When feelings and needs are not equal
3 Posts Last Activity 13/02/2017View
I am really fortunate to be in great health and good shape at age 66, with no prescriptions needed. My wife, on the other hand, suffers from fibromyalgia ( a hard to pin down, but recognized problem that causes generalized pain and discomfort) and has a number of prescriptions. We are great companions and share many good times, good meals and laughs together. We have been married nine years now and her pain levels are worse than they were at first by far. All this leaves the intimacy level of our relationship at a very low level. My desire for intimacy is still quite high; hers is nearly non-existence. I don't expect any revelations to come from this post, but wonder is there are others here that deal with problems like this.
Added By : JamesRain
4 Posts Last Activity 11/01/2017View
My new partner has been widowed for six years after a short (second) marriage. Her first marriage was ended sixteen years earlier in divorce in a potentially violent situation. I am having trouble living up to the expectations created by her second husband. She keeps photos of him all over the place and even gets up at night to look at them. I am feeling somewhat left out and am thinking of ending the connection. I would rather not bur can see no option at the moment.
Added By : orchardlane
You are only as happy as your unhappiest child
3 Posts Last Activity 26/12/2016View
I once heard someone saying this and it really struck a chord with me. Obviously my family are adults, but if any of them are going through a difficult patch then they are on mind constantly. I'm a smiley, cheery person on the outside, but on the inside I feel sad for them and can't feel as happy as I would be. I'm just too sensitive at times. Anyone here the same?
Added By : paisley pattern
30 Posts Last Activity 25/01/2017View
Can I ask am I the only person who feels incredibly lonely at times but am too scared to trust anybody? I had a couple of people asking me where I am etc. I said "sorry I am not on here to private chat" Afterwards I felt so rude. I have arrangements to go out & always cancel at the last minute. I would to hear if others feel like me. Thank you
Added By : Jazzy27
6 Posts Last Activity 28/11/2016View
Hi all, I am new here, looking for someone who has been/is in a similar situation to myself currently. After being married for 37 years and thinking I was heading into retirement with my husband, he suddenly announces he has been seeing another woman and is leaving me. It is early days at the mo, he has moved out (been about six weeks now) and is renting somewhere else, but not living with her, albeit he is still seeing her and seems to be getting on with life. He keeps sending me texts asking if we are definitely over (yes, it's over, there is no way back from this, he has lied to me too much recently. Has anyone been through this and can tell me it gets easier, I feel so abandoned, I know I don't want him back, but I didn't expect to be on my own at this time of life (I still have a daughter living at home, she is nearly 20 and she is great company) but I don't sleep easy in my own home and spend most of the night worrying about being alone. One part of me wants to start all over again and be brave, but then I have a wobbly moment when I just feel so hurt and alone.
Added By : Birdie McBirdface
The Green eyed monster ...
3 Posts Last Activity 20/10/2016View
Jealousy can destroy a relationship so knowing how to deal with it is vital. When you are in a relationship and know each other fairly well it is impossible to hide when you feel an attraction to someone else. If you are in a healthy relationship I think you should be open and honest about it, even make a joke out of it. If you ignore or deny it then it can destroy you both. Why do we get jealous? At the root of it we are all hard-wired to be protective of our relationships and anything that threatens to lure our partner away brings out the primal instinct to destroy it. This is partly protective and not a bad thing but there is another side to jealousy that stems from our own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. That's the dangerous one. If someone else finds my partner attractive then I take it as a compliment and if it makes my partner feel flattered then that's alright too ... the only answer is to handle the situation as a couple with total honesty. Any little hurt feelings are nothing compared to what can happen if the Green Eyed Monster is left in charge. What are your views?
Added By : Greyson
Being Single but enjoy female company
4 Posts Last Activity 13/09/2016View
I am 69, but have met many females over the years , more since I got involved with the past Saga Zone, I also use there dating bit although its expensive try to concentrate on those with a 10 to 15 mile easy to get to, I do not drive , but enjoy travel as well.
Added By : 12michael
Unusual Birthday Ideas for a 53 year old man?
4 Posts Last Activity 23/08/2016View
Every year I usually manage to come up with an unusual present for my husband - but for some reason this year I am really struggling to find something. He drives Jags, loves Sci-Fi and has read endless books, enjoys cooking. I know there are loads of things I could buy - but trying to think "out of the box"...I have done all the cookery courses, aston martin drive day - surprise weekends away, glider day - any new ideas? Would appreciate any sensible suggestions!
Added By : sukiesue
Single for a reason?
22 Posts Last Activity 29/10/2016View
I'm new to the 'SS' community, so here goes and I can only hope I get this right. I've been on my own for 15 years and my children have now disappeared into the horizon / deep blue yonder / parallel universe....call it what you will. Empty nest syndrome came, went, returned, left again, lingers like a bad smell and part of me dies inside each time I open my mind to it, so I try to let my thoughts of warm family suppers drift away like I do when pretending to meditate in the 'zone'. (Meditation and mindfulness are the 'in' pastimes and yoga usurps aerobics thank goodness. Jane Fonda has allegedly had a couple of hip replacements you know and I was an avid follower back in the day. Mmmm......better make that appointed with a rheumatologist now.) Truth is...I doubt I will ever be able to let go of this void I feel on a daily basis, but it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. Life has thrown more curve balls than an automatic tennis-ball machine. A mechanism I've ducked and dived over the years although suffered a few injuries like we all do. I never thought a zillion years during my younger life, that I'd end up a Single Surfer now. I had this extremely idealistic picture of myself and significant other, sitting in a beautifully manicured garden with our chilled wine, welcoming our family back on a Sunday for lunch. Life just didn't turn out like that and now like Cinderella left behind while everyone else goes to the ball, I'm in a much smaller garden holding a cuppa in one hand and a brochure in the other wandering where I can endure another dinner for one while ticking my bucket grail. I'm quite gregarious by nature although at times I have to remind myself of that, because over the past decade, I seem to have lost soooo many friends and life as I thought I would know it. Not to illness or death, they have simply moved on. Mostly like Noah's boat guests, in pairs and leaving me to behind. I became the loser in a game of musical chairs. I was too busy to notice while my children were still driving me nuts at home, but now.....wow.....SOS!!! Bridget Jones....you have nothing on me! I'm topic mixing....ha.....that makes me sound like a DJ.....go girl goanna mix it up....but retirement has also become elusive. I assumed a few years ago as quite a number of us did, by the time I reached 60, I may just be able to stretch my State Pension, if I continued to work on a part-time basis. Nope, those scallywags at Lords decided we baby-booming women needed to be put in our place so they aligned us to our male counterparts. My savings and plans were once again thrown into turmoil and it would appear I may have to work until I'm 66, or looking at the grass from the other side!!! None of those prospects enthrall I have to say. So plan T (I've exhausted A-S), keep any serious travelling to a minimum until later....and only tick destinations off that are of paramount importance. So....if anyone out there would like to meet up in Rome for a weekend of laughter please let me know as I'm desperate to see the Sistine Chapel, eat a pizza that doesn't have 'Express' in the title and admire the views. :)
Added By : KirstyB
Love - what on earth is it?
21 Posts Last Activity 15/10/2016View
I have to hold up my hand and admit to never having found love, and I have certainly never been 'in love' so I'm perhaps not best placed to make judgements on something so subjective. I had a number of 'lusty' relationships in the distant past, and more than one partner uttered the words, 'I love you' but I didn't ever feel the need to reciprocate. Are lusty, physical relationships the same as 'love' I wonder, and can we live happy productive lives without ever feeling the need for love?
Added By : celtwitch
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