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MOVING HOME ALONE ......AND TO A NEW PART OF THE COUNTRY

Hi All

Have you any experience of moving somewhere new on your own? I would love some input into my plan for the future, if you would be so kind.

My circumstances are as follows:

I have found myself a bit isolated since I am widowed and no longer out at work. I seem to have only acquaintances rather than close friends nearby. I have joined clubs and keep busy with hobbies, but the few people I have met seem set in their existing groups of friends or are reluctant to do anything in the evening. I have retired before getting my state pension as I no longer feel well enough to work.

Lack of funds is stopping me doing more on my own.

So I have come up with a plan to sell my home and rent somewhere instead; this will give me some more disposable income, enabling me to do more and to travel to meet old friends and family. It would also take away some concerns re house maintenance.

Now for my curved ball…… It has been suggested to me that I move 100+ miles away to Warwickshire…… a beautiful area with plenty of new places for me to explore and good transport links for visiting friends and family. I have done some online investigating and it certainly has potential. Now I am wondering what pitfalls there might be that I have not thought of.

🙁


Created By on 10/03/2015

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Gk59
17th Mar 2019 08:34:14
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi suffolknan

I was widowed in 2017, and six months later decided to move from the family house we had lived in for twenty years, to another town.

I felt I needed to move on, and my daughter was finding it hard being in the house with an empty chair where her Dad used to sit. Another reason for moving was to go to a newer property with less maintenance.

We have been in the new home for nearly a year now, and I am very pleased that we did it. I am quite a shy person so I knew I wouldn’t be making lots of new friends, however I have joined a writing group which has given me lots of confidence as well as a new hobby. We have also found our neighbours to be very friendly (we are in a small close of just nine houses).

I won’t pretend it was easy, I had a lot of sleepless nights worrying if I was doing the right thing, but now I’m glad it did it. I did a lot of reasearch into the area we moved to, and we saw a lot of houses before we found the one that was right for us.

