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Advice needed please!

I wonder if anyone can offer me any advice please? I need a new start in life, but I am stuck not knowing how to make this happen. I am not at all happy living in a lonely miserable existence with no company and no social groups anywhere for miles around the area I live in, which is West Lancashire. I have a house which has been on the market now for 2 years, not even one viewing let alone a buyer and my work has dried up and I am not earning and I fear having my home repossessed. I contacted several of these quick cash sale house buyers, but they won’t even offer me enough to clear the hefty remaining mortgage let alone give me the asking price which would finance a move, it it sold for the price it is on the market for. So I am stuck. I have no supportive family now and no friends local to me, people round me are hostile and insular, and not helpful. I am based in the UK, and I was thinking about moving to the Lake District until the recent flooding which has put me off. The point of wanting to sell up and move is to move to an area where I have a chance of work, and meeting friendly people to have some much craved company, but I am not sure where to find this, either in the UK or overseas. I would have to rent a home as I would not get another mortgage at my age (58). So what I am looking for is work in a nice friendly area, nice home to rent, affordable rent, and a place safe from flooding and a high crime rate. Does anyone on here have any ideas or contacts which could be a solution? I am not afraid of hard work or long hours. Thanks millions, Kaz XX


Created By on 23/03/2016

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Andy56
31st Mar 2016 10:01:08
-1
Thanks for voting!
Hello Kaz

I'm in a similar situation to you. Well, regarding living a lonely miserable existence that is. I don't have a house selling problem, that was solved for me by a divorce.

I've lived on my own for quite a while now, all my friends seem to have vanished, the area I live in has no social/neighbourhood activites etc. and I've almost become a social recluse.

The thought of moving and everything involved put me off the idea but I finally decided it had to be that or just continue living in lonely misery. I'm moving in 3 weeks to another area, still in the same town but on the outskirts. It seems to be more friendly with a community centre and other things going on so it could be just what I need to restore a bit of normality.

