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Is it ever acceptable for a man to be unfaithful to his wife?

Edward Fox, a three-time Bafta winner who starred in The Day of the Jackal and Seventies series Edward & Mrs Simpson is likely to incur the wrath of women everywhere for his unconventional comments.

He has claimed that women should accept their partners will be unfaithful because men have a primal “need” to play the field.

The 78-year-old, who is married to actress Joanna David in 2004, but have been together for 45 years, suggested that women should understand this inherent urge and tolerate it to allow them freedom.

He added: “Because of that essential difference, women should be more understanding if their partner cheats — but it is very difficult for all women to be tolerant and patient and understanding.”

So what do you think?  Have you ever been unfaithful in a marriage, or been cheated on?  Is it acceptable for a man to be unfaithful to his wife? Although men and women have many differences, is men’s ‘primal’ need an acceptable reason to play the field?

Is it ever acceptable for a man to be unfaithful to his wife?

329 people have already voted, what's your opinion? Yes No

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Dogsb0dy
11th Jul 2017
0
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Why bother entering into a marriage if he wants to play the field? Total disregard for his marriage vows and his wife's feelings. Totally selfish and if you have a cheater get rid pronto. They don't change.
Yodama
15th Dec 2016
0
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It is simple, don't get married in the first place, if your primal urge is so strong that you need a multitude of women, don't make promises to "forsake all others".
If you do vow to love and honour in sickness and in health, forsaking all others till death do you part. You should at least try to be honourable.
Capricorn
10th Aug 2016
0
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I have already commented ?
Capricorn
10th Aug 2016
2
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We take vows when we get married and should keep to them .
iestynlad
13th May 2016
0
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Are you going to ask the reverse question? Is it ever acceptable for a woman etc
I was too late to vote but follow the majority view because it breaks the marriage vows and entails deceit.
mickigirl
20th Apr 2016
4
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The issue here is Trust. Once that's gone, it is almost impossible to regain it. Living in a relationship where the trust is gone is a horrible experience.
celtwitch
6th Apr 2016
-1
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Life is too short to waste time dancing with ugly men, and certainly too short to spend a lifetime with one!
We are individuals and not designed to be confined to one claustrophobic relationship, we need variety and excitement, not matching cardigans, cups of tea and Gardeners World.
Spread your wings, fly like an eagle, don't sit on your perch like a parrot with clipped wings.
iestynlad
14th May 2016
0
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Was he always ugly? Why choose to marry him then? People just can't be swapped for newer models like broken toys. Discarded like rubbish.
jeanmark
6th Apr 2016
3
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That may be what you want but there are some of us who haven't had to dance with ugly men and are happy to spend a lifetime with one man (or woman). As you stated we are individuals and some of us choose not to flit from one meaningless relationship to another believing that's the way we were 'designed'.
Speeednet
3rd Apr 2016
2
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I have not made a study of this but from observation, it is my opinion that when a man gets caught cheating on his wife or partner, it's because he wants to. Most men are chickens and will put up with stuff in the home that they don't like and sometimes can't stand so as not to rock the status quo. Whilst it is my observation that once a woman is unhappy or dissatisfied she will just take off. Clearly there are financial restraints also that may keep a partner in the house and children very often are a reason but in my experience nobody that is truly happy at home cheats on their partner, so I think the issue is a little more complex than just a man needing to spread his seeds.
iestynlad
14th May 2016
0
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Agreed. We should be stopping men from "spreading their seeds" - we are overpopulated!
elisabeth
2nd Apr 2016
1
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Making a commitment and promise means just that
crazy sue
1st Apr 2016
4
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If a man no longer loves his wife he should leave her and divorce her.
Barbara58
1st Apr 2016
6
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I've seen, and been on the receiving end of. serious and serial adultery.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
The misery is desperately sad and the pain enormous, so much so in my case that I stopped dating more than a decade ago and, unless I meet Liam Neeson (who would fall in love with me in a breath), I shall continue as a single but happy spinster.
So choose your partner wisely!
Fruitcake13
1st Apr 2016
2
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I feel for you, Barbara58, as I have been through the same thing. Was married for over 25 years, stuck with it despite the serial adultery, but eventually couldn't take any more of it. Leopards and spots come to mind! Been happily single for 15 years now and thoroughly enjoying it. Not short of male friends, but also happy to date if a man piques my interest!
Sandy 58
27th Mar 2016
6
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I always wondered why people are not honest and leave a relationship if they are unhappy rather than have all the lies and betrayals. Then it happened to me and I realised that my partner wasn't willing to move on until he was sure he had secured his new nest. He was not taking the chance of being left on his own. What really surprises me is that the women or men involved in affairs can ever trust each other
moorland10
26th Mar 2016
5
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Sorry, but no. Tried but wasted 9 years of my life and caused hurt and upset to my children. Once the trust has gone there's no turning back.
suepeel04
26th Mar 2016
0
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Each circumstance is different and whilst unacceptable, one has to accept that this happens. If the couple can find a way to understand why it occurred and the wounded partner can forgive, then to save a normally happy marriage, would in my opinion, be preferable.
celtwitch
24th Mar 2016
-5
Thanks for voting!
We are not designed to be 'faithful' that's something reserved for dogs, not humans.
I read somewhere that we are emotionally and psychologically programmed to be happy with a partner for about 4 years, after which time we start to look for something new.
How two people can tolerate each other for decades is beyond me, just think of the fun and excitement that is available outside of marriage that goes untapped.
I always feel so sorry for people who say, quite proudly, 'we've been married for 50 years.'
rudgy
31st Mar 2016
5
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It me who feels sorry for you .What a sort of life is it going from one relationship to another ,and as for fun and excitement out side marriage oh dear ,so shallow.
And yes I am proud to say I have been married 50 years ,I have a wonderful family that's all the excitement we need .
jeanmark
25th Mar 2016
3
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And I feel sorry for people who believe they can never be happy with one partner. Interestingly a number of animals other than humans remain with one partner throughout their lives or have you not read that. I am happy to have been married for nearly 40 years and you don't need to feel sorry for me. Although I had fun and excitement before I married ( I didn't marry young) I've had even more fun and excitement with my husband. As humans we evolved (and were not designed) and as individuals find happiness in our own way which may be with one partner, with many or even without a partner.
Pussk2
24th Mar 2016
3
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No but then neither is a wife cheating on her husband acceptable. If you need to do that then there is a problem. Either sort it out or get out of that relationship.
plumbs
22nd Mar 2016
4
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This has happened to me my X husband decided he wanted more it was so hurtful as we had been married 25 years my kids were hurt but me and the kids at the time pulled together and are now inseparable I stayed single for 10 years got my self together met my now husband and things are good my son and daughter call him dad and are happy for me so in my case things worked out
lizfid3
22nd Mar 2016
7
Thanks for voting!
If either partner feels the need to play the field then get out of the marriage first. The hurt caused by an unfaithful spouse runs very deep and is not easy to get over. Destroy trust and that relationship is ashes. Marriage vows seem to be just meaningless words nowadays so why bother getting married at all?
sammydarlo
22nd Mar 2016
2
Thanks for voting!
It's not something i have ever really thought about, but having seen the question, i think there are good reasons for both sides of the argument.

