What the papers say

What the papers say

It’s a worry waking up each day
I fear for what the news might say
For on it drones same old, same old,
And now we’re in lockdown,
If we’ve symptoms of a cold

First there was Brexit
That exhausted our ears
Politicians arguing
Not calming our fears
I feel so sorry for the Queen
For oh what family dramas
has our dear monarch seen?

Randy Andy,
Such a disgrace
We’ve watched that grin
Wiped off his face
And then she sees
Her beloved grandson Harry
Quit royal duties
Because of the woman he did marry

Megxit Megxit
In search of more fame
She didn’t understand
That being a royal is not a game
For you just can’t flounce
Straight in then straight out
That will cause the U.K. public
To boo and shout

For we have brand Beckham
That’s quite enough
Oh the price of fame
When the media gets tough
But alas that’s tittle-tattle
Compared to this
There’s not a single bulletin
We dare to miss

And who would have thought
Ruling the world,
Two blonde bombshells
With straight hair not curled,
Trump and Boris what a pair
And what unfortunate looks they equally share,
But trust we must, in these elected men
promises will come to fruition
But I just wonder when?

But it looks like parliament
Is about to close down
For fear of the virus
Is heading up to town
And oh my goodness
What would we do
If our wonderful Government
Can’t debate policies new
Oh what would the papers say
The U.K. shuts down, a permanent holiday!

Tune in to the telly
Turn on the wireless
The world’s gone hysterical
With the dreaded Coronavirus,
Can’t kiss your friends, can’t shake hands,
Holidays cancelling to far off foreign lands

And in the supermarkets
The shelves are now empty
With gross panic buying
When actually there’s still plenty
But the greatest shock I think of all
There is no loo roll paper left at all
Oh what drama, oh what farces
At least we still have newspaper
To wipe our arses!!!

I dread the news with fear and hate,
I’m off to the Caribbean to self-isolate.
For life is for living
We need to have fun
And after our terrible winter
I desperately need sun

About the author

Lily747
1063 Up Votes
Retired BA air hostess, mother of three gorgeous grown-up children, and I now run a little shop in Lymington called The Dressing Room. I have always loved writing amusing poems - usually for friends but today I have taken the plunge and shared my writing here! Always looking on the bright side of life and seeing the funny side of everything I believe that laughter is the best medicine!

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granmabones
13th Mar 2020
0
Thanks for voting!
Oh so true Lily really enjoyed reading it
CaroleB947
10th Mar 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
0
Thanks for voting!
Yes you have got it 🙂 Good poem
Kes
7th Mar 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Spot on Lily. That was such fun.
Mumhodge
7th Mar 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Brilliant we all need something to make us smile right now
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
JuliaS7
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Wonderful Lily - so enjoyed reading your poem - sums a lot up in ‘one poem’ and brought a smile to my face.
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Thank you Julia,there will be more on their way.
JuliaS7
7th Mar 2020
0
Thanks for voting!
MrsPat
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
What a wonderful poem Lily-you must write more, please.
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Thank you, Im working on the next on right now.
Gwen45
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
love your poem Lily
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Thank you Gwen,I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
ElaineL79
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Loved this a bit of humour, amidst, all the doom and gloom.
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
I just can't bare all this negativity, so any thing to find something amusing amongst all this dismal press!
granmabones
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Brilliant poem made me smile but oh so true
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
farquikeswick
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
I said the same about the loo paper!!! Live love laugh
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
And wipe away our problems!
3
Thanks for voting!
What talent you have Lesley! Love your poem and it is so apt ... I have just shared it on our Facebook page and I am sure it will go viral ... excuse the pun!! 😀
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Thank you Sally. Love,Love,writing silly poems about just about everything,trying to find the brighter side of life!
Linthom
7th Mar 2020
4
Thanks for voting!
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
JeanW24
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Hit the nail right on the head your poem was exactly how it is thank you
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
My pleasure Jean,there will be more!
Munsterlander
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Amazing poem-you need to write a book.
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Well funnily enough I've probably just about got enough poems to publish a book. I'm so pleased you liked it.
Wilf
7th Mar 2020
3
Thanks for voting!
Very very funny and so apt!-The worlds gone mad.
Lily747
7th Mar 2020
2
Thanks for voting!
Hasn't it just Wilf!
Wilf
7th Mar 2020
1
Thanks for voting!
Maybe its always been mad Lily-its just with the internet there are more ways to see it!

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