Kinda lost - is it too late to start again at 65?
Watch this postI’m married to a 78 YO man and am not happy. This is my second marriage and I married him because I was on the rebound and lonely.
Now 19 years later I’m so unhappy. Is it too late to start over again?
I’m 65 and not happy.
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Also, I dont' think lockdown/post-lockdown is a good time for drastic changes, as the whole last year has been so, so ghastly. To do something drastic with one's life when things are not 'normal' is dangerous.
Can you write down for yourself a list of 'Why I am unhappy?'....a 'What's wrong with me and my husband?, and 'Bad things about him/good things about him.'
Does he know you are unhappy?
SO many men are hopeless at 'reading' women. We tend to be far more attuned to moods than they are, by and large, and he may have no idea you are unhappy.
What is it that is actually making you unhappy?
Many men find it hard to show affection, which is SO essential to a marriage (far more than sex I would argue!!!!!!), but so often it is wives who have to show affection, and be demonstrative. Just sitting on a sofa together, holding hands, or in physical contact, can be enough. it's the feeling of being wanted and valued that each partner in a marriage needs above all.
I agree with much you write. However, (and I don't think I am alone) the things I am looking for in a relationship apply much more to someone the same age as me (68) than to someone younger.
I was married to someone much younger than me and it was fantastic. I believe she was (mostly) happy from some of the things I have read since she passed away. I always thought I would pay more attention when I retired but we only had three months. Although I believe that I showed affection, I feel that I could and should have done much more. My warning therefore to other men is not to put anything off and live for today as you never know how much time you have.
Now all I would like is that companionship and closeness without all the add-on complicated stuff. I realise just how important these elements are and certainly regret that I missed opportunities to express my feelings.
I believe that such a relationship is more likely with someone around the same age as me who does not have those more physical expectations we all had when we were younger. By this I don't mean physical expressions of affection. As I mentioned at the start I don't think I am the only man that yearns for a meaningful relationship with someone of the same views and age-group.
I think that your ex husband took the cowards way of ending your
marriage, he could have at least talked face to face to tell you why
he felt he had to leave.You say that you live in hope of finding someone to share things with, I can only offer to share messages
with you if you would like, I live in Southampton so probably too far
away to meet for a coffee and chat. I have not been married so have
not had the bad experience that you have suffered. I love to travel
and hope to resume that activity as soon as next year all being well,
not long to go now. Well if you feel like chatting to me I am here to
listen, if not good luck with your quest. Best wishes,Terry.
Being let down by people is upsetting, especially if you are a genuine person with no hidden agenda. It hurts.
Off to get ready for a show... as I say lots of living to be done!
Take Care Folks.
x
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Almost 66 here, male, married but I do my own thing apart from being the family taxi.
I get out to music weekends with friends as my wife doesn't want to stay away, so off I go. Even abroad.
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