I would say take your time, do a lot of research and then you will find the right place
RosalindD
20th Jun 2017 09:45:06 (Last activity: 17th May 2023 22:15:47)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi I have just seen this group and joined as I am also thinking of moving away from Norwich where I live as I have no real friends here, no family and feel fairly lonely. I am thinking of Bath but need to visit first, does anyone have knowledge of what it is like to start there again at age 66?!! I'm told its a lovely city and area. I am also looking at retirement flats or villages but not sure what to do or if I should move at all as it feels very frightening on my own.
Thanks in advance!
Response from Alice25 made on 17th May 2023 22:15:47
Hi just wondering did you manage to do your move and how it turned out
TessaCL
24th Oct 2022 13:13:35 (Last activity: 24th Oct 2022 14:18:46)
0
Thanks for voting!
I've read some of these posts with interest, because - at 78 - I'm planning to move from the Midlands back south, which most people wouldn't be crazy enough to attempt.... But my sons live hundreds of miles away and isolation in lock-down was a wake-up call. So my house is now on the market, just as viewers become an endangered species! If I'm to have any hope of getting a decent cardboard box in North London, have to sell reasonably well.. Catch 22.
One thing that supports my sanity about this and the whole adventure of much-later life is writing about it. Any (polite) comments welcome!
Tessa
pensionista.co.uk
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 24th Oct 2022 14:18:46
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Flower41
21st May 2020 09:41:36 (Last activity: 13th Oct 2021 16:48:02)
3
Thanks for voting!
Hi, After I lost my hubby I decided to sell up and move with my young cat from Bedfordshire to Norfolk. This meant having a one and half hours drive to see one son+ his family and a three + hours drive to see my other son + his family. However I soon made friends and I am really content and happy. The lock down has obviously affected travelling to see my family and them coming to see me but we keep in touch through social media and phone calls. Not the same as having a physical hug but I don't feel abandoned. Being able to sew, read and chat/text/use messenger etc keeps me up to date with things. I'm glad I took the step to move on from my old home. I am fortunate that I do drive. With hubby no longer with me it was for me the ideal move. I've been on my own for seven years now and don't regret moving to a new place.
Response from Flower41 made on 10th Aug 2021 16:37:31
Hi Andrew, I see you are on your own like me. It's very strange when you suddenly find yourself a single person after having been one of a pair. It took me some time to get used to being on my own. Now some 8years on I think I have finally cracked the situation. One thing that can difficult is holidays! Although I have made some really great friends they are all still two of a pair. I'm very fortunate my family invite me to join them. I'm recently back from a trip to Devon to see other members of my family. I went with one of my son's and his family. However I like to go away without family, finding someone to go with is really hard and going alone doesn't really appeal. I hope you are finding your way and are going to continue to do things that will make your life full and fun. We are of a similar age Andrew and hopefully we still have a lot to give and a whole lot to live. Yes I still believe chipping humans at birth would prevent fraud activity and confusion as to a person's country of origin making then very easy to trace. I hope to see your contributions in Silver Surfers often . Take care . Best wishes Flower 41a
Response from Flower41 made on 10th Sep 2021 08:36:52
Hi Andrew, I am so sorry I have not replied to you before now but to be honest I have tried. I couldn't fathom how to get in touch with you on S/Surfers as I couldn't find which thing I should actually click on. Today I conquered that. It is a bit daunting chatting to a complete stranger on line. I guess we have to be sensible. As the saying goes, when in doubt, Don't do it. Heyho tell me the types of places you like to visit. Do you like warm climes or aren't too bothered. Historical places or ultra popular places? I've stopped going on roundabouts and the big dippers these days. Hope you are well. Take care Flower 41a
Response from Kimali59 made on 13th Oct 2021 14:41:31 > @Flower41
Hi I’m so glad to have found this! My husband and I were separated but he died 6 weeks ago and it’s all been on me to sort out. 2 of my daughters moved away earlier this year to Durham and Norfolk which left just my son and his family local. However I’ve had the chance to move to the Cotswolds and my son and daughter can’t understand why I want to. I’m 62 and need to start again after some very sad years and too many memories here. If I don’t do it now I never will. I’m taking a leap of faith but figured it has to be better than this!
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Oct 2021 14:56:10 > @Kimali59
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Response from Whitebeam 1 made on 13th Oct 2021 16:48:02 > @Kimali59
Hi, if you want to move home, then just do it. Recently moved but do have daughter and family quite near, they moved due to work and I followed. I have my own place, can come and go as I please but don't "live" on family, they have their own lives. As you say , take that leap of faith, I love my new home but need to meet new friends now. I had a very active social life and don't know anyone here but it's taken a surprisingly long time to unpack and get sorted. I'm still in touch with old friends, some of 40 yrs and more and speak regularly with them so don't feel cut off. I'll be going back to see them just before Christmas and know they'll come and visit me here next year. I also had many unhappy years and would prefer to be alone and happy than with someone who made my life a misery, so understand perfectly how you feel. Go for it, and I really hope you'll be happy. I never thought I'd move away but so glad I did, a stones throw from the beach and a sea view, happy days indeed.
ObiManKenobi
25th Jul 2021 14:24:45 (Last activity: 25th Jul 2021 18:35:56)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello!

It sounds very intriguing. I hope you moved well to your new house and already met new people, who are ready to spend time with you too, and not only in their closed circles.

Personally, I do not like to move in new places. It is always stressful for me. For instance, I am planning to move again from LA to somewhere else. And I still do not know to where. I am planning to rent a small flat, maybe a studio with a kitchen, so it will be only I and nobody else.



