Hi Everyone. New here and was wondering where are all the 70+ folks?I see 50 year old people thinking they are old and I will be 70 this year and still feel middle-aged even if my body tells me different.I am a widow going on 14 years this year. Just would love some simple chat.
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Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat. Confidence is bringing the tartar sauce.
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Police have raided a factory producing thousands of counterfeit Kipling products. A Police spokesman said " They're exceedingly good fakes"
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Apparently somebody telephoned B&Q and said they wanted to go in and asked how big the queue was. The answer was "the same size as the 'B'"
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I’m sure there is a lot of good news out there but we just don’t hear it. Well I want to hear yours! :-) We haven’t got to this stage in our lives without hearing or BEING the amusing story. Yodama has even suggested that we tell about our most embarrassing moment. In my case it’s embarrassing moments!!If it’s funny or heartwarming then we want to hear it or if you have come across a RAK (random act of kindness) then PLEASE SHARE.....
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I’m sure there is a lot of good news out there but we just don’t hear it. Well I want to hear yours! :-) We haven’t got to this stage in our lives without hearing or BEING the amusing story. Yodama has even suggested that we tell about our most embarrassing moment. In my case it’s embarrassing moments!! If it’s funny or heartwarming then we want to hear it or if you have come across a RAK (random act of kindness) then PLEASE SHARE.....
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An 85-year-old man had to do a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained … "Well, doc, it's like this — first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. "She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbour? Good heavens!"The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open."
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RIP Diddyman.An absolute legend of comedy. When I watched 'AN EVENING WITH KEN DODD' on the TV many years ago I cried with laughter so much I must have missed 25% of the jokes. How lucky I was that I recorded it, and laughed just as much when I watched the recording at later dates.I saw him 'LIVE' a few years ago. He was still hilarious and not a blasphemy to be heard in any jokes. As I said....... A TRUE LEGEND OF COMEDY
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Anyone got any good Christmas funnies? Here's one to kick things off.CHRISTMAS GREETINGS - APPROVED BY "LEGAL" Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for a socially responsible, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, together with a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2018, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
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