Looking or frienship
Watch this postNew here. Recently bereaved so looking for likeminded people to help and talk through things.
Community Terms & Conditions
Content standards
These content standards apply to any and all material which you contribute to our site (contributions), and to any interactive services associated with it.
You must comply with the spirit of the following standards as well as the letter. The standards apply to each part of any contribution as well as to its whole.
Contributions must:
be accurate (where they state facts); be genuinely held (where they state opinions); and comply with applicable law in the UK and in any country from which they are posted.
Contributions must not:
contain any material which is defamatory of any person; or contain any material which is obscene, offensive, hateful or inflammatory; or promote sexually explicit material; or promote violence; promote discrimination based on race, sex, religion, nationality, disability, sexual orientation or age; or infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person; or be likely to deceive any person; or be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party, such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence; or promote any illegal activity; or be threatening, abuse or invade another’s privacy, or cause annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety; or be likely to harass, upset, embarrass, alarm or annoy any other person; or be used to impersonate any person, or to misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person; or give the impression that they emanate from us, if this is not the case; or advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.
Nurturing a safe environment
Our Silversurfers community is designed to foster friendships, based on trust, honesty, integrity and loyalty and is underpinned by these values.
We don't tolerate swearing, and reserve the right to remove any posts which we feel may offend others... let's keep it friendly!
im here if you ned to chat, im now 6 years bereaved and think I can feel your pain.. if you still need an ear then lets chat. Ive recently taken early retirement so have much moe time.. and finding ways to fill my days
Jackie x
Now the sun is on its way and more jobs to do...but at least its a bit warmer.. the water problems sounds horrendous for people and for such a long time, hopefully all sorted on at least nearly complete...
Do you enjoy reading? Ive started using Borrow Box an app linked to the Libraries which has amazing choices. saves me searching for my glasses and finding space for yet more books. Usually enjoy listening whilst ironing or painting.
There appears to be some amazing classes on here-well looks like it- has anyone tried them? The Goldster section? I must admit there seems to be a lot on here but I find it a difficult site to navigate, Ive replied to comments only to see they're 5 years old lol!
Easter- whats the plan? My granchildren want an egg hunt.. should be fun, lets hope the weather holds out. Unusually I have a little one who doesn't like chocolate- any type- yes you heard no chocolate! So we buy the little plastic eggs and fill them with other bits... Really strangely I find myself saying things that my mum used to say... "the eggs are not as nice or as chocolately as they were when I was a child". Im sure all the sweets/ chocolates used to be inside the eggs and Im sure the chocolate was a better quality but maybe as we didn't have everything 'on tap' and really enjoyed our 'treats' they tasted better who knows?
Now I know im getting old... where has the time gone? Where did you grow up? Have you always lived in the same area? I'm from London originally.. I loved it, lived in flats ( not so nice now) but used to play out until all hours, with the other kids playing so many games... Runouts, chainnee ( we called it) Bulldog,, so much fun... I can remember the long holidays, using the Red Bus Rover which was only about 10p .we could go on any red bus all day and we did! Gosh so worrying now what we got up to, think Id be worried sick if my grand kids did that although to be fair Im not sure if they have the same street cred and sense if you know what I mean? Yes, definitely getting old,,, but lots of lovely memories.... How about you? What do you remember from your childhood? Sorry for the long ramble. Jackie x
Im sorry youre facing this long road,,, just reach out when you feel you can, Being on here is a good start, I fund I could sa=y things that im unable to say to family as I was too busy helping them with their grief.
Where abouts are you from?
Here if you need a chat
xx
I am from Kent. I find it's the little things that catch you. One cup of tea, one bowl of cereal.
I think you just have to take one day at a time.
Just keep going.
Being on your own is a difficult transition, all the little chats and remarks that you would normally make and the shared interests make it dificult to experience. But you will get there- wherever that is! Its diiffuclt to keep biusy and fill time depending on what you like to do and whats around you. There is a little club nearby that has some activities/ excercises and I think I might volunteer in a charity shop if they need support just to keep me busy. Have you anything like that around you?
Speak soon Jackie
xx
Though I am sure we all go through the same process. Some easy, others not so.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Just dipping my toes in the water…..
I lost my wife to pancreatic cancer 16 months ago, so still working through that. We had been married for 49 years and were looking forward to growing older together. I’m 71 and keep myself fit in the gym, plenty of walking. Generally I keep myself busy during the daytime: gym, learning the guitar, and I do a bit of volunteering. I am enjoying developing my culinary skills, gardening and housework etc.
however, when night comes, I still feel a bit lost, sat on my own. I don’t enjoy going to bed on my own and then waking up to realise I’m still alone, I find that tough. I wonder if others feel like this and it it gets any better with time? I don’t think anyone can replace my wife, but I miss female company, friendship and of course hugs. Any advice welcome.
Thanks
Paul
I totally agree with your comments on night time loneliness.
I lost my darling husband five months ago after a seven year battle with various cancers.
