MOVING HOME ALONE ......AND TO A NEW PART OF THE COUNTRY
Watch this postHi All
Have you any experience of moving somewhere new on your own? I would love some input into my plan for the future, if you would be so kind.
My circumstances are as follows:
I have found myself a bit isolated since I am widowed and no longer out at work. I seem to have only acquaintances rather than close friends nearby. I have joined clubs and keep busy with hobbies, but the few people I have met seem set in their existing groups of friends or are reluctant to do anything in the evening. I have retired before getting my state pension as I no longer feel well enough to work.
Lack of funds is stopping me doing more on my own.
So I have come up with a plan to sell my home and rent somewhere instead; this will give me some more disposable income, enabling me to do more and to travel to meet old friends and family. It would also take away some concerns re house maintenance.
Now for my curved ball…… It has been suggested to me that I move 100+ miles away to Warwickshire…… a beautiful area with plenty of new places for me to explore and good transport links for visiting friends and family. I have done some online investigating and it certainly has potential. Now I am wondering what pitfalls there might be that I have not thought of.
🙁
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To help me to make the right decision about moving four hours' drive away to Devon it would be good to be able to see into the future but as that's impossible I'm struggling.
I will be 80 soon so a big upheaval would be seriously stressful but I'm quite fit. Why am I thinking about the move? - to be nearer my daughter and family.
My current situation is I have everything I need, a nice home with all amenities to hand and a close friend living next door. But, she suffers from serious heart problems and if she wasn't around I could die in my home and no-one would know due to unfriendly neighbours so I'm not too keen on where I live. With my daughter wanting me to live closer I really don't know what to do. But for my daughter's company (when she's not at work or asleep because she's so busy) it would be a case of starting afresh but what a massive mistake it would be if it didn't work out.
I wish I could answer "what do I want to do". I'm afraid of swapping one location for another and keep thinking "better the devil you know etc.". Has anyone else given up security for such a move. Replies would be good.
I know exactly what you mean about moving when you get older. I moved around quite a bit when I was younger. But it was different then. I had a family. So I took my own friends with me i.e. my family and it was much easier to make friends as you were in the workforce, made friends through your spouses friends at work and through your kids. My wife died several years ago, my kids are all grown up with their own kids and live hundreds of miles away so rarely get to see them. I'm lucky if I get a phone call now and again as they are all so ' busy ' and you sometimes feel you have been pushed down to the bottom of the contact list. But can suddenly go to the top of the list when something goes wrong in their ' busy lives ' They seem to have forgotten that you were ' busy '. Mostly by looking after them, spending lots of money on them and trying to give them a happy life. As I've got older I've found ( which I'm sure happens to most of us oldie's ) that I have lost a lot of friends that I have common history with through death, losing touch through them, or me moving, divorces and people taking sides, etc.etc. I've lived out the ' bush ' most of my adult life and have no desire to live in a city, or suburbs. I'm more at home sitting around a campfire, or having a bbq and a laugh with friends rather than going to some fancy restaurant or cafe. But that's just me. Everyone is different. I went to a restaurant recently ( first time in a long time ) with an old mate from interstate who had visited me for a couple of days. A young couple came in and sat at the table opposite us. As soon as they sat down, out came their mobile, or I-pods, or whatever you call them. They never spoke a word to each other. even when their meal arrived, they used their fork to eat their meal and their other hand to operate their mobile. My mate and I shook our heads and wondered whether we were still on the same planet that we were born on when people used to talk to each other face to face. I'm not really bitching about it. It's just the way people's lives seem to end up no matter what you do. Otherwise why are we all on Siversurfers. Life seems a bit sad when you end up talking to strangers through a medium like this, and I certainly didn't think I would end up on something like this. But here I am. I only picked this site by accident, as from memory, I think I typed in seniors chat room on Google and up came this site. So thought I'd have a go at it, not realising it was UK based and I'm in Australia. But reading through a lot of posts loneliness and looking for new friends seems to be the common theme. But don't think it's probably the right site for me as I can't come and have a cuppa and chat with whoever, not sure if I could get used to this type of cyber friendship, plus I find this site so confusing as I have noticed quite a few other people have. I wouldn't know what sort of advice to give you as far as moving at your age Robanpen, or whether you'll ever read this anyway. I retired to a small village 18 years ago where I knew no one and I've found, like some people have mentioned, that I have lots of aquaintances but no real friends. They've all lived here for 200 years, everybody is their cousin or uncle,or they've grown up through school together and are not really interested in making new friends with blow-ins like me especially when you are single. I live in a nice place with a lovely view but a place is only the people you meet and maybe, as you said, ' the devil you know...' It's much easier to make these decisions when you are young and bullet proof. Even although I've ended up a lonely person at least I have a good view across a Bay, own my own place, don't lock the house, or the car,and don't have any traffic lights or parking problems and a beautiful beach in a lagoon just around the corner from me. I feel that I am probably better off than a lot of people. Anyway I've probably waffled on long enough. Just got myself into a writing mood and its helped occupy my mind for a wee while. So good luck to all you Silversurfers and hope you find whatever you are looking for.
