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Alcohol dependency

My husband and I are in our late 60's. He drinks a bottle of wine every night. I am worried about the consequences of this. He becomes extremely angry if say anything about it, however I approach the subject. I have tried everything even AA. We have no family . I am at my wits end and it is making me unwell .. I would like to talk to about it ...


Created By on 09/10/2015

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bobo5000
8th Sep 2016 18:26:44
0
Thanks for voting!
My husband drinks too he starts at 11pm and drinks till 5pm it was easier when he worked now he's retired it's worse we have tried to get him help he goes crazy we can't travel because he doesn't get up till 1 why? Cause he drinks all night have to be home at 11 pm cause that's when he starts drinking no one knows this secret except my kids who are grown One is married the other is at unIversity kids say leave why are you with him well I don't know and don't know where to go it's easier said then done I don't want to live alone during the day it's normal we shop go on trips etc. He only drinks at night I go to sleep he sits downstairs and watches tv all night the toll it's taking on his body is his problem I don't bother trying to change him if something happens it's on him not me anyway wish to chat I'm here bo
Marley444
26th Apr 2016 10:52:38
0
Thanks for voting!
I have a daughter at University and am increasingly concerned about how much alcohol is consumed by her and her friends, and on a regular basis too. I have recently found when she comes home on a break, she is very keen to have a drink most evenings ... on the positive side she has never dabbled with drugs, unlike many of her old friends, so I am glad of that, however I do worry about her drinking. Does anyone else feel the same?
Brabs43
18th Mar 2016 15:20:52
1
Thanks for voting!
Please detach and seek some help and support for YOURSELF. You cannot fix him he is the only one that can do that and hopefully he will but in the meantime you should not be the subject of his abuse.
shunter
12th Jan 2016 08:18:57
0
Thanks for voting!
Angel you can talk til you are blue in the face BUT its HIM that has to make the decision to pack in boozing & if he hasn't sunk low enough yet he WONT pack it in - The MORE you & all the Well intentioned "Friends" Nag & cajole him The LESS notice he'll take of you, We Advised Cajoled nagged implored Pleaded etc etc, with my brother in law but it Made not one iota of difference
We had carpets & curtains ruined with urine -vomit - plus the stink of Cann abis everywhere &
now we are the rotten buggers Because we couldn't cope with him when his own kids had evicted him-- he is now pushing up the plantlife in the local cemetery Maybe if you let your feller read this
it MAY hit the spot -- but I doubt it, John Barleycorn is a tough one to take on----
celtwitch
6th Nov 2015 12:23:34 (Last activity: 6th Nov 2015 22:46:49)
1
Thanks for voting!
Been there, done it, got the tee shirt, and it's got sick on it!
I think that there are 10 units in a bottle of wine, so hubby is knocking back 70 per week, which is 2.5 times his 'safe' amount, it can only end badly if he doesn't cut down massively or, preferably stop.
We are less able to cope with alcohol when we get older and the damage will be serious if he doesn't admit that what he is doing is wrong.
But, don't nag him, just leave information, in the form of leaflets that you can pick up from your GP surgery, around the house, in the loo, in his shed, the garage, the car etc.
Is there a reason for his drinking, is he depressed, grieving, worried about something, is this a new 'trend' or has he always been a toper?
Response from margaritta made on 6th Nov 2015 22:46:49
My husband was an alcholic,I tried all our married life to change him,so sad,he died in August this year,I feel so sad,and such a waste of life,he was 63!
All I can say to you,is look after you and try Al-non for family and friends.
thefilthycripple
9th Oct 2015 11:14:13 (Last activity: 21st Oct 2015 15:11:20)
-3
Thanks for voting!
Alcohol dependency is the worst thing you can inflict on your family and Silversurfers actively promote it ,shame on them ! All alcoholics start as social drinkers !
Response from Silversurfers Editor made on 9th Oct 2015 11:35:09
Whilst we share the odd humorous posts on Facebook about social drinking, usually restricted to weekends, we certainly don't actively promote heavy drinking, and assume that as we are an over 50s Lifestyle site, our members are responsible for monitoring their alcohol consumption. In fact we share awareness information in features such as this: https://www.silversurfers.com/health/harmful-drinking-50s-goes-unnoticed/ 😉
Response from thefilthycripple made on 9th Oct 2015 14:02:42
Thank you for your response ,it is much appreciated but I think you undersell your influence !
