MOVING HOME ALONE ......AND TO A NEW PART OF THE COUNTRY
Watch this postHi All
Have you any experience of moving somewhere new on your own? I would love some input into my plan for the future, if you would be so kind.
My circumstances are as follows:
I have found myself a bit isolated since I am widowed and no longer out at work. I seem to have only acquaintances rather than close friends nearby. I have joined clubs and keep busy with hobbies, but the few people I have met seem set in their existing groups of friends or are reluctant to do anything in the evening. I have retired before getting my state pension as I no longer feel well enough to work.
Lack of funds is stopping me doing more on my own.
So I have come up with a plan to sell my home and rent somewhere instead; this will give me some more disposable income, enabling me to do more and to travel to meet old friends and family. It would also take away some concerns re house maintenance.
Now for my curved ball…… It has been suggested to me that I move 100+ miles away to Warwickshire…… a beautiful area with plenty of new places for me to explore and good transport links for visiting friends and family. I have done some online investigating and it certainly has potential. Now I am wondering what pitfalls there might be that I have not thought of.
🙁
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Women dance as beginners from make to male. The goods dancers teach the none dancers
To save. Dame good way to meet people. I never danced. Took me 4 visits to learn the basic moves. Cerock runs holiday to Barcelona for a dance week. Classes all over the world
Life came to me when I joined the newly started U3A chapter in my town ... after the initial meeting interests opened up like new paths in life and I put my tick on those I wanted to join..
4 yrs later my calendar is fuller and am enjoying life again ... it saved my life quite simply as it opened doors and windows in my life and it could for all of you too no matter what your age as we have many wise 90 plus members among us.
That is an option where ever you go and when ever you chose to.
not romanticly involved but happy
t.i really dont know what to do for the best.has anybody else had the same problem?
I live in a small village and am experiencing the same thing as someone else said. You end up with a lot of acquaintances, but are lucky if you find a good friend. Being old and single, doesn't help. The locals are friendly enough, but their conversations tend to be around local gossip, and I don't know who, or what they are talking about. And most of the time you see them are when you bump into them at the shops and then it's ' G'day how are you ?, nice weather etc. And then you never see them until you bump into them, maybe weeks later.
Most of my adult life I've lived in isolated places in the outback of Oz. But quite often people don't realise that living in an isolated place is different from being isolated and alone. For instance in Antarctica I woke up and had 14 mates to have breakfast with, have a chat with, have a beer with, a laugh with etc. and was never lonely. I also used to have a wife and kids. The kids live interstate and, Oz being so large, that's hundreds of miles away. So don't get to see them very often. To the lady who was thinking of selling up and moving into a flat to free up some money. I'd be very careful. I've heard so many tales of woe over here from older people who did that. ( in fact I was thinking of it myself. ) If you rent somewhere there is always the chance that they will sell the house, decide to put one of their kids in and turf you out,put the rent up, not maintain the place etc.etc. This could happen when you are older and it's difficult to move furniture etc., or be able to afford to move it.
I own my own home and live on the edge of a Bay with a beautiful view. So I've decided I'll be here until they take me out in a pine box, or end up in the Nursing Home across the Bay. Just wish I could find someone interesting and intelligent to talk with in my twilight years. Never thought getting old would be so hard.
Anyway I've probably talked enough, and will hit this button that says 'add your post ' and see what happens. I'm a slow typist so if anyone reads this, read it slowly and it won't be blurred. Ha!
Cheers, Wellies.
Thank you for your reply.
It's not that I am a really slow typist. I have typed thousands of words as I write short stories as a hobby. I mainly write true stories of my experiences in life and try to put a bit of humour in them. I haven't tried to publish any. They are mainly to leave to my kids for when I snuff it. I don't seem to have got any faster on my typing though. My main problem is tippigrafical errers where I have to go back and fix them. I can't touch type and do things like like hitting the caps lock instead of shift, look up and find my sentence is all in capitals,or haven't hit the space bar etc. Maybe the old 40 is the new 73, or may have something to do with the fact that we are all upside down over here ha!
I have just had a writing disaster. I have been writing a book, and according to the computer I had written just over 50,000 words. I was reading over it when I noticed I had missed the word ' from' from a sentence and tried to correct it. I typed in fr, and when I hit the 'o', the whole lot disappeared and I was just left with fr. I hunted everywhere for it, but couldn't find it. I rang my internet server and a tech. took over the computer. He spent a couple of hours on it but with no success. The next day I rang again to see if a different tech. would maybe have the answer. She also spent a couple of hours on it, but with the same result. It had disappeared into cyberspace.
Every time I had written a paragraph I had hit save to prevent this happening. To add insult to injury I had lent my external hard drive to a friend so that he could download some movies from it on to his laptop. When I asked him for it back, he told me he had lent it to his son who lives in town ( 100kms from here ). So was unable to back it up on that. Sooooo frustrating !!!!! Don't know if I have the energy, or the inclination to start all over again.