I have a great circle of friends, but they have partners and it is not the same when we get together. Evenings are a nightmare as you say.
I try watching tv but most of the programs were programs I watched. With my husband. I tend to go to bed early and try to puzzles etc., on my iPad until I feel tired.
I have joined a small group of people, that I didn’t know before and are on their own, we sometimes have a meal out and chat. This is
Helping. Take care.
He was 83 and we'd been married for 61 years. I've got 2 sons who are really great. 5 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren.
It would lovely to chat so hopefully you'll keep in touch.
It's been 10 months since my Husband died, I'm still trying to find my feet. Like you, not sure how I feel sometimes.........it's difficult trying to keep busy 24/7.
I've never lived on my own before and it is all new, trying to cope with your feelings as well as running a home on your own, all the jobs we used to share. The last year seems like a nightmare when I look back on it. I still don't sleep well, feel drained a lot of the time. thanks for coming back to me, I'm here if you want to chat more
It's so hard to be without someone you've spent your life with, isn't it? I've had lots of different jobs in my life, won't bore you with a list of them all, the last 10 years of working before retirement was working for an insurance company, John, my Husband and I both worked there, so spent more time together over those years, meeting for lunch, etc......he drove us there and back as I don't drive - one of the big regrets of my life ...................we both came from the Eastend of London and back in the day I didn't need to drive as buses and tubes everywhere...so easy to get around and then 25 years ago we moved to Lincolnshire, I still didn't feel the need to drive as we went everywhere together.............hence me being more isolated now. To be honest, I don't feel the need to go out much and when I have it just doesn't feel the same without John.
My home is a complete mess with most of my flooring taken up due to the leak but, when it's all dried out (whenever that'll be the way things are going) a lot of it will be decorated, etc. John had hospice at home care and I really need the room he was in changed, like your experience the memory is so strong, I don't think we'll ever get over that. People have said maybe I should move, I don't want to though, we spent so many happy years here.
We both loved our garden and spent a lot of our time out there, I couldn't even walk round it last year without crying, he was everywhere out there. Time does help things though as I went out there last Sunday and cut the roses back, over did it a bit and went giddy! My fault for not eating first. I agree also with the dark nights, etc. I've never been a fan of winter ..so dismal and even more so this year, hopefully we'll both feel a bit better about things when the lighter nights and warmer weather is with us. I'm also trying to get back into some of my other hobbies, cross stitch and making cards, have made a start but, find it hard to get into the mood to do them sometimes.
You take care and hope to chat again soon
together with a similar story, I was sorry to hear of your loss, have never
been married myself, but have lost a close friend to cancer, so have a
small inkling to what you are both feeling right now.
Anyway my name is Terry, I am nearly 75 ( March 4th ) and live in a one
bedroom flat in a retirement building in Southampton, I am a bit of a travel
nut, and like you, do not enjoy the winter months, I usually go to Africa in
the cold months, but had to settle for 10 days in Cape Town in October
last year, as had hospital appointments in the New Year.
I’m sorry if I am butting in to your messages, but if you feel that you would
like a male perspective on things, I am always here if you want to chat.
Take care, and stay warm, all best wishes, Terry.
lot of irons in the fire as they say, with all the people that you are reaching
out to on this site. I have been on here for 2 years on and off, and have had
chats with many people from all over the place. ( that’s the trouble when
you have too much time on your hands haha ) I do like the diversity of
cultures that I hear from.
It’s a pity that you have not had the chance to travel, at least not to far flung counties like African ones, I love it there and am hoping to go on
one more overland trip in September, that will be my last, as time is
marching on unfortunately. I am a nature lover, and enjoy seeing sights
like the great migration of Wildebeests from the Serengeti to the Masai
Mara,but realise that this sort of adventure travel is not for everyone so
I tend to travel on a truck with a like minded group of people of all ages
and nationalities. Well will not bore you with too many details, so will leave
you to get on with your day, hope you have a good one, and I hope that
we can chat again, all best wishes, Terry.
to be chatting to a few of us. It is nice when you get replies, as some
people never respond, still that’s life.
Yes I do have some lovely memories of sights that I have seen, and things
that I have done during my trips to Africa. I have walked with Lions in
Zimbabwe, played with Cheetahs in Namibia, and ridden a lovely Elephant
on a game drive in Zambia, but the biggest thrill that I had, was sitting in
the Devils pool on top of the Victoria Falls, something that you can only do
at low water, or you would be swept over. I hope that I can do another trip
in September or October, so it may not be over just yet.
It’s a bit of a grey day here in Southampton, and I think that rain is on the
way this afternoon, so better get my shopping done this morning.
Well another week end is here again, have you anything planned, or do you play it by ear? I usually like to watch the sport on a Saturday afternoon
and if it’s a nice day, I like to go for a walk along the river bank and people
watch. Well better not waffle on too much, I sometimes can’t stop writing
that’s why I usually use email to message people, then our messages can’t
be read by everyone, not that there is anything untoward in them, but a
little privacy. So have a good day, and I hope that the weather stays good
so that you can get out into your garden, we are lucky here as a couple of
our residents tend our garden, and it looks lovely in the summer, we have
a lot of daffodils out already, so spring must be on the way, take care, and
stay safe and warm, best wishes, Terry.
