View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Hello - looking for like minded friends to chat with

Hey, just new to the group, I’m 50, female, and new to a town where I know no one... just looking for people to chat to


Created By on 07/09/2020

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

GingerA
11th Jan 2021 23:54:32 (Last activity: 20th Jan 2021 03:07:39)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi! I'm 66 years old, originally from Texas but have been living in New Mexico for the past three years and love it. COVID has really put a strain on my life. I'm normally very active with varied interests - cooking, crafting, writing, music, reading, and gardening. Would love to talk to anyone from anywhere about most anything. Love learning about new places and cultures. If you'd like to talk give a holler and I'll respond.
Response from Rayot made on 12th Jan 2021 14:24:26
Hello, GingerA.

I, like many people in the rest of the world, feel sympathy for sensible Americans at this time of embarrassment for you.

You had a real world leader in Obama and now you`re going to have another, but this time he wont be stymied by the Opposition.

Biden has such worldly knowledge and intellect. If ever there was a country that needed a president like Biden will be it is now.
Response from GingerA made on 13th Jan 2021 05:08:14 > @Rayot
I still can't believe Trump won the election in 2016. Everyone knew what he was. This is far from over. It's worse than an embarrassment, it has the feel of an impending civil war. It's such a joy hearing Biden speak. Finally a voice of calm reason in a storm of hate filled screams from the ignorant and corrupt. An elected official said it well, you can't fix stupid and there are over 70 million of them who are so proud of their idiocy and immorality and refuse to look at the truth. We will come out of it.
Response from Rayot made 2 days ago > @GingerA
I hear there are 20,000 soldiers guarding Capital House. More soldiers than in Afghanistan and Iran together ! We are told that the soldiers are being vetted because it is believed that some will still show loyalty to Trump. A BBC reporter commented that Trump`s wall has been built, but it`s around parliament not Mexico !!!

Yes, I agree many people fear that there will be more trouble tomorrow, but at least America has the beginning of some sensible leadership. Biden will help settle the Middle East crisis, re-join the Paris agreement, promote the Black Lives Matter movement and the Obamacare programme.
Response from GingerA made 1 days ago > @Rayot
Hope blooms! Senator Mitch Mcconnell is head of the GOP and he blasted Trump and the insurrectionists. Finally! It was a strategic power play but welcome all the same.
Mrchipps1
2 days ago
1
Thanks for voting!
i understand, take care and stay safe and well
mr chipps1

sometimes it is hard to navigate a computer site,
so then i get flustered and almost take flight
but normally i think hard and work things out,
instead of losing my rag and beginning to shout

so the moral is of my poem is to keep on trying
instead of your losing patience and crying
because when you have achieved what you need
you will end up feeling very pleased in deed

Mr Chipps the poet man
Mrchipps1
9th Jan 2021 11:30:04 (Last activity: 19th Jan 2021 14:14:51)
-1
Thanks for voting!
i have now been widowed longer than i was married, and because of ladies playing games,or having been abused and believing that all men are thugs and want to control ladies, or simply use them as chattles or concubine?

i have completely given up on finding new genuine lady friends to chat with and see if things developed
have other members been a victim to the same situation?
Response from Ariadne made on 14th Jan 2021 07:19:33
Hello. my situation is ,,that I respond to male and female members ,put my own chats in,, and I.m just ignored .So ,shall you and I give it a go ?
Response from Mrchipps1 made on 14th Jan 2021 10:51:10 > @Ariadne
Hi Ariadne
Thanks for your reply, sadly only you can decide what is the best thing to do, but you could always give it a go , and if you get replies then its a bonus, but if you don't, then nothing lost
I too have done the same as you, but I still keep trying

on another tack ,i have used many dating sites and met a couple of ladies, but sadly they have had unhappy past lives, with men and are so hurt or damaged that they believe that all men are the same,
I have also found that some dating site profiles are fake, for various reasons
which of course is not always true