Cheers Wellies.
Thanks in advance!
One thing that supports my sanity about this and the whole adventure of much-later life is writing about it. Any (polite) comments welcome!
Tessa
pensionista.co.uk
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It sounds very intriguing. I hope you moved well to your new house and already met new people, who are ready to spend time with you too, and not only in their closed circles.
Personally, I do not like to move in new places. It is always stressful for me. For instance, I am planning to move again from LA to somewhere else. And I still do not know to where. I am planning to rent a small flat, maybe a studio with a kitchen, so it will be only I and nobody else.
I will edit my comment when my moving will be done too. Just if somebody will be interested :3
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Now, It is about 2 years that I'm happily residing in Fort Worth. I believe moving to a new place is not a bad idea if you feel uncomfortable living in your location.
Thank You
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I am thinking of moving into a retirement village somewhere,, whe 're one can hopefully meet like-minded People. Would love to hear from.some one who has.made the move and is contended.
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I actually live near the sea now but want to have a bolt hole inland!
I shall go ahead and investigate the area I love, there are parks, specialist shops, buildings of historic interest etc., to explore. Always feel as if I have ‘gone home’ when I visit, getting excited already!
I hope I can get used to being more practical when I am staying there too, can hardly keep ringing up my husband for help with burst pipes etc can I? Haven’t lived by myself for so long, and son and daughter live miles away. Time to face up to a new way of life!
Don’t think my husband will even notice that I won’t be living in the family home all of the time, he just does his own thing!
I`m not single but live with my husband as friends really, after many years together. We do not want to separate, there are many advantages to staying married for us.
However I am very independent and like to do my own thing, I have inherited some money from relatives which is mine to spend. I like where we live but really want to have a place of my own too, at the other end of the county, about 25 miles away. I grew up there and absolutely love the area, visiting is not good enough!
My husband is set in his ways and won`t move there permanently but has no objection to me buying a little holiday home for myself. He has a hobby that takes him away quite a lot anyway.
Am I being selfish or weird? I do love the idea but get a niggling feeling that I will feel guilty because I shall not be doing the conventional thing.
Love reading about others who have moved away.
I am 66years old, and have arrived at a totally new lifestyle for 2020.
I have just retired.
I have just separated following my wifes announcement of an established alternative relationship.
I have put my house on the market, and after splitting the proceeds will have to move to new location to afford to buy again.
So, all to look forward to, new lifestyle, new friends and best experiences.
I hope this site will be helpful in moving forward.
Good luck with you new life - you sound very positive about it. The same thing happened to me 7 years ago - my partner announced that after 10 years together that we were incompatible; the week after I moved out there were photos all over Facebook of him on holiday with his new floozy!!! All very hurtful, but it certainly gave me the incentive to move on with my life . I'm fortunate in that I moved to a village about 3 miles away from where I used to live so I kept my old friends, made lots of new ones and now have a very busy lifestyle which keeps me out of mischief 🙂
I hope that all goes well with your house purchase and that you can start to enjoy your retirement doing things that you want to do.
Good luck with your move, retirement takes a bit of getting used to but you are going to be busy moving and hopefully creating a new life for yourself.
Have fun and lots of adventures.
Thanks for your comments.
I fully intend to go onwards and upwards on my journey through life!!
There is no stopping a man who has just found the excitement of supermarket shopping on a Friday morning!!!
I think what I'm trying to say, because it's what I feel, is are there really any pitfalls to relocating? If I add up what I have where I am, what's the real value? I love my home but I have to work full time to keep and maintain it, so I if I downsized I'd have more money and time. I'd also be able choose a nicer environment; more rural or even coastal. I'd love to hear from anyone who has done this. By the way - I am female - Henry was my old Labrador!
I was widowed at 46...sold my home and moved, alone, from Louisiana to California into a apartment when I retired! The "upkeep" on a home that was 30 years old, and quite large, was draining me in every since of the word....let alone the constant flooding, flood insurance, and hurricanes to deal with. With an apartment, they do everything for you....and that means everything! Even light bulbs!
I rented out my home, first, on VRBO , a one year commitment, and traveled off and on between rentals that I vetted and oversaw myself. That was very easy and exciting at first but I began to feel like I was living out of a suitcase....which, of course, I was! It did afford me to decide without a doubt to move to a resort town in Southern California after spending 2 full months here.
You can make a "move" as easy as pie and affordable if you do your due diligence BEFORE you sell your home! If there is anything I can help you with, just let me know!
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Don’t leave it until you are too old you will regret it that’s for sure . Write a list and put what’s good about where you are and what’s not so good and then compare with same list of Warwickshire .