Don't feel like you are butting in and it may be good to have a male joining this chat.
Wow, you certainly do get around! John, my Husband and I used to love going on holidays, not as adventurous as you though, the furtherest we've been was on a cruise about 26 years ago when we went to Egypt and Israel. Other than that we loved Greece amongst other places. Although I'd probably love to go on a safari, not sure I'd be brave enough!! Sadly, we were not able to travel much in the short time of our retirement as we cared for my Mum here after a year of freedom, she passed away just 3 months after John.
I have a friend that I met through a gardening group on facebook that lives in Southampton, looks like a nice place to live, I'm in Lincolnshire. From the Eastend of London originally and moved here about 25 years ago. Due to work, etc never really got the chance to make many friends here. My children live 2 hours away and I don't get to see them as often as I would like.
Nice to meet you and chat
Jackie
Seems we do have a lot in common! I've just had another trench dug to find out if leak still ongoing, will probably have to have plaster taken off the walls as well. Not sure what's going to happen after that................guess it's keeping me busy. How lovely that your Daughter met her partner through your eow problem, you never know what's going to happen if life, do you?
It's good that that guy has been good to you throughout your trauma, must be great to have someone to lean on.
Weather has changed here so no plans to get into the garden for the time being, was supposed to have gardeners here today and yesterday to cut the hedges but, they said due to weather conditions can't do it but, will hopefully be back next week, fingers crossed, it's so difficult finding reliable gardeners that don't cost the earth.
Keep well and warm
Jackie
Like you I started going out with my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. So many years together. It's a lifetime so losing him so suddenly has created a big hole in my life. It's a shame all of us on here can't get together.
Hope you are well
Best wishes
Leila
I had a message form Janet last evening that I replied to earlier this morning. What with all these Js I will have to be careful what I say haha.
Anyway I hope that you are keeping well in yourself, you seem to have
been through the wringer recently and I am sorry for you loss, I never
married, as joined the Army when I was 17, and stayed in for 12 years, I
saw a lot of Army marriages fail, due to postings and being apart from
wife’s so took the decision quite early on.
I think that you can see that I have the travel bug, and also work out that
my favourite place on Earth is Africa, so many cultures and an abundance
of wildlife that I love above all, so no time in the past for a wife and kids.
Southampton is ok, but we have so many foreign students here that are
all over the place. Have never been to Lincolnshire but it must be nice and
quiet there being a rural county.
I hope that you get to do a bit of travelling in your dotage haha, and you could always join me on the truck when I do my next overland trip,
I promise no creepy crawlers,( hope you are making notes Janet, if you
are reading this ) well you now have food for thought, so take care of
yourself, and stay warm, all best wishes, Terry.
you get a good nights sleep, and wake up refreshed for the week end ahead,
Will look forward to your next message when you are up for chatting again,
Sleep well, Terry.
Hope you are feeling better today.
Like you yesterday was a bit rough, cried most of it - my Daughter rang on Thursday evening and mentioned my upcoming wedding anniversary on Monday, just set me off. I've been trying to ignore it up until then.
This time last year John was in hospital and he managed to get them to let him out for our anniversary.............to many memories coming up now and I know I'm going to be up and down.
Not to bad today, made myself be busy..............even made a card for a friends birthday next month, not one of my better efforts but, as said before am slowly getting into doing the things I used to.
Hope to hear from you when you are feeling better.
Take care
Jackie
Yes, make sure you don't get us J's muddled up, lol.
John, my Husband was in the Army too, he was in the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment, he did three years, we met the first time just before he joined up, liked each other immediately but, I was going out with someone else then. When the other guy and me broke up a friend told John - he'd joined up in the meantime - and we started to write to each other, met up and the rest is history, as they say. Once I'd had our Son, John decided to leave the Army as wanted to spend more time with us.
I guess we all make life choices and I don't regret a second of being with John and our children, my Son has never married.....lived with a few girls, mind you. Think he just likes doing his own thing!
I can imagine how exciting it must be for you to travel, Africa must be fascinating to visit. When my Daughter left Uni, some time ago now, she travelled around a lot of the world and has lived in a couple of European countries. Not sure where she got here adventurous genes from! Thanks for the offer but, on a truck overland in Africa, hmmmm.......
Keep well
Jackie
Yes, it's so difficult to live alone after all those years spent together, never been on my own before.
I lost 2 stone last year, partly through looking after John and my Mum, but also not eating properly, as you say cooking for one is tough to get used to. I did get to a point where I needed to do things and started to cook again, like I used to. I batch cook and freeze into portions just big enough for me so I always have something in the freezer. It was hard at first as I cooked a lot of the meals John and I used to like and even eating them brought memories back and I'd cry sometimes just eating them. Am better at it now, although some things still stir memories of him and my Mum. I do get shop bought ready meals as well, not as many as I did at first.
