Hi all, My Mother In Law, is 94 yrs old and lives independently alone.
She is becoming more and more frail and has just had another fall,having had a few other falls in the last 6 mths. She was rushed to hospital yesterday after my sister in law discovered her on the floor hallway. She has now got a fractured hip and is being operated on today. I am married to her son, and she also has two daughters. We all live close by,but all work full time too so don't visit that often.
We're now wondering what's best for her. Personally (Having worked in aged care myself a few yrs ago) that she needs a residential home type setting, as its now apparent she can't really stay where she is. My MIL however will not discuss it.
She wants to remain where she is, and I understand that totally. I just don't think its feasible for her or safe. She had a bad fall last September, the day after our daughter's wedding (She didn't attend, too frail). We had planned a busy day too, packing etc for a trip away for 2 weeks, and chores around the house, but instead spent the whole day at her house waiting for the paramedics, then following the ambulance to the hospital, and we never got home until very late that night.
We are on holiday right now (About to go away) and last night got the call from SIL to say Mum had been found on the floor and was now in hospital. SIL had taken her recently to be assessed mobility wise, and my MIL got to the appt, to then refuse to be seen. Probably scared the professionals would say she was incapable of staying living where she is.
I'm wondering though, at what point do we intervene and can we? I feel the MIL has the onslaught of Dementia (Becoming forgetful,keeps going back in time thinking its the present time etc). When she returns from hospital,she will no doubt be living back in her own home,but we will of course worry sick that something untoward will happen again. A neighbour recently found my MIL outside at night,just wearing her pj's.
It's very sad. Can we speak to someone about this?
When does it get to a point where elderly people are actually admitted into a residential home/nursing home?
It seems to be an impossible topic, one that can only upset if broached by a son or daughter. But when is the right time to move somewhere where there is likely to be more care? I received a brochure recently from Mickle Hill retirement village in Pickering, Yorkshire - looks really nice. But what is it actually like to live there? How can I sensitively talk to my parents about the possibility of moving there?
We are discussing our end-of-life options in the family. Our parents are elderly and unwilling to do so, the three of us (their children, all retired) are far more pragmatic.
We all believe that 'knowing' what to do when we need to will help. Any advice how to deal with this challenge please?
Anyone had to get a lifeline pendant for a parent/vulnerable person? My 81 yr old father has started to have falls, lives on his own and recently took 10 minutes to get back on his feet. Seems like a monitored lifeline pendant is a good idea but I'd welcome other peoples experiences or suggestions.
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Can anyone help or give me advise please on where do I start by looking into moving my Mum to my home town? She is in a different county to me so not sure if I can go through my local council or is it Social Services I really dont know? The bungalow she is living in is owned by my Brother - long story but for financial reasons my Dad (who passed away 8 years ago) agreed to let my brother buy it. She is a very independant 83 year old still "with it" and still drives, but after a recent fall I really would like her to live near me. She wants her independance still so not a nursing home a retirement complex with a warden but where she still has her own "front door" as she puts it. Can anybody help or give me any direction where I start please? Thank you Michelle