I will edit my comment when my moving will be done too. Just if somebody will be interested :3
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 25th Jul 2021 18:35:56
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Busmiss
29th Dec 2020 20:39:11 (Last activity: 17th Feb 2021 19:07:11)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi I’m planning to move to Eastbourne or Chichester. Semi retirement. A few friends in the area but moving on my own away from family. Any suggestions on these areas or anywhere you would recommend close by. I enjoy walking, music and theatre. So really a small town rather than village life. Must be also near a station to London. Thanks....
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 29th Dec 2020 23:02:57
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Response from ozziegirl made on 15th Jan 2021 18:03:01
I think both Chichester and Bournemouth are good options. Take a look at Lewes too. It's got a lot going on and is supposed to be a lovely place to live.
Response from Streudal made on 17th Feb 2021 19:07:11 > @ozziegirl
Hi .....where abouts in Auss?? I lived there for 10 fun filled years 🙂
Streudal
4th Feb 2021 03:25:02 (Last activity: 4th Feb 2021 08:19:40)
0
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Hello ....I have moved around an awful lot Uk, France, Australia. Just within France the expat community varied tremendously across regions. Important to rent first and in the Uk i found it quite useful to stand in a queue in a PO to gauge atmosphere. Although this is pretty impossible during Covid. Its very easy to think the grass is greener on the other side - there is also equity release for you if its mainly a money move. I found a perfect town in my travels but it is further north - a place called Southwell near Notts. 5yrs ago it was a lovely diverse little town with its own Cathedral, special shops and a really friendly attitude. I remember sitting in a cafe one day looking at tourist info and a lady came up to me out of the blue to offer help. Right opposite there was another cafe with a group of people from an Italian conversation class. Wish I were there now as its not too friendly where I live. This my first post so hoping to make friends along the way 🙂
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 4th Feb 2021 08:19:40
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AngelaB46
20th Nov 2020 13:26:09 (Last activity: 15th Jan 2021 18:08:28)
1
Thanks for voting!
Good luck with your move, you will be surprised how strong you are doing this. I moved from Scotland to Berkshire 15 years ago on my own. Although it was lonely to start off with, I like where I live and have made friends (albeit they don't all live near me). I have thought of moving again as I took early retirement this year and it doesn't seem a scary option this time as I did it before but don't know what I want at the moment. Before you decide where you want to go decide what it is you want from an area. I like it this far South as the weather is much better and I am in a location that I can get to a beach within 1.5 hours, Airports 30 mins away (as I like to travel) and the area is safe.
Response from ozziegirl made on 15th Jan 2021 18:08:28
Yes, I agree with Angela. I think it's very wise to perhaps rent for while in the area you think you'd like to move to. Or at least do multiple weekend trips with AirBnB or SisterStay or the like. Find out how friendly it is and get a feel for prices. Maybe see what local groups there are. Check out on MeetUp whether there are active groups around your main interests.
Leanonme
14th Jan 2021 18:17:29 (Last activity: 14th Jan 2021 20:23:58)
0
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Hi I'm in exactly the same position as you describe.. I was widowed in April and my young daughter moved back home. It was at the start of the covid outbreak and she had just split up from her boyfriend. A mix of practical and emotional reasons. She is adrift. My priority is to make sure she is stabilised in her life and then consider moving. Its good to know others out there feel the same as I do in terms of moving after a bereavement. Thanks
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 14th Jan 2021 20:23:58
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mikeson
13th Dec 2020 03:31:43 (Last activity: 13th Dec 2020 08:43:30)
0
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Moving to a new location is a good decision for the persons facing bad experiences in their current location. Back in 2018, I faced a bad time in Arlington where I was living with my sweet wife and 2 kidos. It was very difficult for me to make the decision to move to a new place. But the environment around me forced me to move. Finally, I moved to Fort Worth and thanks to Invoke Moving (https://invokemoving.com/) the movers helped me make all moving things easier.

Now, It is about 2 years that I'm happily residing in Fort Worth. I believe moving to a new place is not a bad idea if you feel uncomfortable living in your location.