I understand the 'leaving a big hole' in your life........we only had one year of retirement to ourselves and had planned many things to do ................my Stepdad, a wonderful man passed away suddenly and my Mum wasn't able to take care of herself, so we made the decision to have her live with us, in many ways I don't regret that decision, but due to her disabilites, etc we didn't get out much or take holidays and then the awful pandemic hit and we went out even less. Then the awful diagnosis for John and within five months he was gone, a month after losing him my Mum was diagnosed with cancer and she just gave up, although they only gave her the same as John, five months she was gone within two. I don't think anyone can understand the loss I feel after losing two of the people I love the most.
Life is so unfair, isn't it.............I have no idea what I'm going to do with the rest of my life, I don't want to sit moping around, but get anxiety attacks when I think of going out on my own. I've only been out a couple of times since last summer and only with people I know and my children. I'm hoping once the weather changes I'll start to want to go out.
Keep well Leila
Jackie
You seem to have a happy married life, and I expect that you miss your
late husband dearly, it’s good that you have children to help you through
the tough times.
My offer to join me on the big yellow truck was tongue in cheek, and not
an offer I expected you to take up, as I have said to many people, it’s not
the sort of adventure travel that suits everyone, but still time to change
your mind HaHa. Have had a quiet day today after the morning shopping
trip, very cold wind down here, so spent the afternoon watching the sport
on the TV.
I was pleased to hear that your daughter has done a bit of travelling, maybe I should ask her to join me, ( only joking ) well not much on the TV
that appeals to me this evening, so will have a read and an early night.
So enjoy the rest of your evening, and stay warm, best wishes, Terry.
Yes, we did have a happy marriage, had a few rough patches, like a lot of people but, the love was always there. I think it's different for my children, they have their own lives to live and I try not to cling to them to much, would like a bit more contact and visits from them than I get but, such is life!
I guessed the 'offer' to accompany you on the yellow truck wasn't serious............what would you have done if I jumped at the chance though, lol. Given half the chance, I think my Daughter would love to do something like that, she still has the travel bug, I think but, with a 10 year old Son now and divorced not sure she (like me) could afford it these days.
I'm not into many sports but, do remember Saturday afternoons as a youngster watching the wrestling with my parents which I loved. Then with my Husband started to get into boxing, he did some when in the Army, more recently got into golf and I did enjoy watching that on the telly. My Mum was a huge tennis fan and I kind of got into that over the years she lived with us, but not something I would choose to watch now...........I might have the golf on when it's on though.
Shame nothing interested you on telly last night and that you had a good read instead, think I might do more of that when I can sit in the garden............what type of books do you like to read, I really like James Patterson and Tom Clancy. I got a couple of Richard Osman books for Christmas pressies and will try to get into them soon.
Stay well
Jackie
a good marriage, and hope that the memories will stay with you.
Yes, I wonder what I would have done if you had decided to go on my
African Safari, I expect that I would have told you to Google Absolute
Africa to see what overlanding was all about, then you would have
probably have changed your mind. Your daughter sounds that she might
have enjoyed doing one of these trips.
I do enjoy my sport, but I like the rugby and horse racing, could not watch
a tennis match without getting a neck ache, I can give or take golf but
like the Majors.
My favourite author was Wilbur Smith, but he unfortunately he passed away last year aged 85. He wrote loads of books, 2 of which were made
into films, he mostly wrote books set in Africa, I know Peter James to talk
too, as he had a flat in a building that I used to look after in London,but he
lives in Brighton.
Have you read Janet’s group message? I sent a reply earlier.
My sister has 2 of Richard Osmans books, that she was reading when I went to dog sit for her a couple of weeks ago.
Well had better finish off for now, as have got my laundry in at the moment.
So enjoy the rest of your day, and thank you once again for the message,
take care, Terry x
I was trying to think about things the other day as I know you and Leila both had to suffer the sudden deaths of your husband's, I had five months of knowing what was going to happen and still don't think I believed it was true, still get thoughts that he'll come home.
few days, I can’t imagine what was going through your head at the time
of your Anniversary, I can only hope that it will get a bit easier as time
goes by, but being such a short time ago since you lost your husband
things must of been hard for you.
As you know, there are people on here that you can chat to, and some
of them have had the same experience as you, so I hope that you feel
a little better soon, we miss your messages on here, so take care, I send
you all best wishes, Terry x
The week before our anniversary John was taken into hospital as couldn't breath, they let him come home on our anniversary and it was such a happy day. Trying to remember how happy we were made it all the more difficult last week. He slowly deteriorated after that, lost so much weight, he was always such a fit man, never ill.
I'll get through this, given time. I feel for you in regards to your Mother in Law passing away, mine did just before Christmas, so that's three losses in 8 months.
I'll leave it there before I get to maudling and hope you are okay.
