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just letting off steam, hope you don't mind

I am new to this site, thank you for allowing me to join. I am just turned 57. I was advised to let off steam to stangers so here goes.

I am working as a care home manager, have done this work for 20 years. This year has been tough. My youngest son left home (empty nest syndrome), my best friend died of cancer and COVID hit our care homes.

A tough time to say the least. I feel ....well I don't know how I feel. sad, lonely, desperate at times and also proud that I have coped, that I have worked 11 hour days to keep my care home free from the virus.

Lockdown has taken its tole, people have suffered, folks have dedicated themselves. I am exhausted. I have had no time for myself. I am done.

Please don't think I am acting "OH woe is me" I really am not. I have just had a tough time and have opened up to someone who said to me if you can't speak to someone you know speak to a stranger it helps.

So I have done just that. Tomorrow I will return to work with a smile on my face and will be the proverble swan, gliding gracefully on the surface, paddling frantically below.

Thank you for allowing me to join your group, I am normally very positive and will be from now on.

Created By on 02/08/2020

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2 days ago
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No I tell people to speak about they problems I am 81 yrs old hubby is 90 and not much more time before he passes away will be a happy release for him me will be losing my right arm we been married 62 not always happy but compromises made on both sides and we live in our house 64 years I am lucky having a loving family and neighbours who if I want anything will get it for us so lucky
30th Aug 2020 14:16:10
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Louise you are more than justified in your rant, you are doing a difficult job under the circumstances. I realize that it is far from over with Positive Testing still above the 1,000 mark, it is not a good place to be in. Hopefully a vaccine will be forthcoming soon so that the likes of myself(with Parkinsons) can go out in the knowledge that we are safe from infection. Living in a holiday resort(Dawlish, Devon) we've had a lot of selfish people who haven't taken precautions by not bringing masks with them because they are on holiday and so us locals have been held prisoner in our own homes. They think that because they are on holiday that Covid isn't here, I can tell you that it is, I certainly wouldn't want to run the risk of catching it. Keep providing the excellent service that you are Louise and know that you are all hero's for battling through this pandemic. Take care and stay safe.

9th Aug 2020 08:13:52 (Last activity: 9th Aug 2020 11:15:11)
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Hi! Louise,

That’s funny.

No, not the stress you are under, that’s obviously isn’t funny. But the part where you wrote:

“... gliding gracefully on the surface, paddling frantically below. “

The image somehow suddenly caused me to let out a laughter because it is so true. Aren’t we all guilty of trying to look like we are in control when the reality we are all stressed.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 9th Aug 2020 10:09:54
Hi JohnWong,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from JohnWong made on 9th Aug 2020 11:15:11 > @Sally - Silversurfer's Editor
Hi! Sally,
Thank you.

I wasn’t planning to respond to Louise at first. I had planned to feel my way around first before posting anything. But Louise’s post really made me let out a laughter when it triggered an imagery of a swan, calm on the surface but paddling furiously below. Kind of like what I am doing too.
7th Aug 2020 08:45:15 (Last activity: 7th Aug 2020 09:11:39)
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Hi Louise,
A lot of people have found the past months challenging for all sorts of reasons. Just know that you are doing a great job. Hope you are feeling better today.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 7th Aug 2020 09:11:39
Hi JayneGrey,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

4th Aug 2020 17:24:51
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Hi Louise
Life seems to have been hard for you recently and it’s not surprising that you need to vent. I hope that you are feeling better having got it off your chest. Perhaps now you need to take some time out to do something for YOU even it is only for a short time each day. Got your hair done, have a pampering session, go out for a coffee or meal, go to the gym, go for a walk or whatever it is that makes you feel good. Or how about doing something silly at work - like a silly walk as John Cleese used to do, or get a Tickling Stick like Ken Dodd used. I am sure the residents and staff would enjoy that too!
Also make plans to do something in the future, like a holiday or short break, or what about a Spa weekend? I hope that you stay well and in the words or Sir Tom Moore “tomorrow will be a good day”.
3rd Aug 2020 18:32:50
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Hi Louise
Really good to talk to strangers but honestly you are fully justified to be having a rant try also thumping a pillow to get rid of your anger and frustration.
I have done both in the past when I was a support worker and I wasn't coping with Covid.
We know we should be positive but sometimes situations are overwhelming and just getting through each day is enough.
Try and book a break you need something to look forward to some time for yourself to relax and unwind.Take Care.
Midnight Caller
3rd Aug 2020 10:37:33
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Hi Louise,yes agree writing or rather talking to people you don't know,is a step forward,may I say thank you and all the dedicated people who really go the extra mile especially in care homes, both my mum and mum in law - sadly at end stage dementia are now both in care, especially with the lockdown to have peace of mind is paramount, but believe me the guilt you feel is overwhelming,I have also recently become a widow so life even when it goes back to near normal will never be the same.
I hope very much you have a smile on your face today and tomorrow,knowing you have given so much of yourself.

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