Please feel free to chat with me, no strings attached, its a very lonely world out there on your own. i had been on my own over 25 years, and it does not get easier
take care Mr Chipps
Response from Ariadne made on 14th Jan 2021 16:59:44 > @Mrchipps1
Hello .again .I had to smile at your comments. Dating sites are not my scene ,,,,at all. I don't
want, or need a man in my life, I much prefer horses. I finally realised ,that I was either good at picking bad men ..or bad at picking good men . ,so I stopped,
It's a decider ,if you are lonely .... or alone .. Being alone is not a bad thing ,choices about
everything are all in your hands ,being lonely .is easily solved .I just go somewhere ,anywhere .and there is always someone who you can start a conversation with ..except today ,I am really in Lock down with snow ,masses of it. car was to have it's MOT but I
cancelled it when i looked out .
Don't know if you like poetry ,but there quite a few of mine on the literature bit ,,some of them should make you smile
I gather that you need a woman in your life ,probably a tad like rocking horse manure .
non existent . I enjoy talking to people . especially on here ,,I don't have to do anything ,,but talk
Response from Mrchipps1 made 6 days ago
Ariadne
thanks for your message about loneliness and the cure being in a persons own hands!!!
on this i have to disagree with you, because several times, i like you have gone out and spoken to people in cafes and parks etc, sometimes it was positive, but several other times have been negative and left me feeling like a leper, wishing that i had not bothered and stopped at home
i have also gone on coach holidays and been made to feel very unwelcome, and the more it happens, the more it makes a person feel bad?

i find that things can be worse with couples, who think that i am simply on the pull, like all single men
. i was once accused of that by a doctor of Sociology at university,
(she finished up being told she was a SEXIST BITCH) by the other university students in the group i was a member of. i know from experience that single women are more readily accepted than men are, for several reasons

you and i probably have very different circumstances in our lives, that have led to us being on our own.
it does not bother me ,that you compare horses to men and prefer horses, i personally dont like horse as i am afraid of them!
yes i love poetry and have also got some of my poems on the culture section of this site
my biggest success was to have 4 poems, about !organ donation" displayed in Cape town South Africa , for over 2 years. i stopped counting when iI reached over 2000 poems.

I have hobbies, but as a person i am a social animal and love company and meeting people, but after 25 years on my own, i still feel lonely and like company, either as companions or in a meaningful relationship

Best wishes Mr Chipps1
Response from Rayot made 6 days ago > @Ariadne
Hello, Ariadne.
I`m a fairly new member and a bit pathetic at finding my way around anything new. I replied to many of the posts, but have had only a few responses. I`ve also suggested several topics, but again with limited interest. Anyhow. Look. I`ve responded to you. Now it`s up to you.
Response from Rayot made 6 days ago > @Ariadne
Gosh, Ariadne, how can you not have a man in your life. I think women are wonderful. They just don`t reciprocate my admiration, or share my sense of humour. To remind you of sunshine it is beautiful here in the Algarve, Portugal.
Response from Mrchipps1 made 6 days ago > @Rayot
Hi Rayot,

i purposely didnt ask Adriana how she can live without a man in her life, because her comment made it plain that she sees men as being demeaning, inferior and less important than men?
i accept her decision and will leave it at that?
Response from Mrchipps1 made 6 days ago > @Rayot
Hi Rayo, i too sometimes find it hard to navigate my way around some web sites, but now that i started to get more self confident and build my self esteem, i don.t give in as easily as used to
I often wonder what the creators of some sites are thinking when they design them, probably that everyone is the same and sees and thinks as they do. when i create my poetry i do what my heart and mind tells me, and do not think of future readers needs lol
Response from Rayot made 2 days ago > @Mrchipps1
My response was a tongue-in-cheek message
chari
2 days ago (Last activity: 19th Jan 2021 14:11:54)
0
Thanks for voting!
how does teh chat thing work? I have managed to start a chat with one person but an sure it would be great if other people could join in
Response from Rayot made 2 days ago
Sorry, can`t help with "teh Chat" thing.
Robertthomas
3 days ago (Last activity: 18th Jan 2021 16:58:46)
0
Thanks for voting!
86 year old male looking for older folks to chat about the Good Ol" days or just about anything, sports, old movies, etc.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made 3 days ago
Hi Robertthomas,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