Jackie
bad week, you have been through a lot over the last year or so,
and there is nothing much that anyone can say to you that will
make things better, except what people have been saying, that
in time it will get easier for you, I truly hope that is the case for
you. I hope that you have a better week ahead, but on this site
you have always got a friendly person to speak with, so not all
doom and gloom, Am here as are others, if you need a shoulder
to cry on, please take care, and stay safe and warm, all love,
Terry x
see that you had viewed the Absolute Africa site, and I agree with
you, the photos and the locations that they were taken gives even
me a warm feeling, and I have done 5 previous trips through that
great continent.
Was also pleased to see your kind message to Jackie, as she seems
down in the dumps at the moment, told her myself that there is
always someone on here that will listen to her and try to help.
my message, was about to add that I had a quiet birthday, all 4 of
my sisters phoned as I said not to send cards.
I’m sure that your Haggis hunting would match anything I had
done, and as you said, they are harder to spot than Lions, plenty
of them around.
Well have an enjoyable evening, and hope that we can chat
again soon, take care, Terry x
I've gone mad and booked a holiday for the end of May. I've booked a cruise. We used to go on one every year so it's going to be very emotional. He loved them and could really relax. It's a very strange feeling that when I'm in company I feel it more than when I'm on my own. It's like being a spare part. Especially when others have their partners with them. I suppose I'm lucky in a way that there are others who have lost a partner who have no one. No children or family or friends. That's a tragedy..
Do keep in touch.
Keep well
Leila
you have a.good book on your kindle,
Same sort of day down this part of the country, snow is on the way
but luckily we don’t get heavy snow due to the salty sea air, still
I only stayed outside for the minimal amount of time, I fortunately
don’t have Arthritis in my joints, but still hate the cold weather,
that’s why I usually go to Africa in the winter to get a bit of sunshine.
Well hope you sleep well, enjoy your book, stay warm, all best
wishes, Terry x
Am having trouble finding posts lately! It was so tough, don't think I grieved for John at first as was so busy filling in all the paperwork, etc that goes with someone dying, backwards and forwards to hospitals, etc with Mum and then her diagnosis was such a shock .............she always said if she found out she had cancer she would curl up and die..............that's exactly what she did, just gave up. My Stepdad died three years ago, suddenly from a heart attack, he was a wonderful man and did everything for Mum (she had a few disabilities, which is why she came to live with us). I was at a total loss after Mum died, I was so used to looking after her and didn't know what to do with myself, to much time on my hands. I'm hoping that once the weather improves I'll start going out and about a bit, trouble is I just don't know what I want to do. So used to just getting in the car if we went shopping or a day out to the coast.........not being able to drive where I live is a real pain and none of the real friends that I have drive either.
I think it's wonderful that you've book to go on a cruise, are you going with friends or family? I'm sure you will have a lovely time. I've only been on one cruise, some years ago now, with John, we did enjoy it.
Nothing wrong with being a Bank Manager Leila, many, many years ago I used to work as a cashier for NatWest Bank and we had a lovely Bank Manager then.
Take care and hope to chat again soon
Jackie
No snow here as yet!! I live in South Lincs, about 20-30 minutes from Boston, we border Cambridgeshire and Norfolk amongst other places, used to work in Peterborough which is about 30 minutes away as well.
I agree with the hibernation thing, it's what I do most winters. Thankfully, I don't really suffer with arthritis, a little in my thumbs oddly. I was told years ago that I would suffer arthritis in my ankle after a fall where I broke my leg and dislocated my ankle, had to have an operation on the ankle to put it back. I'll make you laugh now, the fall was getting out of the car, yup not many people have the skills I do!! I also think that due to using crutches at that time has caused the arthritis in my thumbs, was never shown how to use them correctly.
I just hope this is the last of bad weather for now, I'm really looking forward to things warming up a bit, am sure it's affecting my mood too.
I've been thinking a lot lately of how our (and others) partners died and have been afraid to mention it on here but, trying to figure out if it's better to lose someone suddenly or watch them fade from the person they were. Obviously, both are traumatic in there own way and I wouldn't wish either on anyone, just trying to figure things out in my head as part of my feeling low now is down to the fact that this time last year John was here, all be it in a hospital bed and being nursed by me, nurses from the Hospice and carers coming in - I keep getting flashbacks at things that happened and what is coming up - I wish our brains had an off switch!!
I'm off now to chase my insurance company up, not heard anything from them for two weeks since the floor was dug up again - another thing to cope with.
Take care, hope you don't get snowed in - think you'll get more than us further South, keeping warm is the main thing.
Chat soon
Jackie
at 4am in the morning writing this message, but woke up at 3am and
could not get back to sleep, so got dressed and made a cup of tea and
came in here and found your latest message.
It is snowing here, quite heavy and it is settling on the ground, think that
we will have this for the next couple of days if the forecast is correct.
