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A place to discuss relationships. Maintaining them, nurturing them, and knowing when to let go. If you are looking for, or looking to give, relationship advice - or just looking for someone to talk to about relationships - get in here.
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Over 20 years ago I met a lady and her husband on a coach trip to Austria. We enjoyed each others company and stayed in touch albeit only with Christmas cards and a letter catching up on all our news. Fast forward 17 years and she is now widowed and had moved about 20 miles away from where I live. We started exchanging phone calls and meeting up for meals and long chats about how our lives were shaping up.
She met someone on a dating website and they were going to get married, then it was all called off for quite a few reasons - he didn't think that he should have to make any financial contribution to the bills in her house, where he was living, because his pension was smaller than hers. Also, he has a huge family who didn't want to meet my friend as they thought that their father/sibling should remain faithful to his first wife who had died.
My friend asked for my opinion about this man - I met him twice and there was just something about him that I didn't trust. I said that the financial aspect of the relationship would be an absolute deal-breaker for me and that perhaps she had had a lucky escape. Another 18 months passed by - still meeting up every 6 weeks or so for meals with phone calls in between, the last meal just before Christmas. I sent her two emails, January and February and got no response and have left messages on her answerphone - again no response.
So, my question is - why do people do this? We hadn't argued about anything and, on the surface, everything was normal. She has obviously taken her bat and ball home about something but after a friendship of 20 or more years, wouldn't it have been more honest to say that our friendship had run its course and that perhaps we should just keep in touch occasionally and let things peter out that way. Perhaps she has gone back to the chap she was engaged to and thinks that I won't approve. It's actually none of my business just as long as she is happy and he's not taking advantage of her generous nature.
Who knows - I certainly don't!!!
The man = single - no girlfriend, in 60's, at work he finds me as soon as I arrive. He then finds me throughout the day. He has found out loads about me and shows a great deal of interest in me. He is an intensely private man and lives on his own.
He remembers everything I tell him and he talks about me a lot. He says I make him nervous - he is a little shy.
Me= widow in my 60's- like this man. He was in a really angry mood one day and I didn't realise. I asked him out and he said "I don't think so".
Since this he has carried on asking about me and seeking me out at work. Recently, he asked whether I still visit my husband's grave which I thought was odd. He is so private that he doesn't always answer questions people ask him but we know he is definitely single, no GF, not gay, and lives alone.
He seems to have had a very bad life via his mum/dad/siblings. What is this man up to? He constantly looks out for me and my safety. I like him but I am confused.
Is he just playing silly games?
I could do with some good, friendly advice.
Hello everyone, Yes I am feeling alone, I have been a Parent a Single Parent and a Step-Parent, wow you say, well yes.
I married, and we had a child, then after the second child my wife died leaving me with two children one aged 5 months the other 14 months old, we survived until my girls were about 4 and 5 and I met and got married to another single parent whose girls were aged 12 and 14.
We were together for about 25 years and we are now separated on friendly terms, but both living very different lives.
I live in a one bedroomed flat and feel very lonely at the moment, I know that this Covid-19 does not help my situation but it's like this all the time, virus or no virus, I still talk to my daughters and we Facetime each other often as we still have that special bond, and they are not happy that I am on my own.
I am finding it very difficult to go out to meet someone as I don't feel good enough or good looking enough to make someone else happy. I have registered on Silversurfing dating but I really don't feel that it is as good as it says it is, and feel that there are a number of Sharks just waiting for me to fall into those waters and be eaten alive, so any advice would help.
Thank you in advance.
I have a lot of problems with people. 1) Extended family, mum and sisters = are all very nasty and ignore me. They have now all cut each other off and i'm isolated from them. 2) I have been bullied out of 2 jobs in the past 3) I found that I was suddenly widowed 15 months ago and I really loved my husband with my heart and soul 4) I needed a job after my husband's death and managed to get one. This was great because I needed to pay bills etc 5)
Not long after starting my job a man my age started flirting with me - interrupting my work. I found I liked him. He is a very secretive man and people advised me to find out more about him. He turned out to have never been married and he knew all about me. However, he didn't like it that I had found out things about him. He told our boss that I had been finding out all about him and our boss called me into her office and gave me a warning. My boss also added other incidents- e.g a woman at work being angry with me because she couldn't do a project she wanted to do and blamed me. This woman had been into my boss to complain that I was a liar. My boss brought up 5 things and was hinting that I should go. I just burst into tears and left. 4 of the things were cited by the man who fancied me and the other was from this woman colleague. I don't go out of my way to upset anyone - I'm cheerful and try to support people. When I go to work I keep my home life away from work despite having 5 deaths last year - two of which were my beloved husband and also my father. My dad died a year ago today and no-one at work knows. So, when my boss had a go at me today it hit me hard.
My question is difficult to answer really because you don't know me as a person. I have been told that I am too nice and caring by mental health experts and that is why I get targeted by people.
My question is: Am I the one at fault at work? I didn't invite my male colleagues attention and I did not even try to sabotage my female colleagues project. These are facts. Somehow, they blame me and they have both tried to get me the sack with my boss today. Please I need some help to understand why I end up in this mess and what should I do?
Hi there. This is my first post on silversurfers, So it's a bit hard to put into words, I'm 67 and in the process of going through a divorce after been married for 48 years .
I'm starting to look around on getting a place of my own not sure if I could afford a rented flat or something like that, I know other people are probably are in similar situations as I am and it tuff. So moving away from this house we've been in for 32 years is going to be a very big wrench, I'm a Catholic and my faith has helped so much to move forward.
I think so much of others in this similar situation and my heart goes out to you all. Keep positive have a good think about life and what's going to be good for you and your family. It would be interesting if anyone else are going through a similar situation as I am for advice on moving either close by or move further afield thankyou for taking the time to read this. God Bless. Clive..
Hi anyone out there. Has anyone used the Silversurfers dating site recently? If so I would be interested to hear from you about your experiences, as I have just paid up for 3 months. Here's hoping I get some replies lol
My new partner has been widowed for six years after a short (second) marriage. Her first marriage was ended sixteen years earlier in divorce in a potentially violent situation. I am having trouble living up to the expectations created by her second husband. She keeps photos of him all over the place and even gets up at night to look at them. I am feeling somewhat left out and am thinking of ending the connection. I would rather not bur can see no option at the moment.