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Lonely and vulnerable and looking to chat

I’m alone, I have no family support or friends.


I’m sad to think that I have two neighbours both know that I’m alone and disabled yet not one of them has even put a note through my door to ask if I’m ok , what happened to community support!!


Has Scotland just decided to look after number one??


I would appreciate it if I just had someone to talk to 😢


Created By on 26/03/2020

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cathy321
27th Mar 2020 10:29:18 (Last activity: 4th Aug 2020 04:54:55)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Kiara,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe your neighbours don't realise that you don't have anyone who can help you. I'm guessing that they are just very scared about this situation and trying to figure out the many problems this will have thrown up for them. There are many volunteers who are offering to help people in your situation. Perhaps you would be able to get in touch with a local group who would be able to assist you and make sure that you are getting regular supplies of food and medicines. Also, could you check to see if anyone has set up a WhatsApp group in your area to help people get what they need. I too live alone and nobody has put a not through my door asking if I need help. I'm assuming that they either just haven't thought that I might need help or they know that I have family and, so far, am in reasonable health.
Response from Lillyreese made on 4th Aug 2020 04:54:55
Hi Cathy, i very much agree with all you said. It seems to me that the neighbors absolutely don't realize that someone who needs to talk but has no one to talk with lives nearby. I suggest people should be more aware of and not being ignorant of the vicinity they live at and those living around them. I'll also advise that Kiara should therefore make the first move and hopefully see that most want to talk and mix up, just that they may be too occupied with other stuff and totally inattentive.
Trixzy
2nd Aug 2020 03:01:38
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello, I am from America! I’m sorry you are feeling alone! I suppose we all do at times. If you would like to talk, I’m listen!
Sunflower20
31st Jul 2020 09:50:23 (Last activity: 31st Jul 2020 10:03:42)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello there I find it so sad you have to go through this especially now in such uncertain times . I hope you are getting through without too many issues but loneliness is so debilitating . I have found Scotland so lovely and the people so friendly so it's sad to hear you are so alone ,especially being disabled . I work and carry out volunteering at my local hospital but when I can I will happily be in touch ,please remember you are not always alone .
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 31st Jul 2020 10:03:42
Hi Sunflower20,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

leeh1
30th Jul 2020 04:55:54
0
Thanks for voting!
I am so sorry your neighbors haven"t contacted you. I live in Wyoming USA and i'd love to correspond with you. We can share information about our lives and past if you'd like
Alain
18th Jul 2020 23:47:43 (Last activity: 30th Jul 2020 00:35:31)
1
Thanks for voting!
Errrrmmm I need to find out how to start a thread as I started by replying to the opening post by KiaraR but somehow the thread has gone off topic. Sorry. Tomorrow I will find out about Thread starting and Posting photos,
Alain
Response from SLB1964 made on 19th Jul 2020 17:54:09
At the top right of the page, there's an option to "add a new post of your own". 🙂
Response from JaneL59 made on 24th Jul 2020 23:50:45
I have just replied to KiaraR at the top of this page. Hope she finds it.
Response from Dinabob4 made on 30th Jul 2020 00:35:31 > @JaneL59
Hi Jane
That is a very nice reply to Kiara with some good tips. Others have been saying that we are not sure she checks in on the site now. The message remains at the beginning of the thread. All newer messages are then a little more difficult to find. In some cases you get an email to notify you of a reply. I think that is the idea.

It is a good idea to check on neighbours especially those on their own or elderly. I was worried about my elderly neighbour and because he didn't answer his phone I had to go and knock his door to check he was OK! He was, and I was glad I did.

Facebook can take up a bit of time. I am on there too. Are you?
Are you enjoying going out to work? I hope you enjoy your job.