I didn’t have much of a productive day yesterday, had an email from
Absolute Africa to say that the trip that I had booked had been cancelled
for the dates that I wanted to go, so have either got to look at another
trip for the same dates, or get a refund of my deposit. I would not have
enough money saved for any of the earlier dates they offered me, and I
did not want to wait until December, so have a decision to make, maybe
that’s what is keeping me awake.
I don’t think that I will be out for long today, I do not like the cold weather
as I have a heart condition that is worse in cold weather so will probably
stay in most of the day, will have to pick up one of my books and have a
read with a nice cup of tea.
At least I hope that you have slept well, and not read too many chapters
of your book on your kindle.
Well have a good day, stay safe and warm, all best wishes, Terry x
off I hope, probably had things on my mind. Sorry to hear that you have
had a few sleepless nights as well.
Raining here now, so it’s melted all the snow at least for the day.
Am looking at going to Africa independently instead of with a tour
company, will probably head for Livingstone in Zambia, and stay in a
backpackers near Victoria Falls ( it’s called the Jollyboys, yes I know )
but it’s a lovely place to stay at £10 per night ( you can look it up if you
Google Backpack Zambia )
Will try and keep to the same dates or near enough, but the one good
thing is it won’t be as expensive as with a tour.
Well had better find something to do with myself, I could do the same
as you and look out of my window at the poor old daffodils.
Stay safe and warm, cheers, Terry x
about my safety in Africa, have walked with Lions in Zimbabwe and
came to no harm, but do not intend to do it on my next trip if I get
your approval to go lol❤️ Look up Jollyboys backpack hostel and
see for yourself that it is a very safe place. ( you may even buy a
backpack and get out of your comfort zone and tag along to hold
my hand haha.
Raining hard here today, but no snow thank God.
Hope that your trip to your daughters goes well, and that the floor
job doesn’t take too long so that you can get back to your own home.
Yes take your laptop with you and keep up with events on here.
Hope you have a good day, and please give me the ok to go off to
Africa later this year. Take care, best wishes, Terry x
to Africa on my own, I have a friend ( yes just one ) haha who has just
come back from a 2 week trip to Cuba with her friend, she has sent
me an email with some photos, and she phoned later, and we had a
long chat where she expressed an interest in visiting Cape Town, and
wondered if I would be going back there again, I told her that I had no
plans for another visit there but would keep an open mind about the
idea, early days but will wait and see what might happen at a later
date, so may not be going on my own// but of course I will get your
approval before I make any plans lol
Hope you have had a good day, still a bit wet and windy here at the
moment, I think that it will be the same tomorrow,
Glad that you liked what you saw of the Jollyboys, yes it is a lovely
place to spend a while in, also the town is very friendly, and lots to
do in the evening.
Well have a good evening, and hope that you don’t get too much
in the way of snow, take care, Terry x
I also understand not being able to say goodbye, I believe John was in denial about what was happening and going to happen to him, he didn't talk about it at all, right up to the end. The only comfort I have is knowing how much he loved me and vice versa and I'm holding tight to that thought.
Sounds like we again have something in common, after chasing my insurance co up this week it appears I need to get some pipes replaced! We had a leak some years ago, floor was dug up where the damp was showing and I'm sure they damaged a pipe and it seems they replaced it with one using a compression joint,......now I'm being told you shouldn't have compression joints under concrete floors and it needs to be replaced with a soldered one. I have a company coming out next week to quote to do the job. It's driving me mad now, John started the claim back this time last year, couldn't have anything done due to him being in a room that adjoins where the leak was, then Mum got ill so more delays. The floor was dug up and leak repaired in June last year, was only a small area and new flooring was booked in for November. Then all flooring had to be taken up and machines installed, it's been about 4 months now with the noise and dust from the machines all day. Can't wait for it all to be over.
Have you had much snow the past few days? We had a fair bit yesterday but, it had gone before I went to bed, got up this morning to find the garden full of it again and now after some rain it's all gone again and the sun is shining - typical for us Brits, eh! Just can't wait for it to warm up enough to get into the garden, I have a gardener coming out next week to quote for some tidying up - just hope I don't get to much of a shock at the cost, lol.
Take care and hope to chat again soon ....Jackie
ps.......it's getting really difficult keeping up with everyone these days on here
from Asda in town, quite cold here again today but at least it’s dry.
Will be like you, and stay in for the rest of the day, just watch a bit of
sport on the TV as usual on a Saturday.
When are you off to decamp at your daughters? I hope you have a
safe journey what with the bad weather,
Yes could be interesting having a travel companion, but early days
yet, still will wait and see what happens.
Have a good week end, and stay warm, take care, Terry x
I was separated in 1987 after 24 years of marriage and eventually divorced in 1994, so life has been totally different and I still find it very hard to trying to make a new life on my own, My daughter once said to me that society is geared to couples and families. She said this when she was 19 after a wrong diagnosis of cancer leaving her infertile at such a young age. I now realise how true her words are.
It is important to have people around us as we are getting older, circumstances change in everyone's life and we have to get on with it, hard as that is for many of us.
