Problems with People
2 Posts Last Activity 17/01/2020
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I have a lot of problems with people. 1) Extended family, mum and sisters = are all very nasty and ignore me. They have now all cut each other off and i'm isolated from them. 2) I have been bullied out of 2 jobs in the past 3) I found that I was suddenly widowed 15 months ago and I really loved my husband with my heart and soul 4) I needed a job after my husband's death and managed to get one. This was great because I needed to pay bills etc 5) Not long after starting my job a man my age started flirting with me - interrupting my work. I found I liked him. He is a very secretive man and people advised me to find out more about him. He turned out to have never been married and he knew all about me. However, he didn't like it that I had found out things about him. He told our boss that I had been finding out all about him and our boss called me into her office and gave me a warning. My boss also added other incidents- e.g a woman at work being angry with me because she couldn't do a project she wanted to do and blamed me. This woman had been into my boss to complain that I was a liar. My boss brought up 5 things and was hinting that I should go. I just burst into tears and left. 4 of the things were cited by the man who fancied me and the other was from this woman colleague. I don't go out of my way to upset anyone - I'm cheerful and try to support people. When I go to work I keep my home life away from work despite having 5 deaths last year - two of which were my beloved husband and also my father. My dad died a year ago today and no-one at work knows. So, when my boss had a go at me today it hit me hard. My question is difficult to answer really because you don't know me as a person. I have been told that I am too nice and caring by mental health experts and that is why I get targeted by people. My question is: Am I the one at fault at work? I didn't invite my male colleagues attention and I did not even try to sabotage my female colleagues project. These are facts. Somehow, they blame me and they have both tried to get me the sack with my boss today. Please I need some help to understand why I end up in this mess and what should I do?
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Online dating dos and don'ts
2 Posts Last Activity 05/02/2020
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Some things to look out for if you want to try online dating. Remember, these sites are businesses, there to make money, not to find you love. I have tried several, all the same, even the so-called free ones, will want you to pay to access members. Okay, so you take the leap and wow, you get loads of hits on your profile, messages too. You answer, but get few replies...why? Because many of them are fake profiles. this could make you disillusioned, worse than what you were.. I am a male, 68 and considered okay, I do not have 2 heads, so thought someone may be interested...anyway. the warnings..guys and ladies,if you see a username with a number such as "honeybun12345" its a dodgy one, from members usually in Eastern Europe, who will want you to give them your personal email or direct you to another site, they want your bank details, avoid. Don't confuse this with a genuine member who puts their date of birth after their name such as "sue220954". The crooks put numbers with the usernames, to keep tracks of their input profiles. also, avoid all messages saying "hey there" same crooks. Guys - if the ladies look as if they have just appeared in a glossy mag, they probably have fake pics. ladies, if the guy falls in love with you after a few chats, ask yourself, are you really that irresistible? Don't be taken in, that he is in the US military and moves about, don't send money for their sick kids or for airfare, so he can come to visit you. common sense, yes, but we all need to believe and it's easy to think people are as honest as ourselves. Good luck. Forgive any typing mistakes, have my damaged right hand in a splint at the mo.
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Divorce and moving on
1 Posts Last Activity 01/11/2019
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Hi there. This is my first post on silversurfers, So it's a bit hard to put into words, I'm 67 and in the process of going through a divorce after been married for 48 years . I'm starting to look around on getting a place of my own not sure if I could afford a rented flat or something like that, I know other people are probably are in similar situations as I am and it tuff. So moving away from this house we've been in for 32 years is going to be a very big wrench, I'm a Catholic and my faith has helped so much to move forward. I think so much of others in this similar situation and my heart goes out to you all. Keep positive have a good think about life and what's going to be good for you and your family. It would be interesting if anyone else are going through a similar situation as I am for advice on moving either close by or move further afield thankyou for taking the time to read this. God Bless. Clive..
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Good men?
2 Posts Last Activity 14/11/2019
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I lost my husband 4 years ago in a car crash. I actually wasn't pressured to get back and date again. Lately, I feel the need to be loved and be with a man. Are there still good men out there or I should just forget about dating again, kindly advice?
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Worried about husband!
5 Posts Last Activity 15/08/2019
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I've been feeling a little anxious about my husband lately. We've been together for 20 yrs and married for 17 of them. No kids at home, and we both work full time. I feel like we're drifting apart, and I'm experiencing bouts of sadness due to this. Firstly my husband lost his sex drive. Initially, I didn't know why, but after some prompting, he told me one of his testicles had become swollen, and that he was worried. Long story but I convinced him to visit his doctor, He had a few tests, and it was the diagnosis was a Varicocele. Not life threatening and has since had this fixed a couple of months ago. Our sex life is still non-existent. My husband tells me he hasn't had any libido for months and that it will probably not return. I sense a loss of intimacy in our r/ship. He seems ok with it. We have slept separately for probably 3 yrs due to husbands snoring keeping me awake. We don't mind sleeping separately tbh so this isn't an issue as per se, but it also means we don't have cuddle time anymore, which makes me feel like I am living with a friend. Our days off together are ok, but no brilliant. My husband goes inside himself a lot, reading newspapers, watching tv etc and I am becoming increasingly lonely. I don't feel like I am a needy type person, but our marriage seems very weird now. Please if anyone has any suggestions or you've been through a similar experience, I'd love to hear your thoughts. TIA
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My husband watches porn
10 Posts Last Activity 22/06/2019
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My husband watches porn, he thinks in secret but I often find out. I know it’s normal but what hurts is that he doesn’t come near me, not even for a cuddle or a hug. When he does hug me he tends to pat me on the back. A couple of years ago I found he’d been trawling dating sites but offering sex not relationships. I don’t think he actually ‘signed up’ but he was looking at lots of them, including one showing only woman over 50. I’m 56! I feel so worthless and unimportant.
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Dating After Bereavement
14 Posts Last Activity 17/10/2019
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I would be interested to see what other people think about dating after a bereavement. Should I even consider dating again, or would that be disloyal to my late partner? I know someone who started dating less than six months after her husband died, and I know other people who never dated again.
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Dating After Losing Partner
4 Posts Last Activity 11/03/2019
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I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts on dating again after losing a spouse. I lost my partner over a year ago. I am very lonely, but in two minds as to whether I should date again. Even thinking about it makes me feel guilty. I am 58.
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On Line dating for the over 60s
3 Posts Last Activity 30/05/2019
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Published author beginning a new project, a dating expose, or how to get the best from this relatively new medium? Tips and tricks, what to watch out for, personal successes. If you have a story to tell then let me know.
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Grieving
13 Posts Last Activity 24/01/2020
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Life is so hard since I lost my husband - does anyone else feel the same?
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