nice bread that we like,
You know the one, – it’s very good,
With the lad who pushes the bike.

She also wanted shampoo,
For me to wash my hair,
“But don’t bring for ‘thick and plenty’,
Bring, ‘For that that’s hardly there”. (cheeky sod)

“Also bring some Rennies,
Oh, – and before you go away,
I haven’t any pennies,
So you’ll just have to pay “.

“And don’t forget the coupons,
And the offers on the shelf “.
I thought,  ‘keep on old blossom’,
You’ll be gooin shopping yourself.

Well, of course, I got it mixed up,
I’m really not that bright,
I started off in flying form,
I got the cat – food right.

I thought that she would like a change,
So I bought a cheaper bread,
My lad, did her face rearrange,
I thought,  ‘She’s off her head’.

“You know this bread’s no good”, she moaned,
It breaks up on the butter”,
“And this shampoo’s the cheapest”.
(Mutter, mutter, mutter).

“You’re an idiot”,  she called me,
“A proper shopping twerp”.
“Well, at least I got the Rennies right,
So you can nag me while I burp”.

(I ain’t gooin agen).
Mick.