My heart goes out to you all coping with your loss but the sun will shine again. Memories can never be taken away when they are in your heart.
Nite nite. all.
I know the feeling of not knowing what to do with the rest of your life, been feeling like that a lot recently. I try not to sit and mope but, sometimes it just weighs you down, like you I get anxiety attacks when I think about going out on my own, okay if with other people.
All the things I used to do with John and have fun doing just don't seem the same anymore, I just hope one day I'll start to take pleasure in some of the things, have fun and enjoy life. I think as I was carer for my Mum for six years and then John being ill I became used to caring for someone and now on my own find it hard to look after myself a lot of the time.
I am slowly doing more in the garden and around the home but, waiting for my home to be returned to some kind of normal is getting me down as well.
Our stories are different, I never thought I'd end up on my own at this age. I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, how is she doing and coping with things? Do you have any other children?
I have a Son and Daughter and one Grandchild, my Daughter and her husband were trying for a baby when she had an ectopic pregnancy, she nearly died as lost so much blood, she couldn't conceive naturally after that and had IVF, the second treatment worked and she had a baby boy, that was 10 years ago now, so lucky we have him in our lives.
I'm here if you want to chat again then please do, thank you for your kind words and I'd like to repeat them to you, Take care.........Jackie x
You live in a lovely part of the country, have you always lived in Devon?
Great that most of your family are local to you, hopefully you see them on a regular basis. I have a Son and Daughter and one Grandson, unfortunately they both live over 2 hours away from me so I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to.
Like you, I feel lonely a lot of the time, I have a couple of friends here but, some weeks I can go 3-4 days without really speaking to anyone, Even when I've had visitors I can still feel lonely. Moved here to Lincs from Essex, before that was a born and bred Eastender.
Do you have any hobbies to occupy yourself? I've found it hard to try and get back into them due to all that happened last year but, am slowly trying to find my feet again,
Do take care and come back and chat anytime you want to, I might not answer for a day or two but, will always come back to you ....Jackie
Let me know if you want to chat more, take care ....Jackie x
I feel for u xx
What are your views on this?
Been in garden earlier moving a few slabs that I don't need at moment, but had a bit of painting to do in the house where a rad had been moved so just finished that, so just having a rest. The pond has needed a lot of work this year loads of blanketweed, next job is to pull the pump out and give it a clean. Hope your garden is looking nice for the summer. Take care Chris
You are not wrong about the cold thought I would venture out in the garden but soon turned round and went back inside, most I am doing is putting the rubbish in the bins and popping to do the shopping.
I've been venturing out in my garden a bit more when the weather is fine, finding it a bit overwhelming sometimes as have a lot of ground elder suddenly appeared and lots of unwanted grasses, have a gardener now but, he can't get to me as often as I'd like.
I've even tried taking a couple of cuttings and did a little seed sowing at the weekend, will see how they do.
Bit chilly here again this morning, they say will be warmer by the end of the week, we'll be able to get out there and enjoy our gardens again.
At last I've been told my floors, etc are all dry and am now waiting for a date for decorating to start.
Take care and chat again if you feel like it ..........Jackie
We used to have a large pond in the garden but, herons kept taking the koi carp, etc....it never looked right with netting over it so ended up filling it in after a few years.
Don't work out there to hard in the hot weather and take care, ......Jackie
It’s getting harder to make friends now - and frankly, I’m out of practice when it comes to simply chatting to pass the time - so I thought I’d start here, hoping someone may want to brush up their conversation skills with a positive outcome
I live in the US, have a specialized MBA in healthcare management and currently work in the clinical research/ pharma industry. Never married and no kids - most of my time has been spent “at work” or pursuing interests (art, history, politics, economics, business, marketing, finance... I love to take classes and learn!)
I’ve spent the past month listening to/watching music videos from the early 80’s - what a great that was!!! We were so lucky to have been alive then!
If you’re up for a conversation, let me know!
I am new to this site. I am 69 and live in Texas. I have lived in Texas since 2001. I lived in
Arkansas prior to that. I have two daughters and 5 grand children. I work from home. You stated you have lived in been living in New York City area. Do you have family there? Have you traveled a lot? I personally have never been out of the United States. I have been to a few other states though: Colorado, New Mexico, Louisiana, Connecticut, Illinois, Florida and Oklahoma. I look forward to hearing from you.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
I am new here and finding my way round this site. Has been a bit tricky to start with. ( May need a 5 year old to help) I am sure that I am not the only person to struggle a bit with new things. That is a story for another day. I am from Rochester and happy to chat.
Wednesday again, the weeks are slipping by.. Today I am having coffee with 2 female colleagues that I used to work with in the NHS. We catch up every few months, should be good fun
Recently I took my whole family of to 2 daughters their husbands and granddaughter to Madeira. Fantastic time. Temperature was a balmy 20 Deg. Big shock coming back to 3 Deg.. Have a good day and speak later.