That's the good thing about renting, it's made it a whole lot easier. I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out for you soon.......Andy
Pottop
28th Nov 2019 03:26:27
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello Kaz, None of us choose loneliness, yet it can come about through no fault of our own. I live in a rural area and everyone asked when we moved here "Why?". Well, it is rather beautiful and unique, but.....the downside is, I miss people too. I didn't realise, but I write a lot and I get ideas and humour from watching people, not sheep! I now do house sitting/animal sitting for free. I love it. It takes me to places I didn't even think about. I'm quite used to living on my own and like my own company but I crave seeing people. This also gives me an opportunity of exploring places where perhaps I might like to live in the future when eventually we will move from our isolated spot.
If you are thinking about moving, think about what you would like from your new house/place.
Try not to go down the quick cash house sale route if you can avoid it. Renting your house out could be a solution.......you are then free to go anywhere where there is work. Over 50 schemes can be a good idea. Think seriously about what you like and don't like to do. It might be that you have the confidence to travel......you may not. You might like to do a job "living in". Sometimes just being somewhere different can open up all sorts of other doors and be such a refreshing change. It helps if you can start to open doors for yourself. Any small steps....like coming on this forum, where people are very warm and friendly, can help.
Aha.....you can tell I am new to this can't you. I have just realised that you wrote that in March, 2016(it's now November 2019). Well, now I am wondering just how you progressed in the meantime. lol. Silly me. I do hope that things worked out for you and you eventually found some solution. I would love to hear if you have a minute.........
Marjon42
31st May 2019 19:22:05
1
Thanks for voting!
Just read your post. I am new also and just finding my way away. I too lead a lonely life.
My story is horrible but I imagine there are people worse off than me. Lost my husband 4 years ago downhill after that. I had a home but due to financial situation could not afford to keep it up. I had major heart surgery which I recovered from. My sister said I could l live with her which I should have refused but I was going thru a lot and could not keep up the house. I wasn't there year and she threw me out no reason given. She just decided she did not want to look after me. I am self sufficient and take care of myself. I have a grand daughter and she helped me find a little apartment which is all that I can afford. The place is horrible but I fixed it up the best I could. My granddaughter put me in there and doesn't even bother with me. She is all I have left.. My other sister and brother do not bother with me. I am so lonely but I keep going on. My husband always said I was a strong person and I still miss him. So that is my story.
Joncol
28th Mar 2019 01:54:10
0
Thanks for voting!
If you would consider live in personal care work living in a clients home? You could find out about local communities .Also living away for a
week or month might bring a new way of seeing the situation. Search Elder, or HelpingHands -
Doyen Daddio
6th Feb 2019 16:37:04
2
Thanks for voting!
My goodness, Kaz. Your reflections are so like my own on several levels.
I bought this house under unusual circumstances 10+ years ago. Spent another £12k modernising to some degree. Have been trying to sell for 8 yrs.
Totally perplexed by all we read about house prices increasing when this barely reaches that initially paid 10yrs ago. Which to sell as would constitute yet another untenable downsising.
I sympathise with you also having the necessity of securing nonexistent employment in a location you are unhappy with. >> Fortunately, I'm retired so at least one less burden.
All one can say is, you have my best wishes for an acceptable outcome.
With regards. Graham
HelenL68
31st Dec 2018 14:14:09 (Last activity: 3rd Jan 2019 20:44:57)
2
Thanks for voting!
Your situation really moved me, I too am isolated and find it hard to make friends. I joined Meet up and went on walks and coffee mornings. Still no real friends but lots of friendly like minded people, company whenever I want it, and a chance to do things you wouldn't do on your own.
Can't sort the housing I'm afraid, I had to sell up and rent, not ideal but not the end of the world either.
What work do you do? That could affect what areas would be good for you.
Don't give up on the lakes, they have towns on higher ground too ☺️ Always been my dream to run away to somewhere like that (though on the downside work maybe a problem there)
Response from hydro62 made on 3rd Jan 2019 20:44:57
Hi Helen this story really touched me too. I hope she got sorted as it is an old post. I was interested in your comment about Meet up, never heard of it so I googled it. There isnt a group near me though . Someone else suggested a u3a which i also googled , unfortunately its not for people still in employment like me but there is a group in my area.
At least i learned something new today
Janette
Karencp2000
10th Dec 2018 10:47:34
1
Thanks for voting!
Are there any recent chats about finding accommodation or shared living. These all seem to be from 2017
Sparkle45
26th Aug 2017 16:13:45
1
Thanks for voting!
Hello Kazzy

Welcome to a friendly place ... you chose right place to join here you will see ..... loneliness is horrible and I know all about that.

My life changed in big way after my my father died and mother ran away to live with my sister and brother in law far away as I was retired and had spent my life looking after others.