GingerA
5 days ago (Last activity: 16th Jan 2021 18:02:32)
1
Thanks for voting!
Saw the cutest meme on Facebook - a person had tried the free 2021 trial and wished to cancel their
subscription. That was right after the assault on D.C.. I love hearing Biden speak. It's such a comfort after the lunacy we've had the past four years. Stay tuned to the news on the twentieth. The FBI has issued warning that several assaults are being planned on state capitol buildings by the radical right wing to start a race war on inauguration day.
Response from chari made 5 days ago
radical right is the politest way I have heard them described. I applaud your restraint but still think of them as rabid myself
Response from GingerA made 5 days ago > @chari
Hahahaha!!! I can be nice right now but all hell is going to break loose on the 20th. Trump left some legacy - civil war.
AnneW61
27th Dec 2020 16:50:17 (Last activity: 16th Jan 2021 15:15:52)
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi, anyone who wants to chat feel free. I'm wondering just how people are coping with lockdown loneliness?
Response from RhoB made on 28th Dec 2020 17:13:40
Hi, Anne, I just joined......I'd love to chat with you.....My name is Rhonda
Response from RhoB made on 28th Dec 2020 17:15:33
Hi, Anne.....I'd love to chat......I'm brand new here......Rhonda
Response from AnneW61 made on 28th Dec 2020 18:44:45 > @RhoB
hi Rhonda cant chat just yet but will be on in around an hour around 8.30pm would love to chat then Anne
Response from Catlover59 made on 28th Dec 2020 19:17:56 > @AnneW61
Hi
I will be so glad when we are virus free, I am struggling with not being able to just nip to a coffee shop or for a browse around the shops. I feel like I am losing my independence, does that sound stupid. How is everyone else coping.
Response from AnneW61 made on 28th Dec 2020 20:12:52 > @Catlover59
yeah thats exactly how i felt like a prisoner in my own home
Response from AnneW61 made on 28th Dec 2020 20:13:56 > @AnneW61
hi Rhonda am back online now

