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Sisters cut off

My sisters seem to have always been jealous of me and have now cut themselves off. The whole family is estranged.


Our parents have died. I have never boasted about anything. In fact, my sisters have more than I do.


They have large families, better homes etc All I have ever wanted was to be loving and a good sister.


My husband has died and I'm on my own. I'm lonely but my sisters don't care. I have reached out to them and asked what I have done wrong. They just say that they have different lives and don't care about me.


I have tried to make friends with other people but I'm in my late 60's and people don't want to know. I join clubs, U3A, etc but people are too wrapped up in their own worlds. where did I go wrong?


I never thought I'd end up like this where nobody would notice if I died.


I've spoken to my doctor who has prescribed anti depressants but mental health people don't want to help. They say I'm just full of self pity. Any ideas would be welcome. Thanks.


Created By on 13/09/2022

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Valla46
14th Sep 2022 17:29:10
2
Thanks for voting!
Hi Julie
I do feel great sympathy for you. I am in a similar position to yourself in that no-one in my family is in touch with me (son, daughter, sister, cousin) except one, my granddaughter, thank heaven. I feel I must be the most horrible person alive sometimes!

I am on anti-depressants, and see my MH practitioner regularly. He says I need to "get out" and try and form a social circle, and has given me details of various things locally. I have a weekly phone call from a volunteer from age.uk. and have found her a great support. She's less than half my age and lives about 200 miles away, but we really get on and I love talking t9 her. Voluntary work, as purplehat said, is a good way of meeting people. Do your MH team have any ideas or groups set up? They are not doing their job properly if all they give you are negative responses.

I do hope you can find some support, though I know it does need persistence. Being cynical, a few tears usually do the trick, though you may well find that you don't have to try too hard to produce some.

Let me know how you get on.
Griffand0
12th Jan 2024 21:03:18
0
Thanks for voting!
Wow! You sound so much like me. My family has cut me out. They never told me why. After our mom died they had no.more interest in my life. The oldest sister said I talked about my problems to much. I guess I did. Everyone needs someone to talk to. I have huge issues in my life and now I'm alone and lonely. I'll be 64 in a week. I raised my 3 grandchildren for 14 years. I still have custody of 2 one is now 20. Mom,my daughter has a drug addiction was meth. Been clean for 2 years. Doing very well. All those years she stayed hi and gone our relationship changed. No matter what was going on I had to keep these children number one. Even over my husband. Im sad to say. M.S. took over his body. I could no longer take care of him. He has been in a nursing home for 5 years and I hate it. I want my husband back. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were to grow old together. Sharing our lives our love and golden years. Now that our daughter is clean the 3 kids spend most of their time with her. Plus they visit their dad. So I am home alone most of the time. It gets hard to just listen to the ringing in my ears and no one else. My husband is an hour a way so twice a week is all I see him. Our daughter said put dad by me I'll make sure he is OK. Lol I need to find a better place a close place. He almost died in September I can't waste anymore time. I need to not feeling sorry for myself and take care of him. Taking care of people is all I know. I'm so upset with our daughter she is taking my grandchildren away from me. I did all the hard work. I raised them alone. I helped them become the wonderful people they are today. Now she pulls them from me. It's still our money that supports them,clothes them, pays for phones. Now I feel I have to end it. I'm not just a check in point come grab clean clothes and leave. But I blame her. My story could go on and on. Giving more insight of why ptsd came to me. You could really get a better knowledge of why I'm so hurt by her. Just isn't enough space here.
PurpleHat
13th Sep 2022 22:38:30
1
Thanks for voting!
There are many people who feel as you do, joined clubs etc I don't think you have given that enough time, you have to work at it, take the teacups back to the kitchen, tidy up before leaving - small helpful things that will please the ones who always do the work, the ones keeping the clubs and classes going, and getting people's attention. Try volunteering at the local charity shop or similar, meet the others who help, keep busy and watch the people who come in and what they do. Look outside yourself to find the people who will be friends of the future.- It takes work!!! but it can be satisfying too.

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