Thank You
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 13th Dec 2020 08:43:30
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LindaV53
18th Nov 2020 17:57:01 (Last activity: 18th Nov 2020 23:13:34)
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi, just seen your comment. I am moving to Norfolk within next few weeks. Up on the north coast. Hoping people are friendlier there than where I currently live in Essex.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 18th Nov 2020 23:13:34
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susikins61
26th Aug 2020 15:36:50 (Last activity: 31st Oct 2020 15:56:24)
1
Thanks for voting!
Before i decided to retire to the seaside here in Torquay i used to spend the odd weekend in differnet places to try them out, especially in winter. I visited 17 seaside towns over 4 years to get a feel for each place. I decided to be near Babbacombe as there were over 50 clubs around Torbay area. I also volunteer for our local Hospice 3 times a week which i am missing dreadfully. I do an over 60's swim as well and we have coffee afterwards which i am missing dreadfully until both things comes back. I cannot tell you how much pleasure i get from volunteering . I would study the area before you move, visit and talk to people. Good luck.
Response from susikins61 made on 30th Oct 2020 19:10:46
I would highly recommend where i live here in Torquay, so friendly and so many things you can join here. Moved around with my hubbys career but i am originally from Yorkshire but not lived there since i got married in 1979. Looked at 17 seaside resorts over 5 years whilst thinking about retirement and waiting for my son and daughter to finish at University and start working. It has been lovely to be able to walk down by the sea without the tourists here i must admit but very sad for all the businesses here that rely on tourism too. But my aqufit for the over 60's now resumed though sadly we cannot have coffee afterwards. Back doing my voluntary shift for the Hospice, so far , so good. Have a lovely weekend.
Response from susikins61 made on 31st Oct 2020 15:56:24
WE CERTAINLY KNOW WE HAVE WEATHER DOWN HERE, STORM Aiden certainly was noisey last night. Got some huge Liners and Cruise ships sheltering in the bay. I did not realise how huge they are until you get close up. My home is quite high up so i feel the winds, my neighbour has a tree down but thankfully it fell on his back lawn. Calm now so a quiet evening ahead i hope.
HL
19th Jun 2020 12:40:27 (Last activity: 19th Jun 2020 13:52:04)
0
Thanks for voting!
I am in a s similar situation. 75 years young, widowed no children. While I have a beautiful flat in London it get quite lonely.

I am thinking of moving into a retirement village somewhere,, whe 're one can hopefully meet like-minded People. Would love to hear from.some one who has.made the move and is contended.
Response from Sally - Silversurfer's Editor made on 19th Jun 2020 13:52:04
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Susi23
6th Mar 2020 18:12:15 (Last activity: 7th Mar 2020 14:58:07)
1
Thanks for voting!
Thank you everyone, for your positive replies.
I actually live near the sea now but want to have a bolt hole inland!
I shall go ahead and investigate the area I love, there are parks, specialist shops, buildings of historic interest etc., to explore. Always feel as if I have ‘gone home’ when I visit, getting excited already!
Response from Susi23 made on 6th Mar 2020 18:37:51
I will E7D, it may take a while though!

I hope I can get used to being more practical when I am staying there too, can hardly keep ringing up my husband for help with burst pipes etc can I? Haven’t lived by myself for so long, and son and daughter live miles away. Time to face up to a new way of life!
Response from CaroleAH made on 7th Mar 2020 11:24:59
Great news, Susi. I know what you mean about doing the practical things. Before Christmas I had to change a circular fluorescent light tube in the bathroom. Did that okay but the light still wasn't right so I thought perhaps the starter "thingy" needed changing as well. Took the old one to the DIY shop and the very helpful gentleman found the correct size for me - replaced that and the light came on straight away without flickering. Felt as though I had won the lottery!!! Clipped the shade back into position .......... then during the night, the shade fell off (it's an uplighter - fortunately plastic) with such a clatter and scared me half to death. Thank goodness I didn't have a burglar and there was no damage to the shade and it is now hanging securely 🙂 Baby steps to start with but you will soon get more confident. Find out where to turn the gas, electricity and water off and have an emergency supply of candles and matches or torches in case of power cuts.
Response from Susi23 made on 7th Mar 2020 12:50:13
Thank you CaroleAH, that is really reassuring. You are right about the baby steps. Am looking up little properties online in my chosen area, don’t really know anyone there yet (ages since I lived there) but will get out and meet people.
Don’t think my husband will even notice that I won’t be living in the family home all of the time, he just does his own thing!
Response from CaroleAH made on 7th Mar 2020 14:58:07
Unless your husband is totally self-sufficient in your marital home i.e. does his own cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc he will soon notice that you are not there keeping things on an even keel. When you have bought your new property it might be worth investigating what the local U3A does in your chosen area. I've made loads of new friends since I joined and go on days out and holidays with them as well as reading books way out of my comfort zone in the book group. This is just the start of your adventure!
Susi23
2nd Mar 2020 06:59:39 (Last activity: 2nd Mar 2020 21:40:35)
3
Thanks for voting!
Hi, I`m new here also.

