Waxing lyrical

Waxing lyrical

Why are we faced with so much hair?
it isn’t right, it isn’t fair.
the pressure’s on to keep it trimmed
To be all silky and smoothed skinned.

Lets start with women’s underarms,
where mowing is the same on farms.
You shave it off and back it grows,
you need to trim if you expose.

There’s nothing worse than hairy pits.
You really have to have a blitz.
If you use cheap disposable razors,
your arm pits feel like they’ve been tazered.

But if you leave them long and hairy,
even the dog will be quite wary.
And now to ladies “down below”,
where hair will sprout and bloom and grow.

If it peers out from your swim suit,
no one will ever think that’s cute.
You might decide to have a wax.
Before you do think of the facts

They cover you with sticky strips
and watch you cry as off it rips.
And what about that prickly rash?
After you’ve parted with your cash?

The after burn makes you walk funny,
and it may cost a bit of money.
If you decide to cut and trim
make sure you put it in the bin.

Those little tufts get everywhere,
it looks like you have killed a bear.
And working down below the knee,
hairs on display for all to see.

Especially when the weathers hot,
there’s no excuse to be forgot.
You don’t want folk to stand and stare
at a forgotten patch of hair.

It’s best to do them in the shower
it only takes about an hour.
Do you remember the smelly cream?
supposed to be a young girl’s dream.

You had to wait for it to melt.
(not recommended below the belt).
When it had worked the full ten minutes,
you scraped it off with your hair in it.

The smell was grim and lingered on,
and not all of the hair was gone.
Tweezers are useful if you pluck,
or you might leave it all to luck.

This constant struggle to look groomed,
I feel that some of us are doomed.
And when it’s growing back as stubble
it’s only going to cause us trouble

Then when you approach a certain age,
when thinning hair is all the rage.
They start to come out on your chin
It seems us girls will never win!

Jan Millward©