View comments by: Most Recent - first / last | Most Popular - first / last | Replies - hide / show

Being Alone

Can I ask am I the only person who feels incredibly lonely at times but am too scared to trust anybody? I had a couple of people asking me where I am etc. I said "sorry I am not on here to private chat" Afterwards I felt so rude. I have arrangements to go out & always cancel at the last minute. I would to hear if others feel like me. Thank you


Created By on 07/12/2016

Not a member?

You need to be a member to interact with Silversurfers. Joining is free and simple to do. Click the button below to join today!

jan19512003
25th Aug 2019 14:34:30
0
Thanks for voting!
Hi,
If anyone is within twenty miles of Farnborough Hants, I would be willing to meet up for a cuppa - chat - maybe even start up a meeting place for oldies Ha Ha!
There must be a lot of lonely people around, not only people looking for relationships, I'm convinced a lot of people might just want to talk and put the world to rights! 🙂
PatriciaB96
29th Jun 2019 12:08:08 (Last activity: 18th Aug 2019 10:38:27)
2
Thanks for voting!
Good afternoon , being alone is quite scary , and sad , I am like thay at times , but I am.constantly trying to find ways to keep myself busy and entertained , so I do alot of writing , stories or piems , what ever comes to mind , never be afraid too chat to some one , or go put for a coffee , a little bit of courage can go a long way .

Patricia
Response from jotteruk made on 18th Aug 2019 00:49:27
Hello, I started living alone in 1980 when I was 28 and although I would have preferred to be living with other people my own age, I didn't want to go out and socialise. I live in Aberdeen which is not a friendly town and I just don't get their sense of humour. A lot of people up here stay their entire life here and don't have any idea what it's like to move to a place where you don't know anyone. Also the people at work were unfriendly and some of them were bullies. In 1994 I tried having a lodger for company but she was a petty thief and she phoned Kasakstan on my phone and tried to get out of paying for it! Since then I've grown to like living alone - I can eat what I want when I want, watch what I want on TV, use the PC when I want, Go to bed when I want, go out when I want without having to tell anyone where I'm going and when I'll get back. I have a cat for company and all the time I'm at home I have the TV on - usually on BBC News. I've developed a keen interest in politics and get 4 newspapers every day on my tablet. I couldn't live with anyone now - they would get in the way!
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 18th Aug 2019 10:38:27
Good morning , over the time people do get used to the isolation , and maybe there is a trust issue , but in the end !I've can become lonely , without talking about your day , or anything interesting you want to share , communication is highly important for everyone , good luck in your life .
suzie555
21st Jun 2019 23:18:55 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2019 17:45:32)
0
Thanks for voting!
does,nt seem to be much chatting going on here? was hoping to make new friends n start talking hahaha
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 09:12:36
It takes take for people to talk most here, all I can say good luck in that , iv been on here about 3 weeks now and have only spoken to a few , .
Response from VegaLyra made on 22nd Jun 2019 17:32:57
Indeed, people do not seem to communicate on this site....
We hoped to make new friends here.
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 17:45:32
Yes Im afraid people seem to perfet to watch tv than having a chat with some people , sad really as a nation of people who dont communicate enough .
PatriciaB96
22nd Jun 2019 10:41:40
0
Thanks for voting!
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE , IN THIS SUNNY SIDEOF ESSEX
suzie555
21st Jun 2019 23:14:43 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2019 09:10:37)
0
Thanks for voting!
same here, i,m finding it difficult to get my head around how things work here too
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 09:10:37
It can be quite difficult , and slow process of getting a re from others , enjoy your day
PatriciaB96
21st Jun 2019 18:55:26 (Last activity: 22nd Jun 2019 09:08:04)
1
Thanks for voting!
Good evening some times I do , especially at night , when you want to chat about my day , some times it can be hard so much to say but no one to say it too .
Response from VegaLyra made on 22nd Jun 2019 06:34:34
Have a nice weekend, dear friend !
Response from PatriciaB96 made on 22nd Jun 2019 09:08:04
Good morning my friend vega , thank you and you also .
PatriciaB96
21st Jun 2019 18:58:57
0
Thanks for voting!
I agree with vega , people just dont want to chat , too busy doing other things
VegaLyra
21st Jun 2019 18:33:13
0
Thanks for voting!
There is not much communication on this site.....
Hammy2019
1st Feb 2019 17:41:10 (Last activity: 1st Feb 2019 18:28:55)
1
Thanks for voting!
Your not alone with that one. I m the same.
Response from Hammy2019 made on 1st Feb 2019 18:28:55
Thank you
ArchieUK
7th Dec 2016 08:49:34 (Last activity: 13th Jan 2019 21:22:53)
3
Thanks for voting!
You were not rude, it does you credit to keep your personal information personal until you know who you are talking to.
Response from Jazzy27 Original Poster made on 8th Dec 2016 22:53:08
Thank you Archie
Response from SueRosie made on 13th Jan 2019 21:22:53
That’s so true safety is paramount
Hibiscus1
14th Dec 2018 19:06:40 (Last activity: 15th Dec 2018 09:02:03)
0
Thanks for voting!
Hello, new here and the reason I have joined in is because I feel lonely.