I check in every few days too. You may or may not see this message. I did click on reply to Jane, so hopefully!
lunastar
26th Jul 2020 06:33:26 (Last activity: 30th Jul 2020 00:28:43)
0
Thanks for voting!
Has KiaraR been on thecsitecsince this was posted. I am new to this site and must say I find it confusing as there doesn't spoke ar to be real connection.I thought the user was to get to know people am I doing something wrong? Be glad of sone help,if I'm doing this incorrectly. Many thanks.
Response from Dinabob4 made on 30th Jul 2020 00:28:43
Hi Lunastar

In answer to your question I believe Kiara has not been on the site since March/April. I replied to Jam 1964 above about how I see the site to work. I am new too and joined just this month, The oldest date of the post appears at the beginning and stays there. It may be a good idea to set up new posts. There is a box - add a post of your own. Up to you of course.

It takes a little while to get used to how it works.

I hope you are well and find you can get used to the site.
How are you getting on with the lockdown?
[deleted]
29th Jul 2020 19:39:35 (Last activity: 30th Jul 2020 00:21:02)
0
Thanks for voting!
[deleted]
Response from Dinabob4 made on 30th Jul 2020 00:21:02
Hi Jam 1964 - I am quite new to the site as well. It looks like you have replied to a post from over 4 months ago that others also reply to, but there has been no other contact from Kiera since then. You have also replied to one from a year ago.

The way the site is set up is that the old posts appear at the beginning of a forum and stay there. All the newer posts are further away in the forum and sometimes a little more difficult to find.

One option is set up a new post on a similar subject. There is a new box - add a post of your own or you can carry on replying to people. It is a good idea to look if the date is quite recent. You can always give it a try either way.

There are many posts set up and sometimes not many replies and people seem to disappear. It may be because it is too difficult to find if you have any replies!! It maybe for many reasons or they start using the chat option instead.

I am happy to chat as lockdown has affected all of our lives and that is why I joined. I hope you find your way around soon. I check on here every few days at the moment.

Take care,
JaneL59
24th Jul 2020 23:47:45
1
Thanks for voting!
Hiya KiaraR
I'm so sorry you are so alone. I have no idea how you are feeling.
I do know that this is a wonderful site. You should also join Facebook and the various groups. .
Have you tried a hobby? Writing poetry, or short stories.
Put a note through your neighbour 's door and ask if they are ok..
I hope you find a true friend.
I visit this site when ever I can as I work full time and spend slot of time travelling to and from work hut I will answer any messages.
Take care
Jane
MerrillB
23rd Jul 2020 13:44:25
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi there. I have just recently joined so trying to find my way around. I have recently retired in the middle of the pandemic so find myself stuck. All my plans on hold for now. I am very to hear that you are alone and disabled with little help. I live in Surrey so a long way from you but if you ever want to chat I am here.
Upper
22nd Jul 2020 22:31:04 (Last activity: 22nd Jul 2020 23:06:39)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi I just joined, i'm just saying hello folks,

I'm retired, have time to talk, i'm interested in and filming garden wildlife i.e. hedgehogs, badgers, foxes, plus many domestic cats anything that moves in my garden during the night, but can talk about anything, I also like to joke,

Upper
Response from Kid made on 22nd Jul 2020 23:06:39
Hi upper I am fairly new to all of this too I'm sure you will soon get the hang of it I haven't been out for four months so have had plenty of time to watch the birds etc.I have a fox that comes most nights it's quite big too .There used to be hedgehogs but I haven't seen those for ages.Do you do any gardening? Keep safe kid
Sogovia
21st Jul 2020 19:23:40 (Last activity: 21st Jul 2020 19:32:07)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi. I've just joined. I have never been one for loneliness but I've started to in the last few years and i don't know how to cope with it. It's all very new for me but I've started to feel really left out. I'm not usually like this so I'm finding it hard. Well, that's me!!! Sogovia.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 21st Jul 2020 19:32:07
Hi Sogovia,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Alain
21st May 2020 16:49:44 (Last activity: 19th Jul 2020 12:18:42)
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi KiaraR.
I hope you get this message as I have only just joined silversurfers and not sure if it works.
It maybe that your neighbours are not ignoring you but are frightend of spreading the damn virus. It worries me a lot.