You were asking about the the Antarctic. I spent 3 separate years on expeditions down there ( 1970, 1980 and 1998 ) I was involved in Meteorology. My last time was 16 months as our icebreaker had an engine room fire on it's way to pick us up. They leased two Norwegian icebreakers to try and get us out but neither could break through the ice. It looked like we were going to be there for another year We finally got rescued by a huge Russian ice breaker who managed to batter its way through the sea ice. During winter the sea ice goes out for hundreds of miles and no ship can get through it. I have written a few short stories on my experiences down there. If I knew how to do it I would send you one.
I am on Skype too and talk fairly regularly with my brother in Scotland. Most of my old friends either don't have Skype, are dead, or I have lost contact with due to them moving, or me moving around.
I remember a few years ago someone showed me how to try one of these chat things. I was
about halfway through writing out my profile and went to make a cup of tea, When I got back there was a box saying that it had timed out and everything had disappeared. So I never bothered about it again until I thought I'd try this site. Does the same thing happen on this site.?
Anyway better send this before it disappears.
Cheers, Wellies.
I've been over there a few times. The way things are going, next time maybe I'll stay. There are so many places I want to see.
Trump is making a mess here. Have to go.
I am incredibly lonely here....yet it's my birth county ! Friends have died etc, so I do need new company , to meet up , have a laugh with, go for a meal/ walk/ pub etc.
So, if there are any others similar to me ...in the north Yorks area...please post back then we could meet up for a chat !? I still have my campervan and will be getting out and about in this again come the better weather. But new friends are a must.....anyone interested ??? Forgot to say, I'm easy to get on with , and can chat or listen.....honest !
I have recently moved back to Scarborough I'm lucky I know a lot of people here but be happy to meet up for chat and coffee. I'm not sure were you are but only problem is I don't drive...
I totally understand the difficulties. Making new friends can be tricky and as you say a lot of people are already entrenched in their own groups,
I have recently moved from Scarborough to Barnsley (back to my roots...and I know most people would moved the other way!!) I lived in Scarborough for 7 years looking after parents. The draw of moving for me was being closer to family - albeit certainly not on their doorstep. But when it comes to making friends I have started from scratch. Ive done the volunteering bit - and still do - so I have made acquaintances - but a close friendship comes slowly.
I have realized that the danger is taking your problems with you, and if I had difficulties making friends in Scarborough - then why should things be different in Barnsley? Maybe we need to be braver and actually risk rejection and do the inviting - rather than waiting to be invited - for a coffee/ a natter etc....just a thought
I hope this makes sense!! But whatever you decided - I think this site is a good start!!
Audrey
Warwickshire is all you say it is. I live in Bedworth a cheap, very friendly small town just north of Coventry. My partner comes from Southwold. If we can be any help, let us know.
I have never regretted the move.
I joined Way Up and JDs (widows social groups) and went to local meetups. It has taken several years but I now have friends up here not just people I am friendly with. And I gt a new job fairly easily too.
So I say go for it 🙂
BUT, it takes effort and guts to keep going out to meet strangers, they don't come knocking. Basically you can't run away from problems, just run to new opportunities 🙂
In the last 13 years I have moved three times and for me it is a nightmare. Moving alone is exhausting, or it was for me. And moving from one area to another does not "change how people" build friendships or ultimately view their life-long friends. You merely move from one area to another but life remains the same with the same issues, just with different scenery. And I think it's this you need to really think about. And as for selling your home and privately renting, on the surface I'm sure it sounds attractive, but, sorry another but. I privately rent, but have absolutely NO security with it. Most landlords do not let to provide homes, they let to make profit, to make money out of people and often raise rents at the end of a tenancy. Most tenancy's are only 6-12 months, rarely longer and as I say at the end of the fixed term, they are likely to put your rent up, or give you notice. Now this may be okay if you're in your 40's or early 50's but there will come a time, when security of where you live, having a home, and not just a roof over your head, will prove invaluable. With renting you have to ask if you want to paint or change something, and as for trying to get new carpet or flooring when worn can be a real problem. Basically you have no choice as it's not your home but a landlords piggy bank. I am currently looking into getting a mortgage to buy, so I have my own as I age. Security of a home for me is the key to creating a stable and happy life - even though I feel isolated without someone close and significant in my life, I know moving a 100 miles away wont resolve that, you just move the same issues with you. But of course we are all different, you may be more adventurous than me, not mind not having your own home, so you must make the decision that YOU feel is right for you. I think as we age the importance of a close relationship/friendship is vital to our emotional health to share life's ups and downs - perhaps a register of people who like to move, or are looking for someone they can build a friendship with who may eventually move near them, even perhaps share a home. I'm sure there must be plenty of ladies, divorced, widowed or single who would welcome such an opportunity instead of spending the rest of their life alone. I wish you every success in whatever you decide to do. Good luck!