The windows and doors opened up for me when the local U3A began ... the Ist meeting in the hall was full to bursting with so many people like us hoping to find something new. The second was inviting as all the interests was pasted on wall with join me forms underneath and I filled in 7 and it took off in big way as my calender is now full of events and I have made loads of new friends .... go on try it you might find it does the same for you .... smile
Paul54
15th Jul 2017 18:22:50
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Kaz, your story is sad but unfortunately common.
I am 68 years old and very lucky to have a lovely wife who is Latvian.
We have let our bungalow in the UK and live in a lovely rural provincial town in the south of Latvia it is an unknown gem. There are problems but the cheap cultural and country lifestype is worth the effort. A pensioner like me can live like a king and enjoy life on a small budjet.
I just had to learn a few new phrases to get by, but had the advantage of my wife to translate.
Perhaps think out of the box.?
Sorry I can't offer more.
Georgie Girl
3rd Jan 2017 22:46:20
0
Thanks for voting!
Big jump from post dated 23 March 2016 to now??
Margaret Hart
3rd Jan 2017 20:03:10
0
Thanks for voting!
Answering Advice needed, ha.ve you thought about the possibility of renting your house for enough to cover your mortgage. F you do that you can move to a place where there is more work and possibly get a job to pay to live until things turn around or your house sells. You sound very low and perhaps you could do with something from your Doctor to give you a lift but don't get dependant on anything like that. If you are lonely why don't you go somewhere where there are plenty of people and until you get a job volunteer for one of the charity shops to find some company. Loneliness is one of the most common ailments in this country but only you can move out of it. I wish you luck in whatever you do.
Tyson2406
4th Apr 2016 09:17:21
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Kazzy57. You have a number of queries but the thing which appears to be the sticking point is selling your house. I live in Preston, Lancashire and did marketing on my degree and sold my house in a few days. Not gloating here, just trying to help. Have you got the house for sale with an agent? If so, discuss with them why it is not selling. I spent time decluttering and decorating my home before it went on the market. It is now the time that properties sell now that the lighter nights have arrived. Without knowing anymore details I am stuck. If you have it with an agent, let me know which and I will look it up and give you my opinion - for what it is worth.
I advise people at Citizens Advice Bureau and would say if you get your property to sell, then maybe the next step is a job. Have you got a CV up to date? There are job clubs and organisations who can help you with this (try your local CAB for where they are). The area would depend on what housing you are going for and what your interests are. No good being close to a Ballet company if you are not interested. Renting a home would be a good idea in a new area to discover where it is best to settle. Obviously, the lower crime areas are more expensive to rent but if you are on a low income you may qualify for housing benefit and if you live alone you should get 25% discount on your council tax. Sometimes, when you are older self employment may be the answer. Employees can take on younger people and pay less an hour!
I have lots of ideas but will leave you with these. Get back if I can help any further
Tyson2406
bobo5000
27th Mar 2016 20:01:45
1
Thanks for voting!
My name is Regina I'm 63 years old from Canada. Just got my first computer! Hoping to chat about everyday life have no friends once I retired everyone disappeared.
Aussiebargeman
25th Mar 2016 18:31:37
0
Thanks for voting!
My friend and I both have 24 metre canal barges in France.
We are required by the regulations to have two people on board but every summer we have a problem finding lady companions. No men as they want to be captain.
We are so different from cruising on a cruise ship I think it needs a separate heading
raymond678
24th Mar 2016 17:56:21
-1
Thanks for voting!
ya know how you feel its all ok around this way but can be a lonely place as well if you get any advice let me know
EP
23rd Mar 2016 20:35:03
-1
Thanks for voting!
I work as an Estate Agent in the North East. I am not sure where you live but the area of Yarm and Eaglescliffe are very nice places to live . In fact Yarm was voted the best high street in the country at one time.
Has you Agent spoken to you about Auction for your property. You would set a price and a reserve price on your property. The first price is usually lower than the market value to attract viewings on your property. The contract is between you and urge auction house with the purchaser paying the fee. You should not have to pay the estate agent ant fee. We find this is a very successful way of selling properties often sales going through exceeding the asking price. It might be worth having a chat with your Agent about this. People would but your property as seen. Worth a go. Hope this helps.
[deleted]
23rd Mar 2016 17:17:53 (Last activity: 23rd Mar 2016 17:54:02)
0
Thanks for voting!
[deleted]
Response from Kazzy57 Original Poster made on 23rd Mar 2016 17:54:02
Hi Lochinvar,
Thanks millions for your response to my post.
I applied for several posts advertised in "The Lady" magazine but heard absolutely nothing back in either case.
At the time of doing this, I asked the estate agent who has had my home up for sale for the past 2 years about renting my home out and he told me that it would cost me a lot of money to set up a rental as there are some jobs which need doing on the house which would need to be done prior to renting it out and he said that he felt that apart from this, the risks of endlessly having changes of tenant and collecting rent, risks of damage to the house and then getting the mortgage company to agree to my renting it out, which would be a real problem given who my mortgage is with, that it is out of the question.
So the ideal case scenario is a quick sale I cannot move without making a profit on a sale, I have no savings to afford a move or to put my belongings into storage or even to move them to a new home, unless I can find well paid work and a decent rented home that might allow me to pay my mortgage and the rent on a new home until the house is sold, and at 58 years of age this prospect is slim.
I am stuck.
Thanks for your help.
Kaz XX

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