I am 64 and have been separated from my husband for three years, estranged for longer. It takes two to tango, so..., cannot say it was all him. Difficulties have existed from the beginning, I just accepted the situation because of the children (now living independently).

Problems were basically sex and money, which is quite common. Threats of divorce loomed in the horizon all the time, like dark clouds in the distance. He was a good dad, and reasonable husband, but we were not happy. Now we are separated and I feel quite alone. Divorce now looms as a reality; next year.

I am shy and quiet, do not have community support, very few friends I see from time to time, but no one immediate. No family around, as they live abroad.

Very worried about where I will live after the house is sold, etc. Everything is so uncertain. At my age it feels like I have no time to start again with anything...

Just thought I might find some friends around here just to chat or even meet for coffee sometime.

All the best!
Response from CaroleAH made on 15th Dec 2018 09:02:03
Hi Hibiscus, welcome to Silversurfers. Sorry to hear about your problems and loneliness. Five years ago I was in the same position as you (at the same age) and it can be daunting. I'm no expert but I would recommend seeing a solicitor to find out what your "rights" are re the house and finance etc then you can start making plans. I joined my local U3A which has been brilliant - loads of interest groups ranging from Art through to Wine Appreciation. Many groups meet in members houses so that limits the numbers so you don't have to walk into a huge room full of people. We have a Travel group so there are people to go on holiday with so well worth Googling them to see what is on offer. Have you got any hobbies like photography or walking? There are often local groups to join and you will make new friends. By today's standards 64 is still fairly young so you have got plenty of time ahead to plan a good future for yourself. Good luck and if you want to private chat just drop me a message. 🙂 Carole
bryanjb
5th Aug 2018 13:50:07
0
Thanks for voting!
I live in the east Cheshire area iv joined east Cheshire social Wilmslow social singles and friends to be witch is in Stockport they are all friendly people they always make new people wellcome so if you live in this area come and join them
SilverBlue
29th Apr 2018 11:19:37
1
Thanks for voting!
I’ve just found a social club for single people, and of course like Brianjp says there is meet ups groups, google them and see what’s going on in your area.

Good luck with your search
bryanjb
11th Feb 2018 21:02:27 (Last activity: 29th Apr 2018 11:04:53)
1
Thanks for voting!
Iv just joined a thing called meet up if you google it it’s all over the country there’s all sorts of things things to do meeting up for a meal or meeting in a pub for a night out or going for walks the one I’m in is for singles people who have moved in the area or widowed or divorced iv met some really nice people and had some good nights out
Response from sarahe17 made on 28th Apr 2018 21:16:34
Thanks for letting us know about this group, just what I need. I will look into and hopefully be brave enough to join.
Response from bryanjb made on 29th Apr 2018 11:04:53
It is really good iv just started taking my sister as she is divorced she enjoyed it it’s just making that first move I’ve joined three groups now so I’m
doing something every weekend going out to a pub on a Friday or Saturday or going for a walk on a Sunday
beneDictus
7th Dec 2016 11:02:42 (Last activity: 11th Feb 2018 20:51:27)
1
Thanks for voting!
I agree. Being alone isn`t healthy, either physically and emotionally, in the long term. But, i think that the actual experience of it can be beneficial....One tends to develop a much clearer perception of the world in general, as well as their immediate surroundings, as there aren`t any distractions of any kind, apart from the usual daily hassles of worrying about making ends meet. But that`s just run of the mill concerns.
Response from Fontana made on 7th Dec 2016 22:02:55
I'm not quite alone as my husband is currently in a hospice where he is reaching the end of his life. I didn't expect to be in this situation when we got married 7 years ago, but he received his terminal diagnosis just 2 years later. I am already missing there being someone to talk to (well apart from my dog) and finding that things that my husband always did are more challenging than I thought, i.e. putting up a new blind, but I managed it in the end :0)