I think a lot of people are feeling lonely and vulnerable now. I know I am.
I too live alone and have been a prisoner in my tiny bungalow since 9th March. I miss having someone to talk to but I have lived alone for the last 9 years.so I am used to it mostly

First things first, are you getting food delivered and any medication you need.
Do you have a garden you can get out to.
Today for the first time I went out and sat in the sun in my tiny little garden which is so overgrown. Its nice to see the weeds growing and the birds chirping.

Wish I could help more

Ive just come in as my hair is so long now Im going to use one of those electric hair shavers. Trouble is its a dog one with individual combs for dfferent hair lengths, Do you think I should go for a Spaniel look or Jack Russel.

Do you read or like music. Ive just started reading again after a break of a couple of years or so. As for music I listen to my YouTube playlist and in my mind travel off to different places and times.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 21st May 2020 16:54:50
Hi Alain,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Response from The_bees_knees made on 22nd May 2020 09:29:48
Hello Alain,

I have just read your message and you seem such a caring and compassionate person as I was reading your post...but I had to tell you what a good laugh I have had this morning as I wasn't expecting the humour!

Firstly, it would appear your hair had grown in the time it had taken to enjoy the growth & birdsong in the garden.....then come the cutters & then I was 'howling' by the time you mention dog cutters ( I hope you have a gig....or perhaps a dog-grooming business at least....to own such a contraption!)
Now if you have curly hair...you could sport the latest architectural poodle-cut!

Thank you Alain for my morning quota of fun. It is important to have some sense of humour...times are dire and testing right now!

Enjoy you day..and your new 'do'
Response from Alain made on 23rd May 2020 11:18:43 > @The_bees_knees
Hello the bees knees,
I did cut my hair. I had to as it was so long I could have put it in a short pony tail or even more disturbingly bunches either side of my head.
I feel a lot better with it shorter despite feeling colder in the neck region.

I decided that I would poke my nose out of the front door yesterday. I’m lucky as my tiny bungalow is 1 of 9 in a little group.
There is a large communal garden so at 6.30 am I slipped on a pair of shorts and Tee shirt and went for a few laps walking round the garden. There was no one about and it was sunny and warm. It did feel good to be in "Outside World" again. and because its a private garden I wasn’t breaking curfew

I did meet one neighbour, and keeping a good distance apart, we discussed his plants in the garden as he said that "something" had been eating them.
Note to self. Make set of very large wooden Bear feet to make footprints into soil around his plants..

I’ve spent far too much time curled up on the sofa, eating things not good for me and watching Netflix,. so I need to get back in shape or at least some sort of shape.
Response from CaroB4 made on 17th Jul 2020 17:42:39 > @Alain
lol! How did the bear prints go Alain! Would love to know of the reaction!

I too have been at home alone throughout lockdown.....did wonder if I had the virus mid March as had sore throat, tickly cough and fatigue for two or three weeks. As a result stayed in and tried to rest more (garden on hold for a while!) but fear lack of exercise upset my legs - full of aches and pains...so now making myself walk round the village with the dogs...one at a time...as it is nice to get out for a while and never see many people anyway. Occasional trip to Click and Collect food is now a social event for me! Hang on in there all...it will hopefully get better soon......
Response from The_bees_knees made on 17th Jul 2020 19:45:10 > @CaroB4
Hello CaroB4,

Unfortunately our friend Alain is no longer on the site. We corresponded awhile and sadly he told me he had chosen to leave Silversurfers..
He said his 'goodbyes' on the 19th of June and you will see on his profile, there are no further posts after the above on the 23rd May,'20. He will be missed...for sure!

Just wanted to let you know...as it's a drag waiting for replies that mayn't be answered!

You however I see are new and I wish you well and "Welcome".

