Ernies Care Home

Ernie, in his eighties, was admitted to a care home some years ago. He had for those many years talked about his sexual desires not being met or encouraged and most people thought it to be a joke.

He was a very pleasant mannered man and very easy going. Always sympathetic towards the staff and helpful when he could be with the residents.  He was an eighty nine year old, still talking about his lack of sexual activity, so when his ninetieth Birthday came along, the staff got together to try to arrange something they thought he would really appreciate. One ingenious member of staff suggested that they hire a ‘strippagram’ lady, to give him a thrill on his big day and this quickly became an established idea.  A Senior staff member, contacted a lady who advertised locally and the scene was set. 

On his big day, Ernie was conveniently sat at a table, across from the main door of the dining room, where his party was being held. As his Birthday cake was being brought around and the wine and sherry distributed, the music started and Ernie looked up to see where it was coming from, only to see a scantily clad woman crossing the floor towards him. She moved quickly to where Ernie was sat and pranced sexily round him, for a few minutes, until the music stopped. She looked him straight in the eyes and he very loudly asked ”What do you want”?….. She smiled a broad sexy smile and replied ”I’ve come to give you Supersexxxxxxxxx”!!!!

He paused for a few seconds then replied ” I think I’ll have the soup”. 

Michael J Hill Feb 1998.