I plan to experience living alone for 12 months, to 'find myself' again and then see who or what life chucks in my direction
Response from Tyjen made on 8th Dec 2016 08:08:30
Sorry to hear you are in that situation Fontana, Ive been there and it isnt easy. (hugs)
Response from Georgie Girl made on 8th Dec 2016 10:51:15
Fontana, Tyjen, Jazzy27, and anyone else who has lost someone so close, I hope today and the future brings happiness to you all. Sincere best wishes.
Response from Tyjen made on 8th Dec 2016 13:23:18
Thankyou Georgie.
Response from bryanjb made on 11th Feb 2018 20:51:27
Iv just joined a thing called meetup if you google it it’s all over the country iv met some really nice people who are single some are people who have moved in the area or widowed like me or divorced there’s all sorts of things to do from going for a meal meeting in a pub or going for walks
Jinty121
1st Jan 2017 15:20:51 (Last activity: 6th Jan 2018 09:50:04)
2
Thanks for voting!
I feel your pain as I am just the same. I struggle with social situations and I put my name down for social events then find any excuse to remove my name from the list.
I have private chatted with one member of this site and was pretty horrified when he admitted that he was married. Although in actual fact he was doing nothing wrong just chatting to a female member I felt that he was in some way disrespecting his wife. I would not like it if my husband was chatting to a single female online!
Just spent the loneliest Christmas and New Year in my whole life and dearly want to change my solitary life!
I have to get myself out there and socialise but can I do so?
Response from Serendipity41 made on 1st Jan 2017 19:15:16
I understand where you are coming from totally as just spent the quietest Christmas in my life, just my son and me. I am now determined to join a local U3A to get up to speed on conversational French. Being an introvert, I find that most of the time I don't want to have constant contact with lots of friends, but that also leads to a very lonely existence and I don't want that either. Trying to find the right balance is tricky. Hopefully I will make it to the meeting and not find a reason not to go!
Response from Tyjen made on 2nd Jan 2017 09:57:06
I looked into joining u3a in my area but it was full of old people!
Response from Jinty121 made on 2nd Jan 2017 20:45:58
Serendipity41 at least you had your son I was totally on my own. I too am an introvert and it makes life so difficult. I do hope you make it to your group meeting. I'm still looking for groups etc local to myself which I could join. Trouble is I am full of good intentions but lack the follow through to actually go! I like walking in a group as you can walk and chat or just walk with very little chat if you feel overwhelmed. Right now the weather is not favourable for walking so there is a bit of a lull until spring.
Response from Jennis made on 5th Jan 2018 00:15:23
So many people who connect to feeling alone or lonely. I spent Christmas and new year totally on my own, slightly through choice - I refused a family invitation. I resolve not to be alone for Xmas 2018!
I left my partner 2 years ago, a bad experience and no regrets but now struggle to find friends, my family don’t understand and they are busy people.
I join clubs, work, volunteer etc etc. I think I chat well on a one to one basis but am never the life and soul of a party, don’t want to be.
I would like to start a group for like minded people on this subject. Support, sharing thoughts, perhaps meeting as a group has to be positive?
Response from ecarg made on 6th Jan 2018 09:50:04
Hi Jennis I sent you a private chat.Group meeting sounds good idea but would require various groups set up across the country,
petmum
5th Jan 2018 17:13:45
0
Thanks for voting!
I live alone by choice, along with my 2 dogs and 2 cats, and I will stop to talk to people when walking my dogs. I don't have children, I was one of 6 children and all 3 of my elder siblings died younger than I am now. I do have a younger sister and lots of nieces, nephews and adult great nieces and nephews. My sister lives in a little bubble and, if she's ok, I never hear from her. I used to ring her regularly, but she never rings me unless she wants something, so I've stopped ringing her now. I had an issue recently though, when we had nearly a foot of snow in a couple of days and it was 10 days before I could get much further than my doorstep, and ended up having to dig myself out. I didn't get one phone call rom my family to check I was ok. I don't particularly care about having invites or not from the family, as I never like to leave the dogs for too many hours, but a phone call from them occasionally would be appreciated.
Tyjen
7th Dec 2016 08:59:35 (Last activity: 10th Nov 2017 18:19:00)
0
Thanks for voting!
Its difficult to trust on the internet, I never volunteer information unless I feel comfortable with it. Theres nothing wrong in not wanting to private chat or wanting to chat in private, do what you feel comfortable with no one is going to judge you.
Im not keen on private chat and I wont meet up with anyone from the internet, after all you never really know who you are talking to!
Response from Jazzy27 Original Poster made on 8th Dec 2016 22:52:19
So true. Thank you
Response from britishtea made on 10th Nov 2017 18:19:00
i agree with that.
britishtea
10th Nov 2017 18:06:32
0
Thanks for voting!
Have u had a bad relationship in the past
12michael
24th Sep 2017 08:52:54
0
Thanks for voting!
I am single , but although alone and never married , I have found myself taking various directions to relax away from my flat.
I go at least 3 times a week to Bicester via Buckingham the only way at present on the bus, I have also through getting to know other passengers , who board at villages between my town and Buckingham , and have got chatting on first name basis .
The other I was involved with a local U3A but it did not appeal to me.
Today, I go to see shows have weekends away or in some cases a week, although a local tour operator, if not people on the coach from where I live as its a localish operator you soon start chatting on the coach or at your destination through your meals in the Hotel or on a day trip which might be part of the coach trip intinary.
Page 1 of 2

Community Terms & Conditions

Content standards

These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.

You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.

Contributions must:

be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.

Contributions must not:

contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.

Nurturing a safe environment

Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.

We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!