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Is it ever ok to snoop on your partner’s device?

More than a third of Britons have admitted to snooping on their partner’s devices and social media accounts to find out whether they are guilty of cheating, a study has revealed.

Four in 10 people confessed to spying on their other halve’s phone at least once a week, while one in five men said they waited until their partner was asleep to use their fingerprint to unlock their phone.

The findings come as family lawyers Hodge Jones & Allen report an increase in people citing information uncovered on devices being used as examples of unreasonable behaviour and adultery for divorce.

“Technology means that there are far more ways to snoop now than there were before,” said Dr Martin Graff, a reader of psychology at the University of South Wales and expert in cyber psychology.

“Social media has also created a world where people might be encouraged to search out information on their romantic partners having maybe seen them in some ambiguous situation – tagged in a post, for example – with someone else, motivating them to search for more information.

“Furthermore, it is also quite possible that people see relationships today in a more casual way, possibly because of the hook-up culture created by mobile dating apps.”

The research, based on a survey of 2,000 Britons, found that more than half of those who snooped on their partner discovered something that led them to believe they had cheated, with 45% of them deciding to end the relationship as a result.

However, participants failed to agree on how to define cheating, with almost six in 10 indicating that sexting should be considered as such.

One in nine said that they believe kisses at the end of a text message constituted betrayal, while 6% said that simply liking somebody else’s post on social media was an indication that their partner was being unfaithful.

“In a world where our lives are increasingly lived online, checking a partner’s phone, email or social media without their permission is surprisingly common,” said Denise Knowles, a counsellor at relationship support charity, Relate.

“It’s understandably tempting, but this doesn’t make it okay.

“Take a breath – imagine you uncover something concerning and ask, ‘is this really how I want to find out?’.

“Think about what’s best for the relationship in the longer-term: once your partner knows you’ve been snooping it will only erode trust further.”

What do you think? Is it ever okay to snoop on your partner’s device, or should our phones be completely separate? Have you ever snooped through the device of a loved one? 

 

 

Is it ever okay to snoop on your partner's device?

345 people have already voted, what's your opinion? Yes No

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CalgarySurfer
3 days ago
1
Thanks for voting!
In any relationship communication is key, and these are after all, communication devices. So the key here is to have a mutual agreement with your partner that you can both have access to each others devices whenever either of you feel that you would like to know something.

So long as it's not a classified government secret, I don't see the problem. The real problem is the mere fact that one or both partners feel that they need to "snoop" in the first place, which implies doing it behind their back.

After that starts happening, you're lives have become split. Be up-front and honest. My partner and I call it "keeping the table clean". Little things add up over time to a big mess. Don't let it happen to you.
pamflower
27th May 2019
0
Thanks for voting!
Phones to me are private things. I would not want anyone snooping on mine, though I have nothing to hide. When my ex was two-timing me, I had 3 opportunities to snoop on his phone, but I could not bring myself to do it. He did once press his mobile by mistake in his shirt pocket and I listened in for about 10 minutes whilst he just met the witch and I was able to hear everything. I was fuming.
Onecott
22nd May 2019
0
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In some circumstances yes, (ie, strong suspicions & changed behaviour )I think so.
But not as a matter of course
Nannamaz 1st
25th Apr 2019
4
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If your relationship is solid and you trust your partner then you have no reason to "SNOOP" on your partners device. If you don't t have trust there is no relationship.
HappyHippie
25th Apr 2019
3
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if there is no trust between you and your partner then there is no real relationship
Evie7
25th Apr 2019
2
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Yes it’s absolutely ok, I had taken my partner back after he cheated, but the signs were still there, I checked his ‘spare mobile’ and the evidence hit me squarely in the face. I threw him out there and then.
Soxxjenks
25th Apr 2019
3
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If you and your partner trust each other implicitly then there is nothing to hide from each other. My husband and I very often answer each others phones for texts, email or calls. And answer!
NickiP
25th Apr 2019
4
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10 years ago my husband (who never really used his mobile phone much) started getting frequent text messages. One message which arrived when he’d left the phone on the dining table where I was sitting, read “I love you “. When I tackled him about it, he claimed that it must have been sent to him by mistake. A bit more delving revealed that he had been having an affair (which he was planning on keeping a secret until our two sons had finished school). I threw him out & 10 years on he is still with his mistress & has two young children. I met a lovely new man and I am happier than ever. I’m glad that I read the text message - I think he secretly hoped that I would see it so that he didn’t have to tell me himself.
Evie7
25th Apr 2019
3
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I’m certain my ex did the same, men can be such cowards, so pleased you’re with a lovely man now
Felix1
21st Apr 2019
2
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just be aware that you may not like what you see.
MrsPat
19th Apr 2019
3
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There is nothing on my husbands phone as he doesn't know how to use it. He is a techno dinosaur.
viking
19th Apr 2019
3
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Good on him !! Her indoors has a all singing and dancing phone, which really has to be heard to appreciate some of her swear words which I did not know that she knew about. The icons seem to switch around on a daily basis, and noises from the device really are amazing. Mr Pat we should meet up and commiserate together !!!
Retiredyorkie
20th Apr 2019
2
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Brilliant - like most males - never reads the instructions
viking
16th Apr 2019
4
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No secrets= no problems with snooping !!
More likely to be snooped upon by a hacker here !!
nsurf1
13th Apr 2019
4
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Not something I would be inclined to do but if I had reason to feel suspicious I would. I'm sure there are quite a few people who could have prevented several wasted years if they had found out sooner.
Wilf
8th Apr 2019
3
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No no no no no! Its not done anyway we know everything about each other the whole time so no secrets at all.
Unicorn2
5th Apr 2019
4
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If you suspect your partner of being unfaithful I feel you should try and find out as much as possible
jeanmark
6th Apr 2019
4
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Why not try asking instead of snooping?
jeaniembe
5th Apr 2019
4
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Not something I could ever envisage myself doing. Anyway if a party is that untrustworthy, time to show them the door.
Jackie Ovington
5th Apr 2019
3
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Alicia
5th Apr 2019
2
Thanks for voting!
No, they should not have anything to hide.
marpo2
5th Apr 2019
4
Thanks for voting!
The Green-eyed monster's tentacles reach far and wide. If you see something that you believe to be one thing, that is actually another, all manner of trouble can ensue. Be disciplined and honest - leave her/his devices to their own devices.
VenaB
5th Apr 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
Only in very worrying or exceptional circumstances but otherwise NO!
Lionel
4th Apr 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
Not a very principled thing to do, is it?

My wife knows she's quite safe from my intruding into her privacy. My knowledge of mobile phones is a minus factor. I have one, somewhere, can switch it on and ... zilch. The battery is so often flat through lack of use, I'm told.

Give me an Apple computer to sort out and I'm right at home.
Yodama
4th Apr 2019
3
Thanks for voting!
Not a good thing to do,..degrading!
SueB412
3rd Apr 2019
4
Thanks for voting!
Snooping on a partners device is much the same as opening their mail or secretly listening in on a telephone conversation. To me it's a huge invasion of trust

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