Equally, there may be a medical condition that can prevent a man having sex with his wife- the obvious one is sexual dysfunction, but again illness and such like can affect men just as it does women and prevent the husband from having sex with his wife, so it may be her than needs to fulfil her desires.

Its not a plain and simple black and white answer as many of you seem to have expressed your opinions based on a normal health and marriage situation. Admitedly Mr Fox has put the case badly, and made it seem more like the need to sow his seed than anything else without even contemplating any other possible reason, but at 78 you have got to have some give and take for his mental functionality.

Some people do have very open marriages and go off with new lovers- both men and women, and some men and some women are bi-sexual and can have a partner of the same sex!!- but still return home to their own "nest" because they love their partner, their husband/wife and sex is just that sex, it is a different kettle of fish to making love as in the marriage concept, and if they are happy with that, well thats up to them (it's not my choice of lifestyle just to make it clear lol).

So there is in my opinion two sides to every argument and you should try to view the question from all sides, not just your own perspective and especially not if you are still youngish and healthy.



Somebody said no its a sin. Is it? in some societies and religions men have much more than ONE wife, all marriages are legal- IN THAT SOCIETY- so what are the thoughts on that? A man sleeps with one wife one night and a different wife the next- which one is he being unfaithful to? Supposing he has 3 or even 4 wives? all legal marriages which which is he betraying? his first wife? or all of them with each other? Is it still a sin, even though it is allowed in that culture or that religion? who or what defines it as a sin?

Food for thought ladies. Food for thought! (oh and i still can't make my mind up which side of the fence i'm on, so sitting right on the fence, just throwing out a few ideas. )
Molliemook
27th Mar 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I disagree you marry for life one partner, as for different cultures that's their way of living. And if the sexual point you made if you love that person you will find a way of other ways of sexual pleasures, and you stay true to each other if that is not the case be truthful and leave without lies and deceit as I was taught Honesty is the best policy
jeanmark
22nd Mar 2016
1
Thanks for voting!
I agree there are always two sides to an argument and peoples opinion may be influenced by their experience but I think in the context of this discussion it was Edward Fox's comment that sparked the debate and in respect of a society that, in law, permits only one wife at a time. However, like you I'm not sure it's a sin more a betrayal of trust.
jillypoo
21st Mar 2016
7
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If you want to do that stay single.
Lionel
23rd Mar 2016
1
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jeanmark
21st Mar 2016
3
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We are in the 21st century and men should have evolved sufficiently to overcome their primal needs. If both partners are happy with an 'open' marriage/partnership then that's their decision, but to imply men have a primal need to 'play the field' only makes him look incredible weak. There are a lot of good men (and women) out there who are able to resist temptation and remain faithful to their partners.
kathy8259
21st Mar 2016
8
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No way!! Never acceptable!!
Alicia
21st Mar 2016
5
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Munsterlander
21st Mar 2016
6
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No I don't think it is. If you turn the question around and say is it ok for a woman to be unfaithful to her husband I think 99% of males would say no. Maybe Edward Fox has gone mad??? Or maybe he thinks its ok. Has he asked his wife what she thinks I wonder?
JohnHerb
21st Mar 2016
-7
Thanks for voting!
I guess its what his wife is like? Is she is not nice and they are not getting on then yes I suppose it is ok? Also some people have strange relationships and both parties may endorse a more relaxed marriage.
jeanmark
21st Mar 2016
3
Thanks for voting!
If she's not nice! If that is the case, why stick with her?
Munsterlander
10th May 2016
0
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Yes I agree with you if you dont get on in a marriage then time to leave but do not mess about

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