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News from aound the U.K, ( The two Ronnies style )

Sad news at the Nestle factory in Scotland today.... A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "the Milky Bars are on me".... everyone ignored him !


A man who was jailed last year for selling millions of pounds worth of defective building materials to the Government, escaped from Wormwood Scrubs Prison today,... when the front of the building....fell off !


A government incentive to encourage young couples to buy their own building sites will be launched today, with the slogan Get "Lots" while you're young ! .... ( I know I did )


A new product out today, is The Welsh Boomerang, apparently it doesn't come back, !... it just sings about Coming back!


Unfortunate news just in from the West Midlands, A mammoth food mixer has reportedly gone out of control at a food processing plant in Walsall,... the entire factory has now gone into liquidation!


Mr Osbert Grove, described as Britain's worst ever Postman, delivered a petition against his wrongful dismissal today ,.. to the Queen,.. at 15 Station St Scunthorpe !


A lady Clairvoyant from Carshalton, was granted a divorce on the grounds of her husbands adultery, next weekend, in Brighton?


And finally - the prime minister has said that the state of the British Economy was in no way connected with the arrest this morning on a Dover beach, of a large group of illegal immigrants who were trying to leave the country!


Well that's all the news around this morning,... if you hear of any,.. please put it on here!


Created By on 03/11/2016

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