My husband and I have two children, a son and a daughter whom we both dearly love, yet our hearts have been broken by our daughter's harsh treatment towards us over the past five years. People have said to us: "Sometimes as parents we can do too much", yet for us nothing has ever been too much where doing the best for our children was concerned. Neither my husband, nor I can really understand exactly why our daughter behaved the way she did the last time I visited her and our 18 month old granddaughter in December 2015. We had though felt for a long time prior to their marriage that her husband and his family were intent on monopolizing. Nevertheless, we accepted albeit sometimes reluctantly the situation continuing to make him feel welcome and supporting them - particularly when his mother passed away a few years later. I was hopeful that our relationship might be strengthened with him in the ensuing years. Regrettably, he seemed to be resentful of the fact that I especially was around when our granddaughter was born in the ensuing year.
The following summer they spent two weeks with us at our home in France; he maintained a noticeable distance (constantly tapping out messages to his family and friends on his mobile phone) and we observed how stressed our daughter seemed at times. Nevertheless, apart from that it was an enjoyable fortnight and lovely to have time with our granddaughter. A few weeks later we returned to the UK for our granddaughter's first birthday, and instantly we sensed an atmosphere on arriving at their home. He neither welcomed us, nor conversed with us the whole time we were there and our daughter showed us little regard. Our journey there had been delayed by heavy traffic that day, and we arrived 40 mins later although our daughter had said that the first two hours were for a toddlers party with a BBQ for adults and close family later.
We returned to France a few days later, and then it was me always contacting my daughter and her responding briefly to my messages. I had for sometime been suffering with a bowel condition and finally decided to seek medical advice when I returned to the UK. This I did in the December, when my GP hastily referred me for an urgent colonoscopy. I decided not to tell the children until I had the results, and up to the date of the investigation I had heard nothing from our daughter. Fortunately, the result was not as bad as it might have been and by the following weekend I was so happy to have been asked by my daughter to "come and see her mum". Our granddaughter had been unwell with Slap Cheek Syndrome symptoms that previous week, so I went to see her and our daughter the next day. I was in shock by her aggression towards me and her father soon after arriving - her accusations were completely unjustified and her attitude was such that it was clearly frightening our granddaughter who began to cry. I decided it was best to leave. As I did so, she threw back at me the bag of gifts we had brought back from France for our granddaughter.
Since then, we have neither seen nor heard anything from her. Birthday, Christmas and Easter cards and egg have never been acknowledged. Mothering Sundays , she always used to remember me and send cards and gifts but since that day she has not. Our son is thoughtful, and was always generous with cards and presents for his parents. Yet, over the past two years he has changed. Now, it is apparent that he acts under the influence of our daughter in law where the giving of gifts is concerned. Our generosity is not reciprocated in a way that shows their appreciation of all we do for them - babysitting our grandsons for many hours each week, and at weekends. Giving them as much as we can afford to in clothes and outings throughout the year, and helping them at holiday times.
Tomorrow, is Mothering Sunday ... perhaps I am being unreasonable to expect more in the way of thoughtfulness from our children. My son is ill now with the flu, and is dashing out to buy two cards for me tomorrow. I appreciate the effort he is making now, but it always seems a last minute race for him in this regard, and why when there are two of them. My daughter in law always writes on the card so why could she not have bought one when I babysat for an additional hour and a half so she could do a weekly shop alone earlier this week. Just saying, or perhaps I shouldn't!!