Response from sooz888 made on 21st Oct 2015 09:16:06
Of course advocating heavy drinking would be wrong, but the promotion of booze is everywhere in our society and to pick out this very balanced site as blameworthy is a pity. We know that alcohol is an addictive poison but it is so socially acceptable (almost a requirement?) and this is what needs to change. It happened with smoking so maybe it will come.
Response from Silversurfers Editor made on 21st Oct 2015 10:23:04
Thank you sooz888. Not sure if you have seen our latest Speakers Corner today, but there are new health warnings published today about the link of alcohol and dementia .. perhaps you would like to comment under this feature: https://www.silversurfers.com/speakers-corner/would-warnings-over-dementia-stop-you-drinking-alcohol/ and vote as well? Best wishes, Sally
Response from sooz888 made on 21st Oct 2015 15:11:20
Thanks sally, I have just seen the link and voted. It seems that you can't win whatever you post. I don't envy your position. My Mother has advanced dementia and didn't drink much until her later years. I can't say whether or not the booze accelerated her condition but it certainly added to her confusion and she seems far more lucid since her supply of alcohol has been withdrawn.
MrsH.
21st Oct 2015 03:38:44
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi Angel48, I read your post with sadness. I too know how it is, to watch someone you love, waste their life by abusing themselves with drink. My Son who's in his 30's does this & has for some years. Its a cruel addiction, as are all addictive products/habits. Your Husband is the only person who can decide for himself. I used to work caring for people who had been addicts in their younger days and it had made them into vegetables as a result, by furring the brain & nervous system. I often wished it were possible to show the scenes I witnessed everyday, to the public, just to make them aware! But, like you, I can only stand by and watch. I don't think threats of leaving will make anyone change their addictions, the power is too strong to give up, or they wouldn't have become dependant on it, in the first place. Praising & encouraging are much more effective tools to use than criticism or threats. It is sad you haven't got a friend to share your troubles with whenever it becomes too much for you. But, maybe it would help your husband to know how much you care & want his friendship back, so the time you have together can be made special & memorable. It will depend on the type of man he is & I can only wish you well, in your struggles. I hope he will see the light soon, just as I wish my Son will and everyone who is battling their own demons, will. Taking care of yourself is important too, so your GP could be helpful to you. I hope all works out for you.
jobubblejack
12th Oct 2015 16:20:49
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi My son lives with me and he also has a drink problem. He is in is forties and binge drinks at least 4 times per week. I spend hours worrying about his health but he doesn't think he has a problem . I agree with the previous writer. They have to want to change.
sooz888
12th Oct 2015 10:15:28
0
Thanks for voting!
Janemarie, I can understand why someone would become desperate enough to suggest that, but I do know that in my case it didn't work. My love of the booze was so strong that I thought if my partner wouldn't accept me as I was, I would rather we separated. Now in the clear light of sobriety, I realise how selfish I was being, but you can't tell people. They have to see it for themselves!
janemarie
12th Oct 2015 10:10:33
1
Thanks for voting!
Hi Angela I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have you ever considered telling him your leaving if he. Do sent stop it? And even packing a bag and go and stay with a friend to make him think you Ave left. Just enough to shake him up and see if he stops or gets help. X
sooz888
12th Oct 2015 10:07:10
1
Thanks for voting!
I do sympathise. I am 62, femail, and until February 6th this year I drank the equivalent of at least a bottle of wine most days, but usually in larger 'binges,' 2 or 3 times a week. It was damaging our relationship but I feared not drinking would be empty & boring and didn't want to face socialising or special occasions with booze. Then a friend recommended Jason Vale's book, 'Kick the drink...Easily' and something clicked. I gave up overnight, have lost 3 stones, walk 10-12 miles a day and feel so much better. I am still telling myself I can drink whenever I want, but I'm choosing not to at the moment. So far it is working. All the best to you both and I hope you find a solution soon.
Silversurfers Editor
9th Oct 2015 11:36:23
0
Thanks for voting!
Sorry to hear your concerns about your husband. Hopefully you will get some support here from some of our community members Angel148 🙂
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