Santa’s Call Centre

By Claire Baldry Dec 5, 2014

This amusing, seasonal poem was written by Claire Baldry ….

Santa’s Call Centre

It’s time to contact Santa

At his frozen Arctic home

To send my list for Christmas

I thought I’d use the phone

“Hello, the North Pole speaking,

We would like to speak to you,

The line is very busy,

So we’ve put you in a queue

Your call is so important

That you now can make a choice,

Hang up and ring next year,

Or stay listening to my voice

If you want standard delivery

By three reindeer that is fine,

To request the fast sleigh service,

Please redial the premium line

For refunds send an email

[email protected]

Put the reference of your chimney,

And say who the mail is from

Now press 1 if you’ve been naughty,

Press key 2 if you’ve been good,

We do hope you won’t mind waiting,

We’d be grateful if you would

You can hear some Christmas music,

While you hold the phone and wait,

We aim to deal with all our calls

By 2028”

About the author

Claire Baldry

1032 Up Votes

Claire is a retired Headteacher who lives on the East Sussex coast. Claire is an established speaker, performance poet and writer. She has a strong following on You Tube and has been listed in the top 100 Poetry Rivals National Competition. Claire has published five booklets of poetry which have sold hundreds of copies. 'Simply Bexhill' was published in early June 2014, and 'Simply Christmas' in November 2014. Her third publication is a series of narrative poems entitled 'The De La Warr Date'. She more recently published 'Seaside and Sailaway', which includes a section of poems about holidays on cruise ships, and Simply Modern Life. Claire has published two full-length novels, the first called 'Different Genes'. and more recently 'My Daughter's Wedding'. Both are romantic stories about love in later life, combined with a gripping mystery. The books can be purchased through bookshops, Amazon or borrowed from any local library. Links can be found at ww.w.clairebaldry.com .Claire and her husband were awarded the SE Diabetes UK Inspire Award in 2017 for innovative ways of fundraising.