I am 67 and live in the Midlands, my daughter is 45 and lives outside London. My sister is 55 and lives 3 minutes walk away from my mother. I live approx 20 miles from my mother. My sister has not spoken to my mother for approximately 15 years. My younger brother aged 62 recently died. Two weeks before my brother's death my daughter 'popped' up by train to see my sister. My mother was due to visit my brother that day. My brother in law visited my mother to tell her that my daughter and sister were visiting my brother and that my mother couldn't go. My mother is 88, physically very frail and my brother's illness and death has made her fragile and confused. What upsets me is that my daughter did not visit her grandmother on that day. This probably sounds like some terrible rant but during the time after my brother's death my daughter texted me once to see if I was ok and then only left a voicemail to inform me that she would be attending the funeral to support my sister. I phoned my daughter only to be told some insincere psycho babble about my grieving. I would also mention that my daughter never visits me but that I have to drive and visit her if she needs a babysitter. I love my daughter dearly but am ashamed of her and disappointed in her. Her behaviour and attitude have bowled me over and I am extremely hurt and upset. I don't think I can ever speak to her again, Am I being unreasonable?
The much awaited Taylor report on the gig ecomomy wants to end the payment of cash to builders window cleaners etc. This misses the point even if this money is not declared it still finds its way into the general economy and is taxed via VAT, unlike Amazon, Starbucks and the like who shelter vast profits offshore for the benefit of their business and shareholders. Wake up people!
What are your views?
Yesterday our granddaughter came to visit us, not a normal thing, but. She came to tell us she was going to get married, nice news, and she chatted about the wedding and what she was looking forward to. To cut a long story short she then asked for a contribution of £2,000 toward the cost of the wedding, I went ballistic, I tried to explain you married for love -- not to show off. Her response was it was a girls big day and everyone should help ,,,,,,, now her aunt with the big wedding had been married twice, her other aunt with a big wedding had been married twice, her mother who had had big weddings had been married four times, her grandmother and I who got married in register office nearly 55 years ago were still together. She left crying that we did not love her enough. Maybe one day she might understand that we loved more than she knew. Am I being unreasonable?
I have developed staining to my ceiling and know it is affecting my walls and even my fridge and microwave has been discoloured internally together with a new Coffee Maker bought for me as a Christmas present. The black covering will not come off. I live in a one bed supervised Housing bungalow and have been here just under 6 months since my wife left me. The staining started about three months ago just on the ceiling and repairers originally thought it was damp. After a meeting with them on Thursday this week they one suggested my nebuliser and two the burning of candles. I occasionally burn only Yankee candles as I prefer these but cannot afford them being disabled and a small pension having to stop working in 2011 through increased ill health. I know Yankee candles can smoke if the wick is too long and I have ensured that this has never happened by cutting the wick in accordance with the instructions given. The damage has affected every room, that is the Kitchen and Living Room which are combined, Wet Room, Bedroom and small Hallway leading from the front door. The Housing Association Repairs are now saying it is my responsibility. I have asked them to carry out sampling but I will have to pay £750.00 plus VAT. I was hoping that someone may have come across this situation and help me in showing the Housing Association as to if this is the case. May I say that I have only burnt a candle in the combined Kitchen and Living Room. I hope someone can help as it is affecting my breathing and enhancing other conditions.
Has anyone else noticed that nowadays when ever you go some where for a tea or coffee no one seems to be talking any more, it's heads down and looking at the screen in their hand. Being on my own I like gong into cafes and used to smile at people and sometimes start a conversation about the weather or what was good to order, but now not many people seem interested in this sort of thing, they seem to be more intent on the little screen. My phone is usually in my bag, where it stays, until it rings, am I the odd one out for wanting to engage in a chat??
During a conversation with a new member of staff I was utterly shocked when she told me that she and a friend work as private home helps for rich elderly people. They charge the clients £20/£25 per hour each that is they both attend and charge £40/£50 per hour. I think this is outrageous and wonder whether to report them but who would I report to? BTW these home helps are in their mid 50's!
Last night we popped into our neighbours for a drink. They had put some humous and carrots and breadsticks out for us to enjoy ... and then to my horror, I saw the host dip his breadstick, take a bite, and then dip it again!!
Is it just me, or do you find double dipping repulsive? Fine if the food is just for you, but what about when it is to be shared by others??
My stomach just turned and I continued to enjoy my glass of wine, and declined the offer of the humous!