I`m not single but live with my husband as friends really, after many years together. We do not want to separate, there are many advantages to staying married for us.

However I am very independent and like to do my own thing, I have inherited some money from relatives which is mine to spend. I like where we live but really want to have a place of my own too, at the other end of the county, about 25 miles away. I grew up there and absolutely love the area, visiting is not good enough!

My husband is set in his ways and won`t move there permanently but has no objection to me buying a little holiday home for myself. He has a hobby that takes him away quite a lot anyway.

Am I being selfish or weird? I do love the idea but get a niggling feeling that I will feel guilty because I shall not be doing the conventional thing.

Love reading about others who have moved away.
Response from CaroleAH made on 2nd Mar 2020 16:03:22
I would go for it, Susi. As long as you can afford the upkeep of a holiday home, why wouldn't you? It's actually no else's business and if it makes you happy I can't see any reason why you wouldn't. Good luck and do let us know how you get on 🙂
Response from SilverBlue made on 2nd Mar 2020 21:40:35
Go for it Susi, sounds lovely to have a home by the sea, I hope you find what you are looking for.
Markthebuilder
10th Feb 2020 13:51:28 (Last activity: 29th Feb 2020 08:35:33)
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi all, another newbie I'm afraid!
I am 66years old, and have arrived at a totally new lifestyle for 2020.
I have just retired.
I have just separated following my wifes announcement of an established alternative relationship.
I have put my house on the market, and after splitting the proceeds will have to move to new location to afford to buy again.
So, all to look forward to, new lifestyle, new friends and best experiences.
I hope this site will be helpful in moving forward.
Response from CaroleAH made on 28th Feb 2020 10:07:47
Hi Mark,
Good luck with you new life - you sound very positive about it. The same thing happened to me 7 years ago - my partner announced that after 10 years together that we were incompatible; the week after I moved out there were photos all over Facebook of him on holiday with his new floozy!!! All very hurtful, but it certainly gave me the incentive to move on with my life . I'm fortunate in that I moved to a village about 3 miles away from where I used to live so I kept my old friends, made lots of new ones and now have a very busy lifestyle which keeps me out of mischief 🙂
I hope that all goes well with your house purchase and that you can start to enjoy your retirement doing things that you want to do.
Response from SilverBlue made on 28th Feb 2020 13:03:49
Hi Mark

Good luck with your move, retirement takes a bit of getting used to but you are going to be busy moving and hopefully creating a new life for yourself.