Regards
Good memories of Madeira - had a tour from a cruise ship one day - some years ago...a lovely island and a favourite - I hear it is quite breath-taking to fly into though!! We saw the balcony where Churchill used to do his painting - a hire car took us round all the well known places to visit - a nice experience. Would have liked to be there longer!
A nice break for your famly at this time of year!
Caro
Thanks for your message, I have a sister that lives close and checks in on me on the phone a few times a week, apart from that no one really,.
Due to a muscle weakness in my right side I haven't worked for a few years, so spent a lot of time at home although I do drive.
I have just started getting support from the local hospice where my wife passed away.
I do find it hard to meet people but trying to adjust but it's very difficult.
Thank you again
Chris x
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Kind Regards
Debbie
That would be lovely.
Thanks Chris
Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in October 21. Such a shock really. It takes a lot of getting used to after being together with someone. We were married for 61 years so it's left a big hole. Would be nice to chat. I'll fill you in with some details about myself then.
My wife died in 2022 after 16 years together, it was a shock when we got the news after the tests lots of them. But we new from then that it was only a matter of how long, My wife worked in the NHS for 37 years in radiotherapy in Ocology so she new what to expect and being in the hospital where she worked for 14 years was good and bad. I must say the hard time for me is not having that person by my side almost 24/7 because of covid I know it's early but I really need company to share my life with, sorry that's just the way I am, please don't judge as am only saying how it is my wife will always be my wife.
I'm having to get a gardener in as a lot of the jobs I can't do..........heavy lifting, cutting back thick branches, etc. We always used to be out there together, it was our passion - looks awful at the minute but, hopefully once tidied up it'll encourage me to get back out there, I could barely go out there last year. Think I've been taken on by the people I've had so far and have had to bite the bullet and go with someone who is more expensive but, I think he'll do a better job.
Do you have any hobbies? I'm trying to get back into the hobbies I had, trouble with that is John also dabbled in them and again I miss his input and help when I couldn't figure things out.
I hope you feel comfortable chatting with us all and would look forward to hearing from you again
Jackie
It's really nice talking I am in the middle of tidying my garden after missing last year,making it more low maintenance still able to do it so now is the time to start. Don't offer to everyone but if you lived closer I would see what I could do in your garden for you. Don't like it when people take advantage of other and don't do a good job, perhaps that should be a new hobby or job for me.
It would be nice to see a picture of who I talk to, or talk via email if the suits you whatever. Raining here a moment so no work till it warms up a bit. Chris
Glad to hear you've been sorting your garden out, I'd like to make mine a bit more low maintenance but, not sure where to start! I have a gardener coming out next week to quote for tidying it up as like you didn't get to do anything out there last year. It's really strange that I used to know the name of every plant we had and now can't seem to remember a lot of them and am getting surprises with some things that I'd forgotten were out there. Are you really into gardening/plants? Or just like to have it tidy for somewhere to sit, etc. If you really enjoy gardening, etc then you probably could give helping others out for a fee.
I live in Sth Lincs, to far for my children to come and help out, not that either of them are into gardening, lol. As said before, I hope that once it's tidied up it'll encourage me to get back out there and into sowing seeds/taking cuttings, etc. My poor old greenhouse is suffering to and needs a good clean and sort out!!
Been snowing here the past couple of days, you wouldn't think so now as rain has cleared it all away and the sun is trying to come out...............can't wait for warmer, sunnier weather to arrive.
Take care and hope to speak soon...........Jackie
Well I hope the insurance claim goes well, I do like gardening just has to be nice to do it, will be sorting mine out this year, have already dug veg patch and covered it till I decide what to do. When I have dug the rest and finished I will send you a couple of pics hopefully when the summer turns up. Hope you find someone good to do yours.
Chris
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Love to chat with you.
It's such a shock when it's so quick like that.
Do keep in touch. It would be nice to chat
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Welcome and many thanks for your first comment in our Forum.
If you already know your way around, then we will leave you to it.
If you are looking for some lively discussions, head on over to the Forum homepage to see what's trending right now and feel free to join in the discussions, with all our friendly members, perhaps ask a question or even start your own post.
Would be nice to chat with you.
All the best
Leila
We all used to have family holidays when they were a bit younger in Portugal but they are growing up now and the granddaughter is at college so has not got so much free time.
My late wife and I loved to travel and we took early retirement to visit some amazing places around the world which I miss. I still like to get away and feel being with people does help although dinning on your own not so good. Weather at the moment is not good so it's a bit restrictive but when it breaks I have my garden which will keep me busy and I love to walk. As I said I did get away for a 3 day break in Norfolk which was nice and walk by the sea was good
but very strange without my soulmate. I hope I can find a way to move on but know it will be difficult as we were together a lifetime .
John.
yes it is the strange emptiness after being with someone for a lifetime I miss sitting down to breakfast in the mornings and having someone there in the evenings when your just watching tv, going out to dinner and so much more. They tell me life must go on but it's going to be a big adjustment. But it's good to chat to people who understand what it is to lose a partner.
John