The_bees_knees
Response from Alain made on 18th Jul 2020 17:32:30 > @CaroB4
Hi CarolB4
Yes Bees was absolutely right. I had left the forum but left rapidly after making a fool of myself. I had left so quickly that I had not even deleted things or cancelled my account.
The only reason I came here today was after receiving notifications to my post. Plus Bees had sent me a Chat message which I was too frightened (cowardly) to read. If you chat with Bees she is very nice and caring but I didn’t realise it at the time.
Ive been in lockdown since 9 March. I did try going out in the communal garden but some of the other inmates that have homes here frighten me a little with their very loose idea of personal space.
Coincidentally I too became ill at the beginning and really thought I had the virus. I think it was stress related unless all this is the afterlife and I’m really dead. Or even worse and I’m in Limbo which means I’m going to have to spend eternity dancing under a stick. (Terry Pratchett)
Response from Alain made on 18th Jul 2020 17:36:30 > @CaroB4
Hi CarolB4
Yes Bees was absolutely right. I had left the forum but left rapidly after making a fool of myself. I had left so quickly that I had not even deleted things or cancelled my account.
The only reason I came here today was after receiving notifications to my post. Plus Bees had sent me a Chat message which I was too frightened (cowardly) to read. If you chat with Bees she is very nice and caring but I didn’t realise it at the time.
I’ve been in lockdown since 9 March. I did try going out in the communal garden but some of the other inmates that have homes here frighten me a little with their very loose idea of personal space.
Coincidentally I too became ill at the beginning and really thought I had the virus. I think it was stress related unless all this is the afterlife and I’m really dead. Or even worse and I’m in Limbo which means I’m going to have to spend eternity dancing under a stick. (Terry Pratchett)
Bye for now Alain
Response from Alain made on 18th Jul 2020 17:48:55 > @The_bees_knees
Ist post made in ages and I go and duplicate it

Last week I was on a phone conversation and wanted to make a note of a number the caller had for me on my mobile. Marched around lounge, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom searching for mobile keeping up a running commentary with the caller about not finding my mobile and how important it is to me as it runs my life.

Suddenly realised the mobile was next to my ear as I was using it to talk to the caller.
Response from The_bees_knees made on 18th Jul 2020 18:45:06 > @Alain
Nothing changes Alain!
(Haha!)

Have I ever told you that I have had luncheon with a certain Terry Pratchett ( in my role as School Librarian at King Arthur's School in Wincanton)
No,.. well it happened! 🙁

Just to notify you...as you need prompting...(It took over a month to find the last)...There is a 'chat' for you again...followed by another, to correct the first!
Response from The_bees_knees made on 18th Jul 2020 18:55:17 > @The_bees_knees
* 🙁 was meant to be a smiley face with a wink 😉 like so!
Response from SLB1964 made on 18th Jul 2020 22:07:03 > @Alain
Intrigued as to how you 'made a fool of yourself?'
Response from Alain made on 18th Jul 2020 22:54:02 > @SLB1964
It was caused by immense self doubt, totally misreading a situation. Being unused to the fact that there are some really genuine nice people out there and of course my own personal paranoia. All these things have come about through things that have happened in my life and my reactions to them.
Isn’t it weird that if you look back, even as far back to when you were very young it is possible to see how your character was starting to be shaped even then? I have in conversations referred to my mind as a wooden cabinet with lots of drawers with thoughts and memories tucked away. Some small drawers, others deeper and harder to pull out to see what’s inside because when you closed them you hoped never to open them again. That’s of course if you want to look inside again. Some of those drawers when you open them make that terrible “skritching” noise like running your nails like a black board causing your teeth to go on edge as you remember the bad uncomfortable things.
Response from Alain made on 18th Jul 2020 23:04:03 > @The_bees_knees
Hi Bees
Wow. The Master. Some people think the Discworld books are childish nonsense, I love them. He created a whole world that is totally weird but wonderful. Pure escapism for me.
I have read your latest chat and will reply soon as.
Response from SLB1964 made on 19th Jul 2020 12:18:42 > @Alain
Thanks for clearing that up. Not sure things are any clearer, but am sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was 🙂
SLB1964
18th Jul 2020 22:02:20
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi KiaraR


