Problems with People
Watch this postI have a lot of problems with people. 1) Extended family, mum and sisters = are all very nasty and ignore me. They have now all cut each other off and i'm isolated from them. 2) I have been bullied out of 2 jobs in the past 3) I found that I was suddenly widowed 15 months ago and I really loved my husband with my heart and soul 4) I needed a job after my husband's death and managed to get one. This was great because I needed to pay bills etc 5)
Not long after starting my job a man my age started flirting with me - interrupting my work. I found I liked him. He is a very secretive man and people advised me to find out more about him. He turned out to have never been married and he knew all about me. However, he didn't like it that I had found out things about him. He told our boss that I had been finding out all about him and our boss called me into her office and gave me a warning. My boss also added other incidents- e.g a woman at work being angry with me because she couldn't do a project she wanted to do and blamed me. This woman had been into my boss to complain that I was a liar. My boss brought up 5 things and was hinting that I should go. I just burst into tears and left. 4 of the things were cited by the man who fancied me and the other was from this woman colleague. I don't go out of my way to upset anyone - I'm cheerful and try to support people. When I go to work I keep my home life away from work despite having 5 deaths last year - two of which were my beloved husband and also my father. My dad died a year ago today and no-one at work knows. So, when my boss had a go at me today it hit me hard.
My question is difficult to answer really because you don't know me as a person. I have been told that I am too nice and caring by mental health experts and that is why I get targeted by people.
My question is: Am I the one at fault at work? I didn't invite my male colleagues attention and I did not even try to sabotage my female colleagues project. These are facts. Somehow, they blame me and they have both tried to get me the sack with my boss today. Please I need some help to understand why I end up in this mess and what should I do?
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Just thought I'd update.
Well, I lost my job during the pandemic. I was the only one made redundant. The other co workers are still employed and doing fine. I haven't had a job since. When I apply employers say I'm too old at 63. I know it's against the law but they get away with it. I try to survive from day to day but I'm still lonely. Sisters have cut them selves off. They say they are on 'different paths'. I feel like I'm on the scrap heap and it's so hard to keep going. I've seen several counsellors and they say there is nothing wrong with me. If anything people/family are jealous. This amazed me as I can't for the life of me think why anyone could be jealous of me- I have nothing! Every day is a struggle.
I just thought I'd up date this post and let you know what happened following the time I first posted.
Last year I was awarded an "Employee of the month"award.I had only been in my job for 4 mths.However,a colleaque who had been there for 20yrs and never won,instead of congratulating me,piped up "They should scrap those awards,I've never won anything in 20 yrs"! Wow talk about bitter and twisted.And with that attitude should she be suprised she's never won?lol
Just do your best at work,keep your head down and don't take any crap from anyone.Speak up for yourself when needed,and stand your ground.You'll be fine.
Find your place in the office and steer clear of the man and woman who have it in for you, Any romantic relationship ideas keep for outside the workplace, so you keep your Private life Private, works best.
David.