Have fun and lots of adventures.
Response from Markthebuilder made on 28th Feb 2020 15:06:08
Hi SilverBlue,
Thanks for your comments.
I fully intend to go onwards and upwards on my journey through life!!
There is no stopping a man who has just found the excitement of supermarket shopping on a Friday morning!!!
Response from Markthebuilder made on 29th Feb 2020 08:35:33
Fabric softeners? Oh... I have just looked them up. Perhaps I ought to go and buy some!!
alip1965
28th Feb 2020 08:01:08 (Last activity: 28th Feb 2020 15:08:06)
0
Thanks for voting!
Ouch mark that sounds difficult. You sound positive and k wish you all the best in your journey. Ali
Response from Markthebuilder made on 28th Feb 2020 15:08:06
Thank you Al!!i
Silvalady
31st Jan 2020 08:29:05
2
Thanks for voting!
I know this is an old original post but it's so similar to my own experience that I just had to contribute. I lived in Suffolk over 30 years and met my second husband there. We owned a Park Home and were very comfortable. His sister lived round the corner and my brother and his family lived five minutes drive away. My grown up children and grandchildren lived not too far away. We regularly met friends at the local pub. Then my husband became ill. He died almost 2 years ago. My daughter and youngest grandchildren moved to Cornwall and, although I still had family and friends in Suffolk, I needed a change. Like you, suffolknan, I felt like selling my home and moving into rented so that I no longer had the maintenance costs and to release capital that would benefit me for my remaining years. I'm 72. I sold my home and, since November 2019 have been living in a rented cottage in Cornwall. It's a big change and I love it. I no longer have central heating, I have a wood burner and I no longer live in a bungalow, I have stairs to climb. As it's been wet most of the time since I moved, I haven't met many people yet but I have fantastic neighbours, and a pub and community shop a mere few minutes walk away plus I am close to my daughter, her husband and my young granddaughters. The family and friends I left behind have promised to visit in the Summer and I have changed my routine life so much that it feels like a new lease of life and I love it. I hope your move turned out as good as mine has.
Henry001
29th Dec 2019 13:25:56 (Last activity: 8th Jan 2020 00:26:11)
0
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Hi there, I'm newly joined, today! What caught my interest, apart from the prospect of the social interaction, was Suffolknan's posting on relocation. I found the site because I had Googled, "Relocating alone at 62"! I know the posting was a long time ago so am wondering how it woeked out for her, as I'm now in a similar position. I have a lovely home, good neighbours and a good job. All fine on the surface and yet I feel so isolated. With no family (my only daughter lives in Australia) I find that although some of my neighbours are friendly and helpful ... even walking my dog regularly when I was ill, at the weekends and main holidays it's all about family and I can go for days without seeing anyone. A couple of acquaintances I hoped might develop into friendships seem to have fizzled out. It's not that I'm needy; maybe it's just harder to make meaningful connection later in life.
I think what I'm trying to say, because it's what I feel, is are there really any pitfalls to relocating? If I add up what I have where I am, what's the real value? I love my home but I have to work full time to keep and maintain it, so I if I downsized I'd have more money and time. I'd also be able choose a nicer environment; more rural or even coastal. I'd love to hear from anyone who has done this. By the way - I am female - Henry was my old Labrador!
Response from wuzupcupp1 made on 8th Jan 2020 00:26:11
Hey! Henri! The "new friends" thing is definitely more difficult ....I have made a few "quality" friends because I walk my dog 3 times per day!

I was widowed at 46...sold my home and moved, alone, from Louisiana to California into a apartment when I retired! The "upkeep" on a home that was 30 years old, and quite large, was draining me in every since of the word....let alone the constant flooding, flood insurance, and hurricanes to deal with. With an apartment, they do everything for you....and that means everything! Even light bulbs!

I rented out my home, first, on VRBO , a one year commitment, and traveled off and on between rentals that I vetted and oversaw myself. That was very easy and exciting at first but I began to feel like I was living out of a suitcase....which, of course, I was! It did afford me to decide without a doubt to move to a resort town in Southern California after spending 2 full months here.

You can make a "move" as easy as pie and affordable if you do your due diligence BEFORE you sell your home! If there is anything I can help you with, just let me know!




I
ElaineC182
20th Dec 2019 15:38:33
0
Thanks for voting!
I hate to rain on your parade. I have another alternative. Move away but to a flat in Over 55 complex. I love it in my flat. We have just had a Christmas Party with quiz , lovely food. We have a social committee which have all sorts of things going on. Fish and Chip suppers, bus to restaurant amongst coffee mornings to raise valuable money for charity. Most are in your situation here . They are all over the country. Ours is McCathy and Stone. You can have a downstairs flat with piece of garden. We have gardeners do our big communal garden but some real gardeners help out when they want. You can join in for tea in morning and afternoon where you will find others doing the same. This is a great life and we will never have to move again as we have emergency buttons for when we may need them which is not yet for me. We have communal laundry or if you have bigger flat can have your own washing machine. I use laundry as gives me a chance for a gossip. If you want privacy you have lovely flat for anything you need. I love it!
JenniferS14
20th Dec 2019 14:26:53
0
Thanks for voting!
I think you are doing the right thing . I cannot see any pit falls to be honest only positives . Money in your bank to enjoy some travel etc . New people who may be more willing to include you
Don’t leave it until you are too old you will regret it that’s for sure . Write a list and put what’s good about where you are and what’s not so good and then compare with same list of Warwickshire .
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