I was trying to work my way through this thread to see if you'd added any further comments or updates since the end of March. Was wondering how you are and how things are going with you now?
CaroB4
17th Jul 2020 17:54:31 (Last activity: 17th Jul 2020 23:25:58)
0
Thanks for voting!
If you are awake at 4 am tune in to LBC if you can...Steve Allen is often on then and he always makes me laugh! I wish he was on at a better hour as the lack of sleep is exacerbated due to staying awake longer to listen to him! 🙂
Ch 732 on TV if you can't get him on radio (I can't) Just a thought!
Response from Kid made on 17th Jul 2020 23:25:58
Hello caroB4 Just flicking through posts and saw yours I too listen to Steve Allen . He makes me laugh with all his funny stories and his hanging baskets. Never come across anybody else who listens to him I listen nearly every day and yes it is a really early time but worth it . How long have you been listening nice to chat kid
CaroB4
17th Jul 2020 17:33:20
0
Thanks for voting!
It's not just in Scotland Kiara! Same where I am too! How are things going for you now?
I have dogs to talk to...and it does help! Take care!
country lady
4th Jul 2020 04:55:56 (Last activity: 4th Jul 2020 07:11:18)
0
Thanks for voting!
what would u like to talk about. do u have a hibby?
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 4th Jul 2020 07:11:18
Hi country lady,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

lunastar
30th Jun 2020 06:18:00 (Last activity: 30th Jun 2020 07:56:35)
0
Thanks for voting!
I think that a lot of people just look after themselves now, perhaps your neighbours do not realise how low you are feeling. Please ring them up and say it's just for a chat as you have been feeling lonely on your own, ask them how they are, how they are coping. Also even if you don't go to church, why not contact them as well as most if them are only to willing to get you some shopping if you are stuck in or provide support, also Age Concern might be worth calling. Thank goodness for the Internet, the revision and radio.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 30th Jun 2020 07:56:35
Hi lunastar,

Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.

If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.

If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.

Carobyloch
20th May 2020 15:11:17 (Last activity: 22nd May 2020 05:43:48)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello, not sure I'm doing this right as very new to this but Hi to bigsammy, I'm from your neck o'the woods as well....v.happy to chat.
Big Hi to Kiara as well.....sure I'm not doing this right....how do I make sure my messages are getting through .....?
Response from bigsammy made on 20th May 2020 15:50:52
hi carobyloch..yes your doing right..im near stranraer if your near there.
Response from Carobyloch made on 21st May 2020 14:02:36 > @bigsammy
Hi bigsammy, thks. for response.....sorry abt yesterday ...no, I'm not usually so dizzy, just having fraught day and trying to deal with too many things at same time - usually I'm quite sane !
I know Stranraer, don't live million miles away. Unfortunately still busy at present, should have
much more time to explore and chat on this site next week when things have quietened down.
Nice to know there's someone more or less local to chat with - tell me more...
bye for now....
Response from bigsammy made on 22nd May 2020 05:43:48 > @Carobyloch
hi carobyloch..ty for replying.once you have settled down at home,and things quiet down for you and you have more time,we will chat and catch up.thank you..p.s. dont over do it..lol
Flower41
20th May 2020 17:17:31
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi KiaraR. I'm so saddened to learn you are so alone. If lived closer I would certainly pop over and say hello and make sure you have a friendly face and someone to share a few words with. Do you not have anyone in the care sector or services that checks up on you? Maybe if you are able you could say hello to your neighbours and let them see you are up for a chat. Best wishes KiaraR from Flower 41
bigsammy
19th May 2020 13:31:38 (Last activity: 20th May 2020 09:31:13)
0
Thanks for voting!
hi kiara..dont feel lonely..im in scotland also..alway here for chat.x
Response from MayaMac made on 20th May 2020 07:34:29
I left a message some time back but no reply. On scrolling I see others have too. Hope she is ok. Pl let us know if you hear. Thks
Response from bigsammy made on 20th May 2020 09:31:13 > @MayaMac
i will mayamac..hope your well.x
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