how are you tonight
Response from FELINEFRIEND made on 29th Dec 2020 12:09:37 > @Catlover59
Hi catlover,I haven't been on this site for a very long time so please forgive me if I'm commenting in the wrong place,I'm a bit rusty at it.
I read on your first comment you have a kitten and a budgie, that's lovely.
We had a kitten a few weeks ago he's now 15 weeks old and due his second jab tomorrow.
We have 3 cats and 2 strays which I look after.
I also love gardening and visiting garden centres.
I've missed visiting flower shows this year due to Covid.
I live in Wes Midlands not far away from Cannock.
Hope to hear from you , have a good day from Ann
Response from Chloe62 made on 5th Jan 2021 23:02:03 > @Catlover59
Hi, just joined the group.I read your post and you wrote exactly how I am feeling coupled with the fact that colleges are also now on zoom which makes the situation quite lonely.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 5th Jan 2021 23:27:38 > @Chloe62
Hi Chloe62,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from GingerA made on 12th Jan 2021 00:06:56 > @Catlover59
I feel your pain. I live in a small but normally lively little town. Now everything is shut down. I've gained weight since the lockdown. Got on YouTube and found some good yoga videos. It helps my mental outlook but hasn't really done much for my waist and hips. Input is still more than output. Eating healthier weighs heavy on my mind but I'm not there yet - a work in progress. Looking for a new craft to learn. Have a suggestion? I'd love to hear it.
Response from GingerA made on 12th Jan 2021 00:26:39
Oh my goodness, is this a U.K. chat site? Can someone from the U.S. join in? I do not care to talk about politics. Oh lord, what a mess we have here! At any rate, I'd love to hear about all things U.K.. I know there is sanity elsewhere in the world and would love to hear about it.
Response from Ariadne made on 13th Jan 2021 10:47:46 > @GingerA
Hello Ginger ,I'm sure Sally (Owner of this site ) will tell you that it's not wall to wall Brits on here. . You are here ,So ,lets talk .conversation ,,meaning ,whatever comes into your head ,,write it down. I am a horse lover ,before anything else, closely followed by dogs ,Humans ,,,,,,somewhere on the end ,unless they have a sense of humour. The only way to get your hips under control is to try on the clothes that used to fit you ,that should work for starters.
Next ,,,is one you won't like , don't buy lots of food ,,and don't keep opening the fridge door .
clear out your cupboards of clothes you never wear, bag 'em up for the charity shop. ,all closed here at the moment , the weather is awful ,rain, tomorrow is supposedly going to snow ,,,,not too happy about that .my best pal MY CAR ,has to go for it;s M.O.T don't know if this is an English thing. , do you have to do it ? Fingers XXXX'd I live near to Chatsworth Park
Why don't you Google it ? I love to drive through ,and see the deer.
Response from Rayot made on 13th Jan 2021 15:13:18 > @FELINEFRIEND
My cat is 20 weeks old and she has just been sterilised. The vet gave her the necessary jab, but didn`t mention a second jab.
Response from GingerA made 5 days ago > @Ariadne
I did clean out the closet. I eat when I'm bored so I'm now looking at new hobbies and one that caught my eye is crafting scrap journals or junk journals. It looks like fun. I live in Tucumcari, New Mexico, and love this little town. The apartment where I live is on the outskirt of town so we get a lot of wild life passing through, mostly wild turkeys and coyotes. I love to hear the coyotes sing late at night. We have mountain lions (also called cougars) and brown bears. We have a wide assortment of owls and hawks. The one thing we really have to watch for are rattlesnakes. We have so many during the late spring and summer that the high school sports teams are called 'Tucumcari Rattlers'. In the fall we catch the migration of tarantulas. Scorpions are always an issue. I'm not too fond of spring, that's when tornados are likely to occur. Not sure what an MOT is but here in the states you have to take your car in for regular check ups and oil changes or it voids your warranty if it's a new car.
Response from chari made 5 days ago > @RhoB
i am around now if anyone wants to chat
GingerA
12th Jan 2021 01:02:08 (Last activity: 15th Jan 2021 23:20:12)
0
Thanks for voting!
Never mind about asking if this was a U.K. site. I see that it's not.
Response from Ariadne made on 13th Jan 2021 10:20:47
Hello ,does it matter where the site is located ?? All humans ,needing human interaction .
Response from Rayot made on 13th Jan 2021 10:33:48
GingerA, you are welcome.
Response from GingerA made 5 days ago > @Rayot
Thank you very much.
Mrchipps1
14th Jan 2021 10:40:09
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Ryhill
welcome to the group, you are very welcome to chat with me, it can be very lonely moving ans starting anew
GrayBeard67
14th Jan 2021 01:32:47
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi. I am new to the chat rooms myself and a new yorker transplant in pennsylvania.
baranof
13th Jan 2021 23:13:45 (Last activity: 13th Jan 2021 23:19:21)
0
Thanks for voting!
I'm in West Coast of USA and would be interested in chatting with those interested in sailing.At one time I belonged to the Old Gaffers Assoc. Really enjoyed learning about the old type sailboats still being used in Great Britain. Mine is 40 foot, steel double ender designed by Tom Colvin. Thank you.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Jan 2021 23:19:21
Hi baranof,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Rayot
13th Jan 2021 10:27:49
0
Thanks for voting!
Perhaps Hilary Clinton`s worried many Democrats and they voted for Trump.

Yes, I think you are right, there is going to be more trouble with Trump`s army. At risk of sounding spiteful, isn`t it wonderful that the PGA are turning their back on him.

Biden, like Johnson, has got the massive coronavirus quandary to deal with. The balance between the economy and the safety of the people.

Our right-wing prime minister is being forced to act like a socialist because the land slide of socialist seats is obliging him to think about keeping them.

Anyhow, we wish America a welcome back to democracy.
KT2
1st Jan 2021 19:24:47 (Last activity: 12th Jan 2021 00:41:16)
1
Thanks for voting!
HELLO TO ALL. I AM SEVENTY ONE YEARS YOUNG. LOVE LIFE AND LIVING IT. LOOKING FOR OTHERS WHO LOVE TO GARDEN, HIKE, COOK, FISH CAMP TRAVEL OR WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPIEST. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE MALE OR FEMALE I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HOBBIES AND WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THIS CHAT ROOM. I HAVE ONE CAT THAT I LOVE. MY JOJO BEAGLE PASSED AWAY NOV 19TH AT HOME. HE WAS THE BEST DOG IN THE WORLD AND I MISS HIM EVERYDAY. LEAVING TO VISIT MY BEST FRIEND NEXT WEEK THURSDAY AND WILL RETURN IN TWO WEEKS HEADING SOUTH FROM HER HOME AND VISITING FRIENDS IN NORTH CAROLINA AND HOPEFULLY GEORGIA. I SO HOPE TO HEAD TO FLORIDA SO I CAN WALK BAREFOOT ON THE BEACH. I LIVE ALONE IN THE COUNTRY AND FEEL BLESSED EVERYDAY. MY HEALTH IS VERY GOOD AND I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT WITH ANYONE THAT WOULD LIKE TO BECOME CHAT ROOM FRIENDS. EVERYONE IS WELCOME.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 2nd Jan 2021 08:32:37
Hi KT2,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from GingerA made on 12th Jan 2021 00:41:16
Hi! So sorry to hear about your dog. That's a hard thing, losing such a good friend. I have a senior cat and she's my best friend. I'm originally from Texas but have lived in New Mexico the past three years. I work at a friend's farm gardening and tending livestock during the spring, summer, and early fall. Love making goat cheese. I love hiking, fishing, gardening, crafting, and cooking. I'm looking for a new craft. There are so many to choose from. Do you have a favorite?
Rayot
2nd Jan 2021 12:54:29
0
Thanks for voting!
Please try me, Rhyll.
Craig2020
5th Dec 2020 03:26:38 (Last activity: 28th Dec 2020 19:21:25)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello,
I'm 68, retired, try to keep busy, lost my wife three years ago. Like to talk with woman, but still love my wife.
Response from CathieF made on 17th Dec 2020 01:01:34
Hi I'm new to this site but your name jumped out to me , my son is also Craig.
Response from Jeannius made on 18th Dec 2020 09:09:27
Hi Craig How are you? I am alone too. It's very quiet here and I don't know many people as I moved here recently.
Christmas can be lonely time, but I am happy to chat and it would be good to hear from you. Kind regards Jean
Response from RhoB made on 28th Dec 2020 17:14:49
Hi, Craig....I'm 67, widowed, as well....Love to chat with you...Rhonda
Response from Catlover59 made on 28th Dec 2020 19:21:25
Hi Craig
Sorry to hear of your loss.
These are very tough times at the moment and I think lots of people are feeling lonely and isolated; even though I spend time with my family I still feel lonely and isolated at times.
Would be nice to hear from you.
KnS
27th Dec 2020 07:52:03 (Last activity: 27th Dec 2020 16:52:40)
1
Thanks for voting!
I too am new to the group, being 80 male, and wondering what town I am in? Is there someone who would like to chat
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 27th Dec 2020 08:53:52
Hi KnS,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from AnneW61 made on 27th Dec 2020 16:52:40
Hi KnS, I am a 69 year old widow and am up for a chat today. I will log off now and hope to get a notification but will come back on in ten mins.

I was wondering what people were doing with lockdown loneliness?
Kathaleen1965
17th Dec 2020 20:19:57 (Last activity: 17th Dec 2020 22:52:01)
0
Thanks for voting!
Rural and friendless in Eastern Wa... I was too busy raising 6 kids with no family the last 30 years yto make many friends the ones I did are married and their mates are their friends... no one likes a 3rd wheel.... hoping to meet some possible new friends
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 17th Dec 2020 22:52:01
Hi Kathaleen1965,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

bluegreen
5th Dec 2020 02:46:49 (Last activity: 17th Dec 2020 00:59:11)
0
Thanks for voting!
Old lady here. Widow. Also transplant from NY/New England area. Now in metro Atlanta. I do watercolor painting and lots of crossword puzzles. My circles are shrinking and friends are precious. I also enjoy playing with words.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 5th Dec 2020 08:37:34
Hi bluegreen,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from CathieF made on 17th Dec 2020 00:59:11
hi there , I' m new to this site getting ready to retire and worried about isolation...Would love to hear more about your water colors... I have recently started...
Tom2020
16th Dec 2020 18:36:32
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Rhyll
I am also new in chat rooms. I am 52 and living in California, I would like to have meaningful conversation with you about common interests and anything fun.
Magista
12th Dec 2020 09:03:03 (Last activity: 12th Dec 2020 09:14:49)
0
Thanks for voting!
hi, I am also 68, and my beloved Allie passed 2 years ago, I have been out of the loop since then
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 12th Dec 2020 09:14:49
Hi